crackerjack
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2009
- Messages
- 135
Been fighting TOFTT panic attacks over the past few days as my little dooger dunkin’ protege (aka Lil’Head) has developed an incurable case of sweet tooth for chocolate. Even caught the boy salivating over pictures of “women of color” in the National Geographic. Threatened to call in our local veternarian and circumsize the lil prick if I ever found him gooing up my magazines again. Worked wonders till the lad started talk ‘bout sperm poisoning and passing into the afterlife. Not wishing to lose my lil buddy or be charged with cruelty to animals,,,,I blinked. Grieves me to admit,,,,,but,,,,,once againnnnnnnnnnn,,,,,found myself in the midst of another reckless testosterone charged adventure,,,, doing the pervert shuffle along Yonge St. in downtown Millerville.
Was greeted at the door by Ava Noelle; a tall “dark berry” semi-clad in Victoria’s Secret (which,,,,btw,,,was more revealing than secret,,,but I digress) ,,,,who extended a welcome into her dimly lit lair of lust. After my eyes adjusted,,,,, felt mildly disappointed as I was expecting a sizzling-hot, chocolate coated Barbie Doll oozing lustful intentions. One that had just stepped outta the bra section of the Sears catalogue. Disappointed too she did not offer an obligatory peck on the cheek as she quickly and forcibly thrust a towel in my paws. Spidey senses started tingling,,,,as her body language SCREAMED: ’GET-YOUR-SKRAWNY-BUTT-IN-THE-SHOWER-SUCKER-OR-NO-NOOKIE!!!’. Quickly took her non-to-subtle hint, dropped the donation, me knickers and high-tailed it into the loo before she towel-whipped my sorry behind. Grabbed the first bottle in the tub and was ‘bout to douse the naughty bits when I noted the label,,,,, VAGISIL. JAASUS!!! Get that in the boy’s eye it would be a cold; albeit, burning au naturale run down Yonge St to St. Mikes emerg room. Took care of the “will-nots” and bounded out of the shower in record time to find ma cherie draped over the bed,,,,,, looking impatiently adorable and cherubic.
A few whispered nothings, some tickling touches lead nicely into some mutual tonsil probing,,,,,,and in a flash I was all over her like white on rice (errr,,,ok,,,bad analogy). Nuzzled my way south with lecherous intentions,,,,for some DATY hijinks in the deep end of the (Y). Found her “Laura Secord pleasure button” ripe, drenched in sensual excess. Snacked on her sticky sweet engorged 'plum’ ,,,,gurgling over her “girly” unmentionables like a fat kid with a 7-11 Slurpie. Sensing Lil’Head’s throbbing impatience she magically produced a rubber sock for some triple-X R&R. Lost sight of the lad when she buried the boy in the back of her throat with a gag. Soon felt the onset of a Richter 9 building in some bunker deep within me groin. Pushed her down into mattress for some legs-in-mid-air-mish and pummeled those robust hips like a mad ape. With a crescendo near at hand,,,, held it back as long as I could when,,,,,”PHHHHUUUCKKK!!!!!”,,,, a violent blast erupted from me loins. Almost tore me self a new asshole in the process. PPPHHEEWWW!!! Felt that one in every single nano-cell of every fibre of every muscle.
DAMN!!! That’s gonna hurt in the morning.
Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:
Face: 7
Average facial features anointed with an ebony complexion, dark eyes and long black hair reaching for her glutimus maximus.
Body: 7.5
And speaking of glutes,,,,curiously enough; a black girl with a white girls ass. Not donning the usual ebony cast iron bubble butt which is so near and dear to my heart.
A tender 19-22 yrs young, approaching 140ish lbs and every inch of the advertised 5’8” with a body dipped in molasses. Not exactly an hourglass figure but more of an athletic blend. Bit of the baby fat creeping in but nothing a little gymn routine couldn’t fix up in a jiffy. Pictures on ToGF’s website yield a deceivingly coy illusion of a hot, blistering built sex machine – which I was anticipating. In reality she is more of a solid, large boned girl. Not talking a BBW able to kick start a 440 ,,,, but more a rugged linebacker for an all-girls-football-team kinda way. With wide shoulders and sturdy hips built to take a hearty beating from the baby stick. Pip squeak that I am, the initial hug felt like I was wrapping my arms about the Kelvinator fridge in my kitchen.
Thanks to my sometimers Alzheimers don’t recall any gaudy tattooes or piercings stapled to her flesh. Nevertheless,,,, WWWHHHOOOEEE!!! the girl is definitely large breast blessed. PPPPPERFECTLY sculpted set of D cups that will leave permanent stretch marks across your lips adorned her chest. No silicon in these puppies I dare venture,,,they's all Ma Nature built. Breast man that I am,,,,,,this was my whole reason for tempting temptation. An all natural firmness of melons still on the vine with delectable black areolas and nipples made for nursing an ole trout like yours truly.
