Find a Guy

[tboy]

I'm not having a hard time finding someone, I won't settle for anything less than Ms Right, not Ms right now........

 

[blissful]

I'm not having a hard time finding someone, I won't settle for anything less than Ms Right, not Ms right now........

Hate to break your bubble but there is no Ms Right or Mr Right.:no:
You make your life the way YOU want it and the decisions are how you make them. So I am sick and tired of people wining how their lives sucks etc. I have disappointments too but I move on, I use them as a learning experience.

Shit if everybody was looking for Mr Right and Ms Right there will be no humans. What is Right when you married or are going to marrying them, will become,if you let it, Mr Wrong and Mrs Wrong later on in the marriage. We all have faults and everybody has choices but it is how you look at life that makes a difference.

Ok I am done:neutral:

 

[Blackrock13]

Hate to break your bubble but there is no Ms Right or Mr Right.:no:
You make your life the way YOU want it and the decisions are how you make them. So I am sick and tired of people wining how their lives sucks etc. I have disappointments too but I move on, I use them as a learning experience.

Shit if everybody was looking for Mr Right and Ms Right there will be no humans. What is Right when you married or are going to marrying them, will become,if you let it, Mr Wrong and Mrs Wrong later on in the marriage. We all have faults and everybody has choices but it is how you look at life that makes a difference.

Ok I am done:neutral:

Now This is where I gotta get into this.

Bliss your inner thoughts are starting peak out and it's clear you're a tad bitter, jaded, or hurt ( I don't know the exact word to use) at this time/point in your life. There is a Mr/Ms Right out there for everyone; perfect no, right yes. Some people never find that person, some people can't recognize them when they do, and some just screw it up so bad when they do have it right and they lose them.

Your partner spouse or SO is never going to be perfect, but it's great when it's working right. You feel great when you're with them, think about them often when you're not, can't wait to see them again, and they make you push yourself to do things and achieve thigs you wouldn't normally do. They should also be able to give you a shot upside the head when you deserve it. They compliment certain aspects of your life and personality and contrast others. I know because I've got the scars to prove it and learned when to duck or say, 'yes dear' in my daily life. Yet when it's good, there's nothing like it.

I know because I've been there and am twice blessed because I'm there again. Yes people change through life, but you deal with those changes as they occur. If it means splitsville , fair enough, but just don't throw in the towel because they didn't like you going out with a couple of friends last Friday or think it wasn't a good idea to buy the that Gucci purse when you've been skimping on other things.

 

[blissful]

Now This is where I gotta get into this.

Bliss your inner thoughts are starting peak out and it's clear you're a tad bitter, jaded, or hurt ( I don't know the exact word to use) at this time/point in your life. There is a Mr/Ms Right out there for everyone; perfect no, right yes. Some people never find that person, some people can't recognize them when they do, and some just screw it up so bad when they do have it right and they lose them.

Your partner spouse or SO is never going to be perfect, but it's great when it's working right. You feel great when you're with them, think about them often when you're not, can't wait to see them again, and they make you push yourself to do things and achieve thigs you wouldn't normally do. They should also be able to give you a shot upside the head when you deserve it. They compliment certain aspects of your life and personality and contrast others. I know because I've got the scars to prove it and learned when to duck or say, 'yes dear' in my daily life. Yet when it's good, there's nothing like it.

I know because I've been there and am twice blessed because I'm there again. Yes people change through life, but you deal with those changes as they occur. If it means splitsville , fair enough, but just don't throw in the towel because they didn't like you going out with a couple of friends last Friday or think it wasn't a good idea to buy the that Gucci purse when you've been skimping on other things.

I guess it is How you Define Mr Right or Ms Right really. Has I stated everybody has faults but some people go into marriage thinking they will have a perfect one or they can change the person or they will always get their way and that is not the case.

I am not bitter, actually I am still very much in love with Brash and even when we have our issues we take time with each other and give space. We change and grow and if one of us is behind the other we take our time waiting for each other. We have been through things and we both look at issues, even very difficult ones as growing and changing as a couple or individually.

There are Women and Men waiting for the perfect person and they will miss them because of one silly thing the other does to make them upset. I know a lot of 30 something women who are looking for mister right and 30 something guys doing the same thing. You hear he too short, she too thin, he would be great but he does not make enough, she is fantastic but she does not like to give head so on............ Always one thing.

