W
Wanker
Guest
It's hard to believe another year is almost over and, with it, another year of auto oddities. Over the last 12 months, various owners' manuals, news reports and the odd lawsuit made for some interesting items in 2011.
Dave shouldn't be here, man . . . Last December, a man driving from British Columbia to Newfoundland followed the shortest route given by his GPS unit. He crossed the border into Maine, where customs agents found half a kilogram of marijuana in his truck. He said he never intended to enter the U.S. and thought the border post was just a toll bridge.
We forgot about that: A Chevrolet Cruze advertisement in Motor Trend magazine asked, “Why bother with an expensive hybrid when 40 mpg is available at an affordable price?” In a follow-up letter to the editor, a reader wondered if GM had forgotten it also needs customers for its $40,000 electric Volt.
That's not all that isn't firmly attached: A Kansas motorist angry with his state's mandatory seatbelt law took to wearing a homemade version buckled around his waist when driving. When he received a ticket, he argued that the law doesn't specifically state that the seatbelt must actually be attached to the car. The judge disagreed and upheld the fine.
And it even pats your back for you: Porsche Cayenne's owner's manual states, “Judging by the car you have chosen, you are a motorist of a special breed, and you are probably no novice when it comes to automobiles.
”Don't back into your closet: Honda Odyssey's rear sensors may not be able to detect “sonic-absorptive materials such as snow, cotton or sponge.
”Does whatever a spider can: In February, Mazda6 models were recalled for the possibility of spiders weaving webs in a vent tube, altering pressure in the fuel tank and potentially causing it to crack. Animal rights group PETA responded by asking drivers with arachnophobia to donate their cars for animal rescue work.
It's smarter than you are: Mercedes-Benz's B-Class warns, “Do not leave the SmartKey in the cargo compartment. You could otherwise lock yourself out.
”That was easy: The manual for the Mercedes-Benz B-Class points out several potential problems and their solutions, including this: “Problem: A side window cannot be closed because objects are trapped between the side window and the door frame. Remove the objects. Close the side window.
”Maybe he planned to buy a car with the money: In April, a 42-year-old Connecticut man allegedly pedalled a bicycle up to a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through, threatened the clerk and rode off with a wad of cash. He was arrested shortly afterwards when he narrowly missed riding into a police officer who was responding to another call.
Insult to injury: The Hyundai Equus manual warns, “A seatbelt should be used when an injured person is being transported.
”Work it, baby! Planning Perspectives, a survey company that rates how well automakers interact with their suppliers, reported that “the U.S. automakers, realizing that an adversarial approach to working with suppliers won't work, have been working hard to work more collaboratively with their suppliers.
”Making a clean start: Nissan Quest warns, “Do not wash (the key) in a washing machine.
”When real isn't real enough: Mercedes-Benz offers a new unfinished wood interior trim package in its M-Class for customers who complain that passengers think the high-gloss wood option is plastic.
Walk softly and carry a big stick: When an 82-year-old woman had her purse snatched in Pennsylvania in June, her 89-year-old friend swung her cane at the getaway car. Police later identified the vehicle by the dent and arrested the occupants.
And yet she still loves him: In possibly the most bizarre automotive marriage of all time, Aston Martin — whose cars run from $135,000 to more than $300,000 — offers a gussied-up version of Scion's iQ subcompact. Called the Cygnet and priced around 30,000 euros, it's meant to be a second car that the company likens to “a tender to a luxury yacht.” Racing legend Stirling Moss buys one of the first as a birthday gift for his wife.
Let's do crunch: In July, a woman driving a $360,000 Bentley Azure convertible lost control of it in Monaco's ultra-chic Place du Casino. The fender-bender took out a Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Ferrari F430, Porsche 911 and Aston Martin. The total value of the cars involved topped $1 million, and it's estimated she caused $60,000 in damages.
Always sit up straight: Ford Explorer's manual warns, “Ensure that the seat is unoccupied when folding it down. Folding the seat while occupied could result in occupant injury or damage to the seat.
”They have minds of their own: Fiat warns that you should “Never allow your fingers . . . to project through the sunroof opening.