Personality: 7.5
The lady was accommodating, cordial to say the least; albeit with a hint of reservation. I rated her lower as her “new to the biz” status was quite evident. Spidey senses detected a certain quirky persona, which can be rather disconcerting at times. Cannot quite put my finger on it,,,, but pack a grain of salt in your emergency hobby kit. You may need to take it. C’est la vie,,,it’s YMMV. Her apprehensions undoubtedly obstructed her true self from shining through. Conversely; her “babe-in-the-woods” innocence was most refreshing,,,, something which sadly is amiss in girls who turn pro.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 7.5
Not a psycho-amazing PSE/GFE session by any stretch of the imagination probably due to her “preemie” experience working in the underworld. Her apprehensions and random nervous giggling at inopportune times detracted from the moment. However, towards the 30 minute marker I could sense a more relaxed nature beginning to bloom,,,,just as the clock ran out (groan!).
Facilities: 7
Cleanliness of the room and shower was acceptable but not exceptional. Located in a mid-scale hotel in the downtown of our fair city. Oddly, Phone Lady requested I do not call from the lobby. Must be a Perv Patrol hired to foil us loitering lobby hobbyists. In any respect, found my dismal self standing outside at street level,,,,shivering in the cold,,,,being handed pocket change by sympathizers,,,,,,and fending off unwanted advances from the local limp wrist homos sapiens.
Losses:
$135.00 hh,,,,imho, fair price for blowing a wad without dropping a wad of hard earned $$$. Was fortunate enough to get in on a time limited 10% off Sex Sale (for Board brethern only). Otherwise; swinging dicks off the street would chuck a (gulp!) wallet bruising $150.00hh.
Repeat:
Will repeat,,,,but not any time soon. Spidey senses say she needs more experience (hopefully positive) and confidence working in the subculture. Will wait till she gets a few more Lil’Heads under her belt,,,,errrr,,,,,skirt.
Closing Arguments:
Admittedly a blind TOFFT taste test of the highest proportions. The boy and I went in with blazing gonad charged sexpectations,,,, blinding the usual mortal sensibilities. After the initial greeting,,, figured I did not have a snowball’s hope in hell of X-rated fun. Fortunately that was not the case. With proper grooming from the Membership, methinks this little confectionary treat has great potential. Regrettably, not a lot of ebony lovelies in this sport to choose from. Hence; before visiting this long-legged filly; do pack a pair of velvet gloves in your emergency hobby kit. The young lady deserves to be handled with the utmost T-L-C and R-E-S-P-E-C-T imaginable.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
Was greeted at the door by Ava Noelle; a tall “dark berry” semi-clad in Victoria’s Secret (which,,,,btw,,,was more revealing than secret,,,but I digress) ,,,,who extended a welcome into her dimly lit lair of lust. After my eyes adjusted,,,,, felt mildly disappointed as I was expecting a sizzling-hot, chocolate coated Barbie Doll oozing lustful intentions. One that had just stepped outta the bra section of the Sears catalogue. Disappointed too she did not offer an obligatory peck on the cheek as she quickly and forcibly thrust a towel in my paws. Spidey senses started tingling,,,,as her body language SCREAMED: ’GET-YOUR-SKRAWNY-BUTT-IN-THE-SHOWER-SUCKER-OR-NO-NOOKIE!!!’. Quickly took her non-to-subtle hint, dropped the donation, me knickers and high-tailed it into the loo before she towel-whipped my sorry behind. Grabbed the first bottle in the tub and was ‘bout to douse the naughty bits when I noted the label,,,,, VAGISIL. JAASUS!!! Get that in the boy’s eye it would be a cold; albeit, burning au naturale run down Yonge St to St. Mikes emerg room. Took care of the “will-nots” and bounded out of the shower in record time to find ma cherie draped over the bed,,,,,, looking impatiently adorable and cherubic.
A few whispered nothings, some tickling touches lead nicely into some mutual tonsil probing,,,,,,and in a flash I was all over her like white on rice (errr,,,ok,,,bad analogy). Nuzzled my way south with lecherous intentions,,,,for some DATY hijinks in the deep end of the (Y). Found her “Laura Secord pleasure button” ripe, drenched in sensual excess. Snacked on her sticky sweet engorged 'plum’ ,,,,gurgling over her “girly” unmentionables like a fat kid with a 7-11 Slurpie. Sensing Lil’Head’s throbbing impatience she magically produced a rubber sock for some triple-X R&R. Lost sight of the lad when she buried the boy in the back of her throat with a gag. Soon felt the onset of a Richter 9 building in some bunker deep within me groin. Pushed her down into mattress for some legs-in-mid-air-mish and pummeled those robust hips like a mad ape. With a crescendo near at hand,,,, held it back as long as I could when,,,,,”PHHHHUUUCKKK!!!!!”,,,, a violent blast erupted from me loins. Almost tore me self a new asshole in the process. PPPHHEEWWW!!! Felt that one in every single nano-cell of every fibre of every muscle.
