Catching Feelings

[SillyGirl]

Permit my dime-store imitation of Dr Phil. Sounds as if your fear of the "C-word" may be playing some part in this. No you mopes, not that C-word......it's c-c-c-commitment.

Seems to me there is no formula or rule of thumb to seek refuge in. Nor is it something that benefits from analysis or over-analysis. My own opinion is you just have to go with, and trust, your gut. You are a smart woman so no worries. Best of luck

That C word makes me stutter too. :tongue:

It's not just that, though. Extensive over-analysis (I can't help it, it's what I do) tells me it's a matter of Brain vs. Heart. Brain says get out now before Heart gets in too deep. Heart says ride the ride and see what happens.

I rarely choose Heart over Brain. But when I think about not seeing him anymore, it makes Heart sad.

Thank you all for the input, I appreciate it.

 

[Art Mann]

You have a good heart, SillyGirl.

It gives you better advice than we can.

Listen to your heart. Trust your heart. Go with your heart.

 

[God]

SillyGirl. I know that deep in your heart you know the right answer. Good of you to ask for advice and other point of views. I have a feeling that you will make the right decision.



Good luck.

 

[oldguyzer]

Still not clear if SG is trying to talk herself IN or OUT...or maybe both. :biggrin2:

 

[SillyGirl]

Still not clear if SG is trying to talk herself IN or OUT...or maybe both. :biggrin2:

Out.

I think I've decided to just do nothing and let things play out for awhile.

So I guess I haven't decided anything at all. :SIGH:

 

[Virus]

So I guess I haven't decided anything at all. :SIGH:

A woman's prerogative. At least you have that on your side :biggrin2:

 

[oldguyzer]

So I guess I haven't decided anything at all. :SIGH:

But you can always change your mind :biggrin2:

 

[HOF]

Tiny, SG has been riding the ride and enjoying it!

SG stop analyzing this! You both have feelings (a fondness) more than just between the sheets! You can keep it light, tight and right but you enjoy this fella and it has been a blessing for you in many ways! A coming out of the dark past and blossomed into at least a great friendship, maybe more, maybe steady boyfriend light!

That C word can be used COMMITMENT (kinda, sorta, maybe! For a brief moment, I thought it was gonna be the other C-word and we don't need that again!:biggrin2:

 

[dreamblade]

I'd bite the bullet and and do a verbal check on where the both of you are standing in this. Maybe there are other options, paths, that you don't yet see?

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Out.

I think I've decided to just do nothing and let things play out for awhile.

So I guess I haven't decided anything at all. :SIGH:

I tried this in my younger years straight out of university. It slowly eats away at you. You begin to have thoughts of "what if" and "what could be" and that really hurts. The women I was "with" was a good friend and I loved hanging out with her and she too with me. But soon after our hanging out produced feelings in me for her I could not shake. I found myself thinking about her quite often and then making excuses as to why I should call her. Although she thought we were friends I was in it for more. I never said anything about it to her and in some ways I regret that because I wanted more. I say "in some ways" because time has allowed me to step back and enjoy the relationship we have today. It's an unclouded friendship now.

I shudder to think what would have happened if I pursued it anything further back then. I'm convinced we would have separated as friends as I am not a very good loser.

 

[oldguyzer]

I tried this in my younger years straight out of university. It slowly eats away at you. You begin to have thoughts of "what if" and "what could be" and that really hurts. The women I was "with" was a good friend and I loved hanging out with her and she too with me. But soon after our hanging out produced feelings in me for her I could not shake. I found myself thinking about her quite often and then making excuses as to why I should call her. Although she thought we were friends I was in it for more. I never said anything about it to her and in some ways I regret that because I wanted more. I say "in some ways" because time has allowed me to step back and enjoy the relationship we have today. It's an unclouded friendship now.

I shudder to think what would have happened if I pursued it anything further back then. I'm convinced we would have separated as friends as I am not a very good loser.

Ahhh....the lost love. We all have them and wonder...

 

[Cardinal Fang]

I hate the fact that human beings are so farking complicated.

 

[oldguyzer]

I hate the fact that human beings are so farking complicated.

Actually, I'd argue humans are too damn predictable. Glad I'm not human :biggrin2:

 

[peace]

In a civilian situation: Suppose you have been seeing someone casually for almost a year. S/he has been clear about not wanting a serious relationship, and you were okay with that.

But then about a month ago s/he started calling frequently for no reason. You hung out a few times without having sex. And now you are realizing that you are catching feelings that you don't want to catch.

You understand that for a lot of reasons, the relationship can't become more than it now is. Is it better to stop seeing the person as soon as you realize you've caught feelings, thereby preventing certain frustration and hurt feelings later? Or do you just ride the ride? :dontknow:

Aww are you falling for my hugs? :biggrin2:

 

[SillyGirl]

I'd bite the bullet and and do a verbal check on where the both of you are standing in this. Maybe there are other options, paths, that you don't yet see?

Yikes. I'm not planning on telling him. I remembered something important about feelings, and it is this: they change. That's why important decisions should not be made based on them.

I'll just ride the ride and see what happens. I just have to stop being such a girl about it. Funky & Music

 

[oldguyzer]

I'll just ride the ride and see what happens. I just have to stop being such a human about it. Funky & Music

Fixed your post. You're welcome :biggrin2:

 

[train]

I'll just ride the ride and see what happens. I just have to stop being such a girl about it.

Ride the what?

 

[Art Mann]

Ride the what?