CT, thank you for your eloquent and well though out....thoughts
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It's been a rocky road for me. Personally, I've been single for 6 years going on 7. I've tried to date a couple of civilians but as discussed on the board, I've ruined myself by seeing some of the most attractive and sexually charged females within my reach. I don't have any intention of putting any effort in to having a permanent or singular relationship in the real world. I'm also not mentally capable of handling one. I get bored easy but I do like familiarity. This is where the lady in question lies.
There was one point where I would have (and actively pursued) lady in question for a more real relationship. She assured me (again) she was not ready at this time in her life to have anything permanent. She enjoys being an SP when clients are good. She hates having to compromise and lie to her family of where she's going and what she's doing when she travels here, but then again, she's an adult and she doesn't need permission (as she tells me). I wonder if she really realizes collateral damage...who knows, but I've pointed it out; that is, not to steer her out of this lifestyle or to "save" her, just need her to understand that this industry is not victimless.
I understand that we've crossed the line in many ways. The fact that her family and friends know of me and wonder how we met (she's told them we met at an art gallery and had the same tastes...which we actually do and have been to the AGO numerous times). I was supposed to be out her way for business during a family reunion of hers and she asked me to come by, but my trip got cancelled. That would've been interesting....
She has spent weekends with me and has met my son and daughter; they see her pics on my phone and hear me talking to her all the time. It was gradual in the introduction but my kids said they would like to meet her and she was okay with that as well. I even sought permission from their mother. "Daddy's girlfriend" they call her. I assure them we are just friends. She's not stayed overnight when they are visiting. I won't cross that line.
The lady in question (if you haven't guessed) is Madeline of TDL; formerly Eve of SFT. I know some of you have seen her. It's a little weird, but it is what it is. She was a workhorse at SFT and would often text me in to the early hours of the morning telling me she was still working outcalls. She would tell them no more, but they would book her again and again. They would regularly book her 8-12 clients per day without any input from her; she would sometimes only get 4 hours of sleep. She was afraid to leave because Misha is a little intimidating. This might all be a sob story but she never asked or hinted about money or