"breaking up" with a regular

[Ryan1967]

Hey fellas,

Curious on how you guys have handled this (or if you have ever done it...) I have been seeing someone with some form of regularity for the past 3 years or so, not very frequently but whenever she would come to town there was an expectation that I would see her. We have had great sessions over the years, but lately they have become kinda stale and...well...boring. I think the SP relationship has run its course and I am ready to move on...should I just stop replying to her emails? Always have a scheduling conflict? Tell her the actual truth (heaven forbid!)?

Anyway, definitely a first world problem, but curious on your advice.

 

[paul mott]

First of all sorry to hear this, as that's a long time to see someone, albeit not regularly. It's not always the quantity of time you spend with someone, but rather the quality of it, as I have friends I don't see often but the friendship is stronger than those that I see more often. You've said how you feel about this relationship, which is that it's got boring, but how does she feel about it...the same or is she still happy with the status quo?

At the end of the day, it's a business relationship, and girls end with their clients just as often as we do with them. As they say, breaking up is hard to do, but given how long you've known her, I'd say honest communication in a tactful way to end this, or at least give her a chance to give her opinion to you is the best. You did after all share some great times together for quite a while. If it can end respectfully then that's better for both of you, plus one never wants to burn bridges if you can help it. I say all this of course without knowing very much, as to why it's gone downhill, i.e. if it's suddenly or gradually, or if she's not being the girl when you first met. Most relationships start off hot and passionate, but over time it gets routine and often that's why we start to hobby.

 

[Ryan1967]

I guess it was gradual...but I think it is my nature to get bored over time. Our sessions have become routine, she has appeared to me less and less into it (or into me I guess), eyes firmly shut, less and less passion...I could do the George Costanza thing and say "it's not you...it's me...", but I feel she is just not as into it anymore, and like you said...it is a business transaction and one that I as a customer am not valuing enough. I guess I could tell her...but I might need to grow a pair of massive balls first...

 

[Hector17]

That's how it got for me with Nina a bit...although she was not a long time regular...there became an expectation that I'd be seeing her every second Saturday...I tired of the location, the "Friends" reruns etc, and stopped seeing her. Fortunately she accused me of outing her incall location in a post on T eR b, which I didn't do, so after proving it to her she tried to scramble and say she knew I wouldn't do that...I didn't rub her nose in it, but I was pissed off, and just drifted off...although I gave her a thought last Saturday lol....anyway back to your situation....(anyone I happen to know?) I dont think it would cause any trauma to tell a gal who doesn't even live here that you have moved on and made up a new batting order.
Paul is exactly right....at the end of it all...it is business...even when you think there is a great connection, if you're not paying her...you wont be with her. She will understand that.

 

[paul mott]

Who knows, maybe she's feeling the same way about you, as you are about her...it's getting boring, and based on her lack of interest and passion, that seems very possible. You may both be thinking the same thing, and neither is comfortable in having to tell the other, that they think it's best to part ways. Maybe with the passage of time it might come back. As well, when you met her and everything was going well, you were paying her because her service was good for you...and presumably for her too, but now you're still paying her, but for her less than stellar service. That's a factor you can never forget, unlike a relationship that isn't paid. You don't have to meet her in person to tell her, just say that you think it's best for both of you to take a break and leave it at that.

 

[Jingles]

I wonder if her passion would increase when she realizes the dollars lost? I have not had to deal with this so I don't really have an answer but I think most providers would keep faking it to keep the $ coming in.

 

[paul mott]

Jingles you're right, as maybe she's become too complacent and thinks she can just lie there, and not give Ryan her best and still get paid, as she thinks he'll continue without complaining, much less dumping her. If she's popular, loosing an occasional client won't hurt her that much anyway. Don't pay her good money for sub standard service, especially if you're not into her anymore. No guilty conscience necessary here, although I understand and respect your sensitively to her.

 

[blackram]

I sort of already did something like this with Marianne last year, I just stopped seeing her altogether, and stopped communicating with her. In her case, it wasn't because the passion was gone, but because she played a game with me, which I didn't appreciate. No drama from me, I just stopped talking to her completely after that, and now she misses me. I know this because she tried to contact me once, and I shot her down, and she's let other girls know about me.

But in your case, I guess I would never let her know the actual truth (unless it was a last resort). I'd say, tell her that you no longer live in the city anymore, and that you just keep your cellphone number for your family to contact you whenever they like. If she asks you where you live now, don't tell her anywhere in Canada, so she might try to come visit you on a tour down there. Tell her some place in the US, maybe like you live in Harrisburg, PA with Slurp. :biggrin2:

 

[slurp]

Ryan's not my type but she doesn't have to know that LOL

While I have had some long running relationships with SPs I never had to ditch one, it ended due to them moving on (or being deported lol). I don't think it would be a big deal for you to simply say "I can't see you this trip" without giving a reason. It's a financial relationship as much as anything, you could say you're having financial issues if she pressed the issue. If she then offered to fuck you for free it could be the spark to reignite the passion

 

[mmad]

Wow, great advice from everyone and all in less than 5 hours !! This is a fantastic group. I'd love to add my 2 cents but I have no experience with this... but some pretty solid advice above !!
Good luck.

 

[Skinflute]

More of a massage person, I have stopped seeing Julia on Ogilvie on a regular basis for the same reason as Ryan, a gradual decline in interest. I may go back one is a while to see a new girl she hired. After all we are just wallets to SP's and MA's. I stopped going to Booth St. location because of the HO HUM service. I never felt obligated to repeat. Like someone said, just say "sorry, I can't make it this time around, thanks for calling"