Breaking up with someone

[barotti]

How many of you break up with someone then never talk to them again ever? How long did you feel like shit for?

 

[The Frisky]

Still do and its been 3 months.:frown:

 

[Mastermind]

It sure does make you feel like shit.

 

[Nothingtodo]

Still do and its been 3 months.:frown:

Snap out of it lots of fish in the sea. 3 months is way to long, hope it's not an infatuation dude.

 

[SillyGirl]

I read an article about this a few months ago, and it said it's not unreasonable to allow yourself one month for every year the relationship lasted to pick yourself up off the floor.

I hope that's true, cause I'm still working on it. :frown:

 

[RAWD]

If it was bad enough to break it off and never speak again, I wouldn't feel bad at all. I had my reasons and made the call.

But if I were on the other end...it's all about closure.

 

[Blank_Dave]

I read an article about this a few months ago, and it said it's not unreasonable to allow yourself one month for every year the relationship lasted to pick yourself up off the floor.

I hope that's true, cause I'm still working on it. :frown:

Can't be true....Never been in a relationship, and have never gotten off the floor.

 

[munjacake]

 

[Original Handle]

Can't be true....Never been in a relationship, and have never gotten off the floor.

Not one, even for one day :???:

 

[tboy]

To the first question:

I seem to be hard to let go of, in 3 or 4 of my long term relationships we always saw each other again a few times after the break up and then ended up in the sack again. Then one day it is finito......rare is it when you can still remain in contact with an ex anything and it not be ackward. There are many who part as friends though, I think those are when the end is mutual.

As for picking oneself up off the floor. That only occurs when you are the breakee not the breakER. There should be no reason to pick yourself up off the floor if you're doing the breaking.....

 

[Blank_Dave]

Not one, even for one day :???:

Nope, nada, nil, none, not one. Not for one day, not for one minute. I don't even date.

 

[docboy]

I broke up with my exe and tried not to talk to her. Alas we worked together, so that didn't work out too well. Plus she wanted to stay in touch. Bitch.

I have now managed to sever contact and I could not be happier.

 

[a 1 player]

Depends on the relationship. Some women I have broken up with and we have remained friends, others I have never spoken to again. With some, it really hurt, with others, not so much.

For myself though, I usually just go out and get laid a couple of times, maked me feel a whole bunch better.

 

[tboy]

Depends on the relationship. Some women I have broken up with and we have remained friends, others I have never spoken to again. With some, it really hurt, with others, not so much.

For myself though, I usually just go out and get laid a couple of times, maked me feel a whole bunch better.

The way I figured it: if you're going to feel bad for months after you break up with someone maybe you shouldn't be breaking up with them?

Now this doesn't apply if they are moving to BF Argentina or you caught them cheating on you but if you just don't want to be with them anymore, why should it hurt?

But as for getting laid, most of my breaking up was all done before the sp scene was what it is today. Hell, if it was like this my life would have been so much easier lol.....seriously though. I've never been really good at picking up women and there were times when I went a year or more without getting any.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

There should be no reason to pick yourself up off the floor if you're doing the breaking.....

Absofuckinglutely agree. I'd like to think that you would carry the guilt and pain and regret for the rest of your life but never seems to be the case with me. Every person who has ever dumped me just... shook it off. Amazes me how it cannot eat away at you.
I've only been the one to break off a relationship once because he was cheating on me, and to this day I still feel awful for being so childish. Ofcourse, at the time I was still technically a child but I knew better.

 

[tboy]

Why would you feel childish for dumping a guy who was cheating on you? Hell I'd dump a woman in 2 seconds flat if I caught her cheating on me.....that's a numero uno no no in my books.....

Don't get me wrong, when I've broken up with someone I do feel something. But to say "pick myself up off the floor"? If I was that emotionally involved I wouldn't break up with them.

For those guys who dumped you amy and "just shook it off", these guys were probably callous jerks to begin with. But then again, like many these days, they probably had someone else all lined up before they dumped you. I can't tell you how many chickenshit assholes I know who do this.....lead a woman on until they get a couple others lined up then blow her off.....it makes me cringe really.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Why would you feel childish for dumping a guy who was cheating on you? Hell I'd dump a woman in 2 seconds flat if I caught her cheating on me.....that's a numero uno no no in my books.....

I realize as a society cheating is considered awful but I think that if a person means enough to you you'd work with them to fix why they were cheating on you to begin with. For me, at 15, it was my first serious relationship and it was obvious why he was cheating on me (he was 22 and I wouldn't go beyond oral sex with him) and if it had mattered more to me I would have done something to change. But I didn't. I put all the responsibility on him. Which was really immature of me.

For those guys who dumped you amy and "just shook it off", these guys were probably callous jerks to begin with. But then again, like many these days, they probably had someone else all lined up before they dumped you. I can't tell you how many chickenshit assholes I know who do this.....lead a woman on until they get a couple others lined up then blow her off.....it makes me cringe really.

Yep in every case, the guy or girl had someone else lined up, had been planning it for a long time, and I HAD NO IDEA! I was completely blindsided. That's what made me feel so much more foolish and gullible. I would never ever ever do that to anyone, not even my biggest enemy.

 

[tboy]

I dunno about the "work on why they were cheating", I'm not that way. You get my trust implicitly but once you burn that, it's ash.....to me, the talking should have occurred before the cheating, not after. I should think in a mature relationship if one is having doubts, they should be discussed beforehand.

Don't beat yourself up about exes who have lined someone else up before bailing on you, that happens to everyone at least a couple of times. Typically, those doing it are really good at hiding their true feelings and you're going along thinking everything is wonderful then they slam the door on your fingers......

 

[smylee52]

. For me, at 15, it was my first serious relationship and it was obvious why he was cheating on me (he was 22 and I wouldn't go beyond oral sex with him) and if it had mattered more to me I would have done something to change. But I didn't. I put all the responsibility on him. Which was really immature of me.


You were 15 and he was 22 and you thought you were being immature . You were technically a minor and he could face criminal prosecution . I don't even know where to begin on this one other than to hope you have improved your taste in men .

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I dunno about the "work on why they were cheating", I'm not that way. You get my trust implicitly but once you burn that, it's ash.....to me, the talking should have occurred before the cheating, not after. I should think in a mature relationship if one is having doubts, they should be discussed beforehand.

Oh ofcourse. totally agree on the latter point. The first one though... people make mistakes. I will always forgive someone if they're truly sorry.

Don't beat yourself up about exes who have lined someone else up before bailing on you, that happens to everyone at least a couple of times. Typically, those doing it are really good at hiding their true feelings and you're going along thinking everything is wonderful then they slam the door on your fingers......

Okay. Just wish my flashing neon sign saying "Walk all over me" would fade faster