”A really hot performer: Mazda5's manual warns, “Do not use a match or live flame in the engine compartment.
”It's scary they have to warn you: Hyundai's manual suggests that you “do not inhale exhaust fumes” and “never attempt vehicle repairs in the traffic lanes of a public road or highway.”
We forgot about that: A Chevrolet Cruze advertisement in Motor Trend magazine asked, “Why bother with an expensive hybrid when 40 mpg is available at an affordable price?” In a follow-up letter to the editor, a reader wondered if GM had forgotten it also needs customers for its $40,000 electric Volt.
That's not all that isn't firmly attached: A Kansas motorist angry with his state's mandatory seatbelt law took to wearing a homemade version buckled around his waist when driving. When he received a ticket, he argued that the law doesn't specifically state that the seatbelt must actually be attached to the car. The judge disagreed and upheld the fine.
And it even pats your back for you: Porsche Cayenne's owner's manual states, “Judging by the car you have chosen, you are a motorist of a special breed, and you are probably no novice when it comes to automobiles.
”Don't back into your closet: Honda Odyssey's rear sensors may not be able to detect “sonic-absorptive materials such as snow, cotton or sponge.
”Does whatever a spider can: In February, Mazda6 models were recalled for the possibility of spiders weaving webs in a vent tube, altering pressure in the fuel tank and potentially causing it to crack. Animal rights group PETA responded by asking drivers with arachnophobia to donate their cars for animal rescue work.
It's smarter than you are: Mercedes-Benz's B-Class warns, “Do not leave the SmartKey in the cargo compartment. You could otherwise lock yourself out.
”That was easy: The manual for the Mercedes-Benz B-Class points out several potential problems and their solutions, including this: “Problem: A side window cannot be closed because objects are trapped between the side window and the door frame. Remove the objects. Close the side window.
”Maybe he planned to buy a car with the money: In April, a 42-year-old Connecticut man allegedly pedalled a bicycle up to a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through, threatened the clerk and rode off with a wad of cash. He was arrested shortly afterwards when he narrowly missed riding into a police officer who was responding to another call.
Insult to injury: The Hyundai Equus manual warns, “A seatbelt should be used when an injured person is being transported.
”Work it, baby! Planning Perspectives, a survey company that rates how well automakers interact with their suppliers, reported that “the U.S. automakers, realizing that an adversarial approach to working with suppliers won't work, have been working hard to work more collaboratively with their suppliers.
”Making a clean start: Nissan Quest warns, “Do not wash (the key) in a washing machine.
”When real isn't real enough: Mercedes-Benz offers a new unfinished wood interior trim package in its M-Class for customers who complain that passengers think the high-gloss wood option is plastic.
Walk softly and carry a big stick: When an 82-year-old woman had her purse snatched in Pennsylvania in June, her 89-year-old friend swung her cane at the getaway car. Police later identified the vehicle by the dent and arrested the occupants.
And yet she still loves him: In possibly the most bizarre automotive marriage of all time, Aston Martin — whose cars run from $135,000 to more than $300,000 — offers a gussied-up version of Scion's iQ subcompact. Called the Cygnet and priced around 30,000 euros, it's meant to be a second car that the company likens to “a tender to a luxury yacht.” Racing legend Stirling Moss buys one of the first as a birthday gift for his wife.
Let's do crunch: In July, a woman driving a $360,000 Bentley Azure convertible lost control of it in Monaco's ultra-chic Place du Casino. The fender-bender took out a Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Ferrari F430, Porsche 911 and Aston Martin. The total value of the cars involved topped $1 million, and it's estimated she caused $60,000 in damages.
Always sit up straight: Ford Explorer's manual warns, “Ensure that the seat is unoccupied when folding it down. Folding the seat while occupied could result in occupant injury or damage to the seat.
”They have minds of their own: Fiat warns that you should “Never allow your fingers . . . to project through the sunroof opening.
”A really hot performer: Mazda5's manual warns, “Do not use a match or live flame in the engine compartment.
”It's scary they have to warn you: Hyundai's manual suggests that you “do not inhale exhaust fumes” and “never attempt vehicle repairs in the traffic lanes of a public road or highway.”
