4 Surprising Things You Learn After Considering Suicide

[Blank_Dave]

Seeing as Bell's been plugging their Let's Talk feature, for latter this week, I thought I'd provide the link.

www.cracked.com/blog/4-surprising-things-you-learn-after-considering-suicide

It is a rather lengthily article which is why I didn't C&P it. But some highlights....

The point is that suicide is a profoundly irrational act, and if you can get someone to snap out of that moment of crisis, they will reconsider it.

All I remember is that I was at home, I was angry and frustrated and anxious about something, I went for a walk to try to clear my head, I randomly wandered to a major road, and then I thought that all of my problems would go away if I just stepped out into it. I didn't think about how it would hurt, I didn't think about the consequences. All I knew is that my brain felt like it was eating itself alive, and I wanted it to stop more than I'd ever wanted anything in the world.

Have you ever seen someone react to a suicide by saying "How could they hurt the people who love them like that?" You don't think of it as hurting them. You think of it as helping them avoid the infection.

This could also be said about many murder/suicides as well. I'm not a mind reader, but I believe the thinking would go a bit like this "my death is going to cause them to suffer, so I'll end their suffering too." You can dress it up as noble or as horrifically as you wish, but I believe that would be the basic frame work of it.

When you're suicidal, you tell yourself that you're just being realistic and seeing life for what it really is.

Now flip back to the very first quote and read it again. Suicide is an irrational act, yet the subject typically views their actions as rational.

You don't just wake up and day and say, "Well, I've had enough, it's time to kill myself!" like you're deciding that it's finally time to see what all the fuss about Westworld is. But first you stop being happy, then you stop being functional, then you start to idly speculate about getting in an accident or getting some horrible disease. It's a burn so slow that you don't even notice that the light is fading. And then one day you might find yourself looking at traffic and giving it a long, hard thought without even realizing how you reached that point.

Don't lecture a suicidal person about how they have "so much to live for" -- they wouldn't be where they were if they agreed with you.

The day after you step back from the ledge, it's easy to recognize "I was going to kill myself, but then I didn't" as a sign of progress, and yet you might still feel just as awful.

The bad news is that, if your brain happens to work a certain way, the idea of suicide never completely goes away. It just pops up sometimes, this whisper in the back of your head about how there's an easy way to solve every problem. But if you make enough progress, you can tune it out. You stop listening to the encouragement, and you start listening to the parents and children and friends who were devastated and left to forever ask themselves if there was something they could have done. You start listening to the healthier part of yourself

But if your problems have become serious enough that you're thinking about putting a gun to your head, they are very real. Misery isn't a competition, and if you think otherwise, then that guilt is just going to be one more thing that shouldn't eat at you, but will.

Couple this with not lecturing a suicidal person, because you might think you're helping or pointing out the obvious. What you are really doing is just adding to their burden.

Because if you don't, you're going to wake up one day and realize that whatever was gnawing at you ate your ability to feel happiness, and that it's going to keep eating until all that's left is a hollowed-out carcass.

And to be honest, this is where I feel I fall.

 

[User-E]

Good post Dave.

 

[ERecTile]

Thanks for posting this Dave. The thing about suicide that most people don't get is that it's not a snap decision. By the time someone is ready to take that step, all natural self preservation instincts have been suppressed. I think the most important thing is to learn the danger signals with in yourself. Seek help, try to focus on positives, and stop thinking about the negatives. And if all else fails, make a drastic and big change in your life somehow. Putting yourself in a new environment can help stimulate the creative parts of your personality cause you're forced to adapt to new things and new routines. Old habits die hard so sometimes you have to give your life and electric shock that forces those habits to change.

 

[Jasper]

Always seeing the glass as half full is sometimes a subconscious choice. Some find it easier living this way than to take steps to change this outlook.

 

[God]

It is hard for those people to seek help when they believe their acting is a normal behavior.

 

[Boing]

And that a study found who step down from such ledges go on to successfully kill themselves? Hmmmmmm

 

[Guido]

Remember that you cannot take the easy way out. Suicide is one of the 7 deadliest sins, you ain't going to a better place.

 

[papasmerf]

Bet ya never knew there were words

 

[Blank_Dave]

Bet ya never knew there were words

Oh, I was aware of it, because they used the full version on the original MASH movie.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Dave, hang in there buddy.

I've been there too.

 

[Blank_Dave]

[url="https://io9.gizmodo.com/10-comics-that-can-help-you-understand-mental-illness-1576917503"]10 Comics That Can Help You Understand Mental Illness[/URL]

A couple of links to some of the comics listed in the above article. They can be some pretty heavy reading...

People With Mental Illness Enhance Our Lives

I'm sure the two links below will have many saying "Oh poor you, you're life is sooooo hard."

