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Elite Companions

Funny flatulence stories

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Rayden said:
OMG this thread STINKS!:lol:
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About 2 years ago I went to an MP. I chose the sexiest lady with the most adorable ass. She was gorgeous, great body, tanned, blonde, blue eyed Barbie babe. When she proceeded to attempt to climb the massage table to start the body slide portion, she let out a huge clacker!:eek: I couldn’t help it and burst out laughing which unfortunately was the wrong thing to do. Poor girl was so embarrassed she left the room and wouldn’t come back.

The door person walks in and tells me my sexy little Barbie doll is not feeling well and introduced me to her replacement. I would have preferred the stinky one, the replacement was older, droopier, but gave a great release
 
forestgrumpy said:
Tried to do a silent one during Church one day sadly it wasn't, not a good day.:oops:
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Means your ass is a virgin one grumpy. :o
 
Ever had longest fart contests when you were young with your friends.
 
Senor Gomes said:
Ever had longest fart contests when you were young with your friends.
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I must have been about 16 with a group of buddies and we wanted to see if the fart torch was for real. We all took turns putting a lighter in front of our asses and letting one rip to see if it would shoot out a huge flame. No luck, no large flame and nobody had the balls to do it without pants on.

Still curious to this day if it really works, so if anyone has successfully lit a torch fart, please let inquiring minds know.

I agree with another poster, this thread really stinks!!
 
Rayfinkle, I thought you would be all over this thread. Put down the beer and show yourself!!
 
jumpingjackflash said:
I must have been about 16 with a group of buddies and we wanted to see if the fart torch was for real. We all took turns putting a lighter in front of our asses and letting one rip to see if it would shoot out a huge flame. No luck, no large flame and nobody had the balls to do it without pants on.

Still curious to this day if it really works, so if anyone has successfully lit a torch fart, please let inquiring minds know.

I agree with another poster, this thread really stinks!!
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I did this just the other day... :lol:
 
Slight off topic, but kinda related, has anyone been in a situation where the lady inadvertantly pussy farts? That has happened to me twice...once when we were doing the horizontal mambo and the other time when the lady was fully dressed and almost out the door when the pussy fart came out. I laughed my ass off during both occassions.
 
Kirk Lazarus said:
Slight off topic, but kinda related, has anyone been in a situation where the lady inadvertantly pussy farts? That has happened to me twice...once when we were doing the horizontal mambo and the other time when the lady was fully dressed and almost out the door when the pussy fart came out. I laughed my ass off during both occassions.
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:lol: happened once only she ran out the door quickly.
 
Kirk Lazarus said:
Slight off topic, but kinda related, has anyone been in a situation where the lady inadvertantly pussy farts? That has happened to me twice...once when we were doing the horizontal mambo and the other time when the lady was fully dressed and almost out the door when the pussy fart came out. I laughed my ass off during both occassions.
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I had a young lady queef recently. Didn't laugh but we both looked at each other. I shrugged it off and the session went on without another hitch.
 
PokerDude said:
I had a young lady queef recently. Didn't laugh but we both looked at each other. I shrugged it off and the session went on without another hitch.
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Was it the silent type?.
 
I was at the gym not to long ago and running on the treadmill. Let out a squeaker which I knew with the music playing in the background could not be heard. The problem was the stench that had slowly engulfed the entire area around me was horrific! A combination of soft boil eggs and hot barbecued red peppers, lethal odor!

On each side of me were two gorgeous woman, and one gentleman in-front of me. Of course I tried to deflect blame to the poor chap in-front of me by giving him dirty looks, which he was oblivious to because he was directly in front of me. Both ladies had bought into it as they were looking at him and shaking their heads as well. Poor guy didn't flinch, didn't look anywhere but straight ahead.

Has anyone actually ever admitted to being the stinker in a crowd? :lol:
 
jiggyjiggy said:
I love Austin Powers! Repo you and Jawbone are nasty!
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Come now Jigster, the king of the Kleenex boxes calling others nasty. Everybody breaks a little wind every now and then!

 
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