Do highly intellectual and academically successful women make good mothers?

[Louis XIV]

Or are they too clinical, detached, logical, and emotionally unavailable to truly form a close and intimate mother-child relationship? Hmmmmmm

Thoughts?

 

[Boing]

Never met one but odds are they give good intellectual head.

 

[Beef Jerky]

False. Like saying men with high IQ make the best fathers.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I try to stay away from smart women as much as I can,lol.

They see me coming from a long way off.

 

[SillyGirl]

Or are they too clinical, detached, logical, and emotionally unavailable to truly form a close and intimate mother-child relationship? Hmmmmmm

Thoughts?

I don't think it's the kind of thing about which such a broad generalization can be made. Sometimes the people you think would be horrible parents turn out to be great, and vice versa.

 

[Louis XIV]

I don't think it's the kind of thing about which such a broad generalization can be made. Sometimes the people you think would be horrible parents turn out to be great, and vice versa.

Agreed. I actually had never thought about it at all until yesterday when during the course of a session, the SP I was visiting (a highly intellectual doctoral student) asked me that question as part of our conversation. Thought I'd post it here and see what others think...

 

[peace]

One thing for sure, I find highly intellectual and academically successful women very attractive..

 

[papasmerf]

to me it becomes a question of giving and not over thinking.
much of what makes a good parent is instinct.

 

[Louis XIV]

Although....

 

[Leo]

Absolutely !

 

[Louis XIV]

The challenge for most women has always been the gender double standard and mutual exclusivity of life choices.

For a woman to be an accomplished academic, and build a successful career, invariably they are forced to forfeit time and effort directed towards having and raising children.

What this means is that it is very hard for a woman to be a great, prototypical doting Mom, AND gain significant academic standing AND achieve a high degree of career/financial success.

Men have never really faced this issue, as they have traditionally used women as surrogate parents while pursuing higher education and career advancement. It is really only in recent times that men are being forced to make similar life choices, as their spouses needs and wants influences a balancing of the responsibility scale.

Historically though, for women, it was very hard to have their cake and eat it too. Choosing higher education and career essentially meant most often sacrificing much of the traditional maternal relationship. Not for all, but I'd still say for most.

 

[User-E]

The challenge for most women has always been the gender double standard and mutual exclusivity of life choices.

For a woman to be an accomplished academic, and build a successful career, invariably they are forced to forfeit time and effort directed towards having and raising children.

What this means is that it is very hard for a woman to be a great, prototypical doting Mom, AND gain significant academic standing AND achieve a high degree of career/financial success.

Men have never really faced this issue, as they have traditionally used women as surrogate parents while pursuing higher education and career advancement. It is really only in recent times that men are being forced to make similar life choices, as their spouses needs and wants influences a balancing of the responsibility scale.

Historically though, for women, it was very hard to have their cake and eat it too. Choosing higher education and career essentially meant most often sacrificing much of the traditional maternal relationship. Not for all, but I'd still say for most.

This has been the story of my life. I had to support myself at age 17 so wasn't able to pursue post secondary education, then I was a single parent most of the time I raised my kids, and passed up many great career opportunities because I chose to prioritize being a parent and dedicating my time to my kids.

Once my kids were grown and independent, and I began to dedicate my time to work, my family resented that I no longer had time to spend with them because I prioritized my career.

 

[Louis XIV]

Comments like these are so hypocritical. It completely ignores the fact that men may have preferred to be paternal and stayed at home but social pressures forced them to go out and be the bread-winners. It also ignores the fact that many women have preferred to stay at home and be maternal. People are different and have to make their own choices about how they live their lives. Those choices come with consequences and it's not always anybody's or everybody's fault.

You do live on Planet Earth, right? It has ALWAYS been an 'either/or scenario' for the majority women in terms of choosing family or education career, and even then, social pressures acted against them much more oppressively than they ever acted against men facing similar decisions.

Only in very rare instances, and until recent years, have women ever been afforded the luxury of pursuing both simultaneously with some certainty of success. It's easy to say women preferred to stay home and be maternal when the truth of the matter was that there really was no other alternatives available to them until the last 20 years or so. Not to mention factoring in the disparity in employment opportunities and financial inequity that still exists between the sexes, which makes pursuing education and career for women an ongoing struggle even at the best of times.

Men can hardly be considered victims in context. Precious few men ever deliberately chose to be stay-at-home dads, preferring to wipe the snot off a baby's nose and scoop the shit out of their ass crack and diaper in lieu of escaping to the relative comfort of a 9-5 job. For women, this is called maternal instinct. Men consider it largely forced labor.

 

[User-E]

This has been the story of my life. I had to support myself at age 17 so wasn't able to pursue post secondary education, then I was a single parent most of the time I raised my kids, and passed up many great career opportunities because I chose to prioritize being a parent and dedicating my time to my kids.

Once my kids were grown and independent, and I began to dedicate my time to work, my family resented that I no longer had time to spend with them because I prioritized my career.

Thinking about this some more and realized that as a child, I was raised differently than my brothers. I was trained to run a household, prepared for a future as a wife and mother, never encouraged to think about university or a career - even though I was 'bright' enough to skip an entire grade and still remain at the top of my classes academically. I didn't have much spare time for extracurricular activities because I had so many household chores to do, and me babysitting my siblings for free for them, was more important to my parents.

 

[Senor Gomes]

I don't like them too smart.


They confuse me.

 

[Louis XIV]

This is the kind of crap you hear from minorities of any type. Oh....we didn't have the ability to choose. It's someone else's fault. (Don't forget, I'm a minority). Everyone has choices to make and almost nobody anywhere in the world gets their cake and gets to eat it too. Men and women are shoved into their little roles by society. If people are weak enough to let that determine how their lives are going to go, then too bad. I've never let anyone hold me back because I'm a minority. I've never let myself blame others for my lot in life. And I am responsible for the outcome in my life.

Look, everyone has suffered. Women aren't the only ones who've had to sacrifice for their families. Every single person has had to sacrifice in one way or another. Making a generalized statement about what men want or what women want is such bullshit. Each person is individually and uniquely motivated. Each person has to face their own situations. Look at the movie Mr. Mom. A man staying home while the woman goes out and earns the money....tell me those types of guys didn't take any crap or feel pressure or whatever.

 

[Stubby]

:-Cool/"