[URL="https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html"]Adventures in Depression

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.htmlDepression Part Two[/URL]

 

[Blank_Dave]

Remember that you cannot take the easy way out. Suicide is one of the 7 deadliest sins, you ain't going to a better place.

If you think it's the easy way, you might need to read this again....

 

[Blank_Dave]

Always seeing the glass as half full is sometimes a subconscious choice. Some find it easier living this way than to take steps to change this outlook.

Ok, I wanted to illuminate upon this, but first I needed to hit my library. Dr Jeffery Young and Dr Janet Klosko, wrote in Reinventing Your Life, about schemas, or emotional behavioral patterns. In one of their examples, they speak about abused women and why they continue to enter into abusive relationships. Because they feel "safe" there, there is a certain level of emotional comfort in it. Basically, they know what to expect. Where as entering a healthy relationship will be scary and uncomfortable, because that is new to them, it's uncharted water.

If you had a wand that allowed people to enjoy life, I'd be all over. I don't like being like this, it's not enjoyable. Do I want to change? Damned straight. Do I work on changing? Yes to that too, but it's not easy, and it's much too easy to fall back into familiar/comfortable behaviors.

Now a little extra to chew on, on the subject...

Depression and Anxiety Disorders Damage Your Brain, Especially When Untreated

How Depression Affects Your Brain Structure

And from the very last paragraph of the article...

[h=2]Key Strategies to Overcome Depression[/h]






Two key strategies for overcoming depression have already been addressed above: diet (trading in the processed foods for real food, with an emphasis on fermented foods to optimize your gut flora), and exercise. Optimizing your vitamin D level by getting appropriate sun exposure (or taking a vitamin D3 supplement with vitamin K2) is another key strategy not to be overlooked. In one previous study, people with the lowest levels of vitamin D were 11 times more prone to be depressed than those who had normal levels.

Considering the fact that vitamin D deficiency is typically the norm rather than the exception, and has been implicated in both psychiatric and neurological disorders, getting your vitamin D level checked and addressing any deficiency is a crucial step.

There's no doubt in my mind that if you fail to address the root of your depression, you could be left floundering and struggling with ineffective and potentially toxic band-aids for a long time. Your diet does play a large part in your mental health, so please address the impact processed foods might be having.

Also be sure to support optimal brain functioning with essential fats. This includes healthy saturated fats like avocados, butter made from raw grass-fed organic milk, raw dairy, organic pastured egg yolks, coconuts and coconut oil, unheated organic nut oils, raw nuts, and grass-fed meats. I also recommend supplementing your diet with a high-quality, animal-based omega-3 fat, like krill oil. This may be the single most important nutrient to battle depression.

Last but not least, add some effective stress-busting strategies to your toolbox. Ultimately, depression is a sign that your body and your life are out of balance. One way to return balance to your life is by addressing stress. Meditation can be helpful, as discussed above. When weather permits, get outside for a walk. But in addition to that, I also recommend using a system that can help you address emotional issues that you may not even be consciously aware of.

For this, my favorite is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Recent research has shown that EFT significantly increases positive emotions, such as hope and enjoyment, and decreases negative emotional states. EFT is particularly powerful for treating stress and anxiety because it specifically targets your amygdala and hippocampus, which are the parts of your brain that help you decide whether or not something is a threat.[SUP]https://articles.mercola.com/sites/...30/depression-makes-brain-smaller.aspx#_edn19

Notice "Cheer the Fuck Up" isn't in there...
[/SUP]

 

[Blank_Dave]

Dave, hang in there buddy.

I've been there too.

Oh, I'm past my point a while ago, Fug.

As I've stated in the past, I am inclined to suffer from dysthymia, mild anxiety, and either social phobia or avoidant personality disorder.

When I was fired at the end of November, I knew I didn't want to go through another round of full blown depression, so I immediately reached out for help. And so far so good.

As I said in my initial post, Bell's been plugging their Let's Talk promotion for a while now, plus they've also run it in the past number of years. A former member, HOF, used also make a point of bringing this subject up at least once a year, to show the people here how mental illness effects those around us, including those we consider successful.

I liked the first article because I felt it was very articulate about a subject that many like to disparage, especially when they've not been there. I get very frustrated hearing how it's the "easy way out." I would think very few people here would argue against someone with cancer laying in a hospital bed tubes running out of every orifice and then some, wanting to take their life. But make it a mental illness, and suddenly they're "weak cowards". In doing so, you're dismissing the pain and suffering they are in, and saying it's not real. It's a long hard hail back from that edge, and some silly platitudes like "turn that frown upside down" doesn't help.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Oh, I'm past my point a while ago, Fug.

