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Funniest Excuses from SPs

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  • Thread starter Thread starter All4one
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All4one

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What is the funniest excuse you did hear from a SP?

Mine :

Before I found all these review boards I was using redzone. I saw some hot looking babe pictures and I called right away. First thing I have asked her on the phone if those pics are real. She said of course lol. Arrived to her location she opened the door I walked in. I was waiting the girl in the picture and I asked the girl who opened the door if the girl I called for is available she said it's her. I said what the ... It's not you in the pictures. She said she took them last year!!! lol I told her even if you took those pics 100 years ago it still wouldn't be you. And of course another lame excuse came up I was better looking that time. I laughed and left. I guess she was thinking men think with their smaller head more than their big head.

Let's hear some more lame excuses ..
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Here you go " I broke my nail that's why I can only do cbj"
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Mississauga are saw ad with hot pic in Now magazine advertising Sweet Asian Cheri. Called and she said its me see you soon sugar. Get there and a 200 pounder opens the door I asked for Cheri, its me she says i just gained a few lb over the weekend. I smiled and said sorry have wrong apartment. Never again :evil:

lame excuse.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Please don't touch my hair just had it done also do not ask for a long BJ just came back from the dentist.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Yea that dentist thing happens alot that is freaken sick!
Oh I just came back from dentist so no kissing, no BJ, no talking... lol. Why the f... You are here then????
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Sorry have to make this short my kids just called and have to leave, that is after she took my money. Never again and thank God for review sites.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Waiting for call back from a Craiglist sp, been in coffee shop for 45 minutes. Finally her friend calls back saying her cat is on top of a tree and has to rescue her. Huh?
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

I run out of condom but I have surgical gloves that we can use :shock:
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Please hurry! I'm do back at the Monastery in an hour.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Please don't suck my nipples I put piercings and I'm afraid to get infection on them, WTF :? so if she was not recovered why was she working? Of course that I respected her request but never ever I'll such that tits now I'm afraid. :|

Don't touch my hair I have a weding to go. :lol:
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

This was before HUBGFE and other review boards when I used to take my chances with Craigslist. This was one of my worst appointments.

I decided to get things started with some kissing, but she quickly turned her face and said "No kissing because I do not want to mess up my makeup" She advsertised LFK and DFK as a part of her menu. :? Ok, I did not mind too much, because she had a really hot looking body that little junior was ready for.

Then about about 10 minutes into the one hour appointment that we had agreed on, we had just started to get some hot sweaty action going and she suddenly pulled out and said "I do not like to fuck a lot" I quickly terminated the appoinement, got dressed and walked out.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

I walked into an incall, lady opens the door, mmmm not bad. Walk in for the regular shower and no soap or towels. Peek my head outside and ask the young lady

Ray-where's the soap and towels
SP- boooo, guess I ran out, it's been a busy day
Ray- when did you run out
SP-not sure
Ray- when's the last time you showered
SP- I rinsed
Ray- thank you but CYA
SP- wait I'll call my boss and see if I can get some
Ray- No thank you, I need to go home and rinse, maybe another time.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Knight Rider said:
Then about about 10 minutes into the one hour appointment that we had agreed on, we had just started to get some hot sweaty action going and she suddenly pulled out and said "I do not like to fuck a lot"
Click to expand...

At which point you say, "I don't like to pay a lot for a little sex'. Shit...I do that at home!" :lol:

KR, I hope you got SOME money back.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Worst experience ever: She showed up plastered to my hotel room and as soon as she got in started talking very loadly about how her cabbie had tried to short her but she stated "Im an ESCORT I know what a $20 bill looks like, over and over again. She brought a shopping bag of hair curlers "because Im going to the prom, silly" (She was clearly in her late 20's). She kept asking for whiskey and was going through my drawers looking for it because she was sure I had it hidden. Everytime I tried to get her to leave, she said "BUT I DONT WANT TO!" Then she stripped to what Im sure she thought was a sexy strip tease but was more like an awkward drunken display, stumbled over to my bed, attempted to blow me and fell asleep. I called the agency and owner said to dress her and take her downstairs, there would be someone waiting. Well she wouldnt let me, so I called my wife who was having drinks with our friend nearby They both said they were on their way. Thankfully in the meantime, she let me dress her and walk her downstairs, but no car. Call the agency and he says put her in a cab. I do this and make sure, the cabby is going to bring her to her apartment all while she is begging me to come home with her. As cab drives away, wife and friend walk up. WORST EXPERENCE EVER!!!
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

sentry11 said:
Worst experience ever: She showed up plastered to my hotel room and as soon as she got in started talking very loadly about how her cabbie had tried to short her but she stated "Im an ESCORT I know what a $20 bill looks like, over and over again. She brought a shopping bag of hair curlers "because Im going to the prom, silly" (She was clearly in her late 20's). She kept asking for whiskey and was going through my drawers looking for it because she was sure I had it hidden. Everytime I tried to get her to leave, she said "BUT I DONT WANT TO!" Then she stripped to what Im sure she thought was a sexy strip tease but was more like an awkward drunken display, stumbled over to my bed, attempted to blow me and fell asleep. I called the agency and owner said to dress her and take her downstairs, there would be someone waiting. Well she wouldnt let me, so I called my wife who was having drinks with our friend nearby They both said they were on their way. Thankfully in the meantime, she let me dress her and walk her downstairs, but no car. Call the agency and he says put her in a cab. I do this and make sure, the cabby is going to bring her to her apartment all while she is begging me to come home with her. As cab drives away, wife and friend walk up. WORST EXPERENCE EVER!!!
Click to expand...

Favorite line: "because Im going to the prom, silly" :lol: :lol:

Geez man you must of been shitting your pants, trying to get the sauce bag downstairs knowing your wife was coming.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

RayFinkel said:
Favorite line: "because Im going to the prom, silly" :lol: :lol:

Geez man you must of been shitting your pants, trying to get the sauce bag downstairs knowing your wife was coming.
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Ray, sorry I wasnt clearer. But I actually called my wife and her friend to help me. I was afraid I couldnt get her dressed and downstairs for her car. My wife and her friend know all about my hobbying. But you're right it would of made for a funnier story if she hadnt.
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

Sounds like my type a girl !Can you pm me her name and the agency?
 
Re: Funniest Excuses from SPs

warren52 said:
Sounds like my type a girl !Can you pm me her name and the agency?
Click to expand...

Dude, I dont know why I didnt think of it earlier. But you're right she's PERFECT for you. Ill PM you her info ASAP. Have fun. Will enjoy the review! :lol:
 
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