DAMN!!! That’s gonna hurt in the morning.
Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:
Face: 7
Average facial features anointed with an ebony complexion, dark eyes and long black hair reaching for her glutimus maximus.
Body: 7.5
And speaking of glutes,,,,curiously enough; a black girl with a white girls ass. Not donning the usual ebony cast iron bubble butt which is so near and dear to my heart.
A tender 19-22 yrs young, approaching 140ish lbs and every inch of the advertised 5’8” with a body dipped in molasses. Not exactly an hourglass figure but more of an athletic blend. Bit of the baby fat creeping in but nothing a little gymn routine couldn’t fix up in a jiffy. Pictures on ToGF’s website yield a deceivingly coy illusion of a hot, blistering built sex machine – which I was anticipating. In reality she is more of a solid, large boned girl. Not talking a BBW able to kick start a 440 ,,,, but more a rugged linebacker for an all-girls-football-team kinda way. With wide shoulders and sturdy hips built to take a hearty beating from the baby stick. Pip squeak that I am, the initial hug felt like I was wrapping my arms about the Kelvinator fridge in my kitchen.
Thanks to my sometimers Alzheimers don’t recall any gaudy tattooes or piercings stapled to her flesh. Nevertheless,,,, WWWHHHOOOEEE!!! the girl is definitely large breast blessed. PPPPPERFECTLY sculpted set of D cups that will leave permanent stretch marks across your lips adorned her chest. No silicon in these puppies I dare venture,,,they's all Ma Nature built. Breast man that I am,,,,,,this was my whole reason for tempting temptation. An all natural firmness of melons still on the vine with delectable black areolas and nipples made for nursing an ole trout like yours truly.
Personality: 7.5
The lady was accommodating, cordial to say the least; albeit with a hint of reservation. I rated her lower as her “new to the biz” status was quite evident. Spidey senses detected a certain quirky persona, which can be rather disconcerting at times. Cannot quite put my finger on it,,,, but pack a grain of salt in your emergency hobby kit. You may need to take it. C’est la vie,,,it’s YMMV. Her apprehensions undoubtedly obstructed her true self from shining through. Conversely; her “babe-in-the-woods” innocence was most refreshing,,,, something which sadly is amiss in girls who turn pro.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 7.5
Not a psycho-amazing PSE/GFE session by any stretch of the imagination probably due to her “preemie” experience working in the underworld. Her apprehensions and random nervous giggling at inopportune times detracted from the moment. However, towards the 30 minute marker I could sense a more relaxed nature beginning to bloom,,,,just as the clock ran out (groan!).
Facilities: 7
Cleanliness of the room and shower was acceptable but not exceptional. Located in a mid-scale hotel in the downtown of our fair city. Oddly, Phone Lady requested I do not call from the lobby. Must be a Perv Patrol hired to foil us loitering lobby hobbyists. In any respect, found my dismal self standing outside at street level,,,,shivering in the cold,,,,being handed pocket change by sympathizers,,,,,,and fending off unwanted advances from the local limp wrist homos sapiens.
Losses:
$135.00 hh,,,,imho, fair price for blowing a wad without dropping a wad of hard earned $$$. Was fortunate enough to get in on a time limited 10% off Sex Sale (for Board brethern only). Otherwise; swinging dicks off the street would chuck a (gulp!) wallet bruising $150.00hh.
Repeat:
Will repeat,,,,but not any time soon. Spidey senses say she needs more experience (hopefully positive) and confidence working in the subculture. Will wait till she gets a few more Lil’Heads under her belt,,,,errrr,,,,,skirt.
Closing Arguments:
Admittedly a blind TOFFT taste test of the highest proportions. The boy and I went in with blazing gonad charged sexpectations,,,, blinding the usual mortal sensibilities. After the initial greeting,,, figured I did not have a snowball’s hope in hell of X-rated fun. Fortunately that was not the case. With proper grooming from the Membership, methinks this little confectionary treat has great potential. Regrettably, not a lot of ebony lovelies in this sport to choose from. Hence; before visiting this long-legged filly; do pack a pair of velvet gloves in your emergency hobby kit. The young lady deserves to be handled with the utmost T-L-C and R-E-S-P-E-C-T imaginable.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
What a go crackerjack you are a riot, thanks for the moment.