As I've stated in the past, I am inclined to suffer from dysthymia, mild anxiety, and either social phobia or avoidant personality disorder.

When I was fired at the end of November, I knew I didn't want to go through another round of full blown depression, so I immediately reached out for help. And so far so good.

As I said in my initial post, Bell's been plugging their Let's Talk promotion for a while now, plus they've also run it in the past number of years. A former member, HOF, used also make a point of bringing this subject up at least once a year, to show the people here how mental illness effects those around us, including those we consider successful.

I liked the first article because I felt it was very articulate about a subject that many like to disparage, especially when they've not been there. I get very frustrated hearing how it's the "easy way out." I would think very few people here would argue against someone with cancer laying in a hospital bed tubes running out of every orifice and then some, wanting to take their life. But make it a mental illness, and suddenly they're "weak cowards". In doing so, you're dismissing the pain and suffering they are in, and saying it's not real. It's a long hard hail back from that edge, and some silly platitudes like "turn that frown upside down" doesn't help.

I'm glad you sought out help.

Get on meds if you're not already on them. Lots of people don't know that mental illness and or depression can be related to chemical imbalance. I've been on my anti-depressants for almost 10 years and it's helped immeasurably. Although I still have relapses once in a while, it's a lot better than it was.

Now if the shitty people would stop trying to interject themselves in to my life, it'd be a happy world for me.

 

[cristycurves]

Mental illness is ugly and how it is often treated, is ugly. As someone who's watched a friend of 20 yrs decline and go through the misery of misdiagnosis, unfit doctors, ineffective or inappropriate medications, I understand the complexities, complications and frustrations many have to face when diagnosed with a mental disease. So when some opt for suicide, I'm never critical.
I had an aunt by marriage, die from a pill and alcohol mixture, whether it was intentional or a mistake, we'll never know. Since many times those who suffer, suffer in silence and show no signs. Personally I think it takes courage to take ones life and it also shows just how much pain someone must be dealing with. Which for some is hard to understand.
I can only hope those who suffer will seek help, will love themselves enough to know they deserve life and a life without pain. That there are those out there that want to help, are capable of helping and that things can be better.
For what little solace this brings....To anyone suffering, hugs, my thoughts are with you and my hope is that you'll find your happiness.

 

[Jasper]

If you had a wand that allowed people to enjoy life, I'd be all over. I don't like being like this, it's not enjoyable. Do I want to change? Damned straight. Do I work on changing? Yes to that too, but it's not easy, and it's much too easy to fall back into familiar/comfortable behaviors.

Sorry, but we only see the familiar behaviour from you - never evidence of working to change it. I know it's not easy but you seem to go out of your way to stake this as your one-note tedious personae on here.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Sorry, but we only see the familiar behaviour from you - never evidence of working to change it. I know it's not easy but you seem to go out of your way to stake this as your one-note tedious personae on here.

STFU

FFS

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Mental illness is ugly and how it is often treated, is ugly. As someone who's watched a friend of 20 yrs decline and go through the misery of misdiagnosis, unfit doctors, ineffective or inappropriate medications, I understand the complexities, complications and frustrations many have to face when diagnosed with a mental disease. So when some opt for suicide, I'm never critical.
I had an aunt by marriage, die from a pill and alcohol mixture, whether it was intentional or a mistake, we'll never know. Since many times those who suffer, suffer in silence and show no signs. Personally I think it takes courage to take ones life and it also shows just how much pain someone must be dealing with. Which for some is hard to understand.
I can only hope those who suffer will seek help, will love themselves enough to know they deserve life and a life without pain. That there are those out there that want to help, are capable of helping and that things can be better.
For what little solace this brings....To anyone suffering, hugs, my thoughts are with you and my hope is that you'll find your happiness.

Those who've never been close to this or experienced the debilitating sense of defeat will never understand. Making light of someones challenges like some of the idiotic comments here, do not help and shows no sign of intelligence or compassion.

The last comment made me feel all warm and fuzzy, something I don't feel often when I haven't laid down a bunch of reds or browns. Thank you.

 

[ERecTile]

There seems to be a stigma attached to those who have considered suicide. I'd like to take a stand here and admit that yes, I've considered it more than once, and even came very close once as a child. If I'd been older, or braver, or less afraid of pain, or had a quick painless option available to me back then, it's very likely I would not be here now typing this on my phone.

When the world is against you, and your problems seem insurmountable, taking one's life can seem like such an EASY solution to everything. And the more you think about it, the more reasonable and logical it sounds, and the temptation to take the easy way out becomes stronger and stronger. Take note. This is a warning sign, and if you ever feel your thoughts traveling down this path, seek help fast. Talk to someone who you can vent to, and who can give yout honest advice. It's never too late until you take that last final step.