 

[tboy]

^^^ exactly...and as so many shows like Oprah, The View etc it is so so so SO fucking wrong for a woman to settle for anything less than what she wants, so be it the same for me. I'm not sad, upset or other negative thought because I haven't found her yet, and if I never find her? BFD.

You see, (and I think Bliss is one of them) there are SO many people out there who cannot survive for a day, or a week without having a member of the opposite sex in their lives. They feel incomplete and can't stand living or being alone. Me? I'm 100% perfectly content to be single, and if I live that way for the rest of my days? Great......you see, no matter what, we all die alone whether we're in a room full of people or not.

I have to wonder why those who cannot live without someone in their lives always look down on those (like myself) who would rather be single than with someone who isn't really what they want?

Here's the benefit of being single:
I can eat KD 3 times in a row if I want.
If I want to get up at 3 am and play rob zombie on the stereo at level 11, no problem.
I don't have to watch Oprah or the View, or any of those other $*(&*(@ shows
If I wake up at 4 am, I can get dressed, hop on my bike, and go for a blast
I can leave the toilet seat up and NO ONE CARES
I can buy anything I want at any time without having to justify the expenditure to anyone
I can have sex with whoever I want whenever I want as many times as I want
When I bought my house, it was what I wanted, I didn't have to confer with anyone to see if THEY liked it too.....
When I moved out of toronto, I didn't have to worry about anyone having to change THEIR jobs too
If I want to go down south? I choose where I want to go.
I can stay in my sweats all weekend and no one cares.....
I can BBQ in my boxers
I can not shave for 3 days and no one complains

it's called freedom, Bliss? You should try it sometime.......

(not knocking those who are in relationships, just pointing out the benefits of being single)

 

[Blackrock13]

I guess it is How you Define Mr Right or Ms Right really. Has I stated everybody has faults but some people go into marriage thinking they will have a perfect one or they can change the person or they will always get their way and that is not the case.

I am not bitter, actually I am still very much in love with Brash and even when we have our issues we take time with each other and give space. We change and grow and if one of us is behind the other we take our time waiting for each other. We have been through things and we both look at issues, even very difficult ones as growing and changing as a couple or individually.

There are Women and Men waiting for the perfect person and they will miss them because of one silly thing the other does to make them upset. I know a lot of 30 something women who are looking for mister right and 30 something guys doing the same thing. You hear he too short, she too thin, he would be great but he does not make enough, she is fantastic but she does not like to give head so on............ Always one thing.

My comments weren't aimed at you and Brash but more so you're comments on Mr/Ms Right. People who 'marry' someone as a compromise is just asking for problems. They're half way to failure before they start. If there was only one thing about my SO I didn't like. I'd consider myself a big winner. I wouldn't want someone just like me. It wouldn't work at all. Those comments you listed for not choosing that person just make me shutter and yet they do get said. Those people will spend the latter part of their life alone and missing out big. Mind you, there are people who are happy being alone, fair enough, enjoy, but don't complain about your love life, or lack of.

TB, you are one of those people who don't mind being single and I don't see you complaining about it. That's a good thing. Being single does have it's advantages, just like traveling alone. Decisions and choices are simpler because it's only a committee of one involved. As far as your comment on dieing alone in a room full of people, NUTTS! A large number of people are there because they care. Maybe not for you, but for your family and other friends who've been affected by your life and your death. You sound like the smoker who says, 'it my life and and I'll live it the way I want and smoke if I want'. Your death will affect others long after your demise. If you've been through this world and died, but nobody mourned you passing, it's been kind of a waste of time.

View this video for an interesting thought. 10 minute well spent.

 

[blissful]

I don't do talk shows I think TV is not a good way to learn social skills, just like email.

I lived on my own. Left home at 16 and wondered. Even when I was with Brash, he and I live separate lives for a few years due to work, so one of us would have to travel to see the other. Shit we moved around a lot, loved it at times hated it.

I can and do walk around naked, neighbours have not complain, she is gay, the ones across the street are East Indian, her husband likes me.:happy: I cook or don't, I do what I want. Yes there are commitments we have but I do with my family too, eg if we go on vacation tell my sisters so they don't worry etc.

We are by far a perfect couple but we work at it all the time, every sec, minute, hour day.............There are days we both want to give up but we hang on breath and give each other space, we focus on the happy times and the times we were idiots and realize putting the toilet paper roll on back wards is not a big deal, or forgetting to tell me about his threesome, oh well as long as he had fun. I would not want a perfect marriage, how would I grow as a person, I love my Chaos thank you. Now don't you people get stress by what I say, breath and smile.

I found out I do not have Cancer today So I am in a good mood, so Brash and I are taking out fuck up marriage and celebrating it with a threesome this weekendarty:

 

[rodman11]

Good thread. Different points of views without the bashing. Keep it up guys (girl), getting the popcorn.

 

[Blackrock13]

Whoa!!

Whoa!!

I missed this. Bliss Congrats. Anyone who beats cancer is a winner and a hero to me.

Like I said you sounded bitter, but have other aspects of you life in order. I know what you mean about walking around without clothes on, with or without my SO being around.

My late edit of my last post may have been missed by some. It's worth a repost enjoy;



For others too bad.

 

[Blackrock13]

Another Good One

Another Good One

10 minutes well spent;

 

[tboy]

Hey Black, I wasn't disagreeing with you, I opened with ^^^ exactly meaning I agree with you.

As for my comment "we all die alone". No matter how many people are in the room, dying is a very private personal thing. No one is inside your head therefore you're effectively "alone". Now there can be people around you soothing you, holding your hand, telling you you are loved etc but when that spark goes out, all those people aren't going to help you. Don't know if you understand, I forget which book I got that all from, but it was bang on.

Anyhow, there's pros and cons to being single, and in a relationship. I've had both and frankly, I much prefer the solo life. You know, all my life I was searching searching chasing chasing playing games, changing the way I was, all to 'get' women. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Was it all worth it in the end? Nope....not in the least. I've had some amazing relationships but for each, I've spent years and wasted hours and hours x 3 to get there.

I know a lot of guys feel the same way. Wasted hours and energy chasing women and going home frustrated and alone. Get it? after all the "work" they (we) are still alone.

The pinacle moment (I guess it was like when people find god) was one night I was out with some friends. We went for dinner first and I said "i'm not letting the rejection get to me, tonight I will NOT give up....". 12 hrs, 5 bars, 2 restaurants and a house party later, after approaching, hitting on, asking to dance, trying to strike up a convo with 27 women...I said "wtf" am I doing? Forget THIS shit........

Ever since then really, I've been happier than a pig in shit. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I've been carrying around all my life. I can honestly say that I've probably spent half my adult life in the pursuit of women.......what a WASTE......in that time I could have gone to university, got my master carpenter's ticket, sailed around the world. Instead, what do I have? SFA to show for my effort......

So, for those that have to "work" at a relationship? Whatever floats your boat. Me? I'd rather work at being happy...........

Oh, just one more thing: I have made it known I moved to Muskoka. A month after I moved here I bought that sportster. I became pretty good friends with my R/E agent and his wife. When he saw my bike he said, oh man, I'd love one of those......I said 'so buy one', the people I bought mine from have another in silver.....Know what his answer was? Nope. Wife won't let him. I mentioned it to her when he was off doing something she said "no, he can't, we need a better car, might buy a bigger house, we're going to have a baby, etc etc etc" I thought...."sucker" lol..there but by the grace of god go I............

 

[tboy]

Hate to break your bubble but there is no Ms Right or Mr Right.:no:
You make your life the way YOU want it and the decisions are how you make them. So I am sick and tired of people wining how their lives sucks etc. I have disappointments too but I move on, I use them as a learning experience.

Shit if everybody was looking for Mr Right and Ms Right there will be no humans. What is Right when you married or are going to marrying them, will become,if you let it, Mr Wrong and Mrs Wrong later on in the marriage. We all have faults and everybody has choices but it is how you look at life that makes a difference.

Ok I am done:neutral:

No, there'd be LESS humans and LESS pollution, over population, broken homes, broken marriages, fatherless children, etc etc etc.

If people were just a little more selective on who they hooked up with a shitload of the world's problems would vanish......(or be nonexistant).

As for a marriage becoming Mr or Mrs Wrong, then no, they aren't or weren't Mr or Mrs Right. Sure people change, a little, but the same basic core values don't change. It's not like someone changes into an alcoholic, either you are or you aren't. Same as a drug addict, either you are or you aren't the type to get addicted to drugs. I know I'll never be because I don't do them...period.

As for changing jobs or whatever, nope, Mr Right wouldnt' take the new job in zimbabwe and make you choose to go or not. Mr Right won't cheat on you. Mr Right won't choose you over the boys.

BTW: if you have to "work" at it, you shouldn't be there....that's the way I feel.....

 

[blissful]

tboy, you have to work at any relationship. Even mom and daughters, dads and sons, work relationships etc

I guess you live in Utopia or read too much Romance Novels. When it comes to work you go where you are needed, in this day and age. If it is to the Amazon, you go so you are not taking welfare.
You sound more of a loner than anything, to scare too love too scare to be hurt too scare to explore. I enjoy everything that comes my way, I try my hardest to live life to the fullest even if I am hurt and by the way I get hurt and learn from it.

Life is to be used. So I am sorry I am using my life to the fullest and yes I enjoy even the painful part because they make the happiness parts more happier. I think I have reach my Zen:happy:

Thank You tboy for making me see how lucky my life is and reaching Zen today.

 

[tboy]

Once again you try and put me down for my choices.....Bliss? stop it....I'm not afraid to be hurt, not afraid to love, I just won't love anything that comes my way...what part of that don't you get?

Tap tap tap, is this thing on?

you reached your "zen" your way, I reached it mine. I live MY life the way I want to, if you have to fight and work at every relationship you have, I'd take a good good long hard look at who you're involved with because not every relationship requires work. If it does? There is something seriously wrong with it. If you're working at your relationships/friendships/family that is an indicator that you are one of those people who can't stand to be by themselves. if you could stand it? you wouldn't be working to keep people around you that require that "work". Friendships are effortless, either you are or you aren't. Anyone I consider my friend requires NO work whatsoever in any way shape or form......

But then again, you probably call the guy who pumps your gas, your friend. The woman who works at the variety store where you buy your milk, your friend. Me? I'd have no qualms at giving a "friend" my PIN number and a copy of my bank card......

Work is work and life is life, one doesn't have to "work" at life or "work" at being happy....

You see, if I meet someone (like you) who wants to be my friend yet DEMANDS that I work at it? I bail. I walk. I move on. Life is too short to have to work at being someone's friend. You see, a LONG time ago I saw a therapist. The number one thing he stressed? Life is too short. There is nothing wrong with walking away from any situation or person who might be determental to my health or happiness. If I encounter someone who makes me unhappy? avoid them. Sounds like YOU should be taking that advice!!!

 

[blissful]

I feel sorry for you really, because in life, people are bound to make people unhappy. I am not putting you down really. I am just now concern for you. If that is how you think. You must be avoiding a lot of people.

I suffer from Fibromylgia I have 17 0f the 18 points, I am not to have stress because it causes more chronic pain for me, but I am not going to hide away from life. Some of the people in my live that has caused me extreme pain are the ones I have learned a lot from and are in my heart. I realize that avoidance to people does not make you live. OMG if I took your reasoning and every time somebody stress me out I got rid of them well I would be lonely.

tboy, I am no one and what I write is just as somebody told me , releasing my soul and not for anybody really. So I am is pain for you really because I feel very sad for you. Even in all my pain I search for my Zen and I found it with you. I am sorry if I make you free stress or unhappy or you feel I put you down that is not how I mean it. I just like learning and growing and figuring out all there is to life, good, bad and the ugly.

 

[tboy]

Once again you are off the rails.....Yes I avoid a lot of people because they aren't worth the time nor the effort and who wants to deal with someone's issues when they can't even deal with them themselves? If someone exhibits self destructive behaviour, carries cocaine on an airplane for an international flight for example, do I want to be around them? HELL NO. I'm not geing to be arrested or detained because of someone else's weakness or stupidity. Another example is hanging around with someone who would rob a variety store when you pulled over to buy some smokes. Do you want to be around them? HELL no (if you do then that's your business).

Another example is a habitual liar. If you can't trust them why would ANYONE want to be associated with them? I sure as hell wouldn't. I want to be around like minded, law abiding, cheerful people whose lives are in order and are generally "good" people. People I consider my friends are ones who know they can call me up at 3 am and no matter where they are, I'd hop in my car and go get em. Just as they'd do the same for me.

Now when I say I don't deal with their issues, I don't mean if one of them got sick or laid off for example. I'd be there for them but I don't consider that 'work'. But if someone has a psychosis where they are habitual theives, liars, drug users or crack heads? Do I want to be around them? NO. There are too many great people in this world to be drawn down into their cesspool.

Please, save your sorrow for those that deserve it. There are plenty of kids born into poverty, orphans, single moms who have nothing, and no way out. Go feel sorry for them because it's wasted on me. I'm perfectly happy with my life, in fact, sometimes I have to stop and wonder if I could BE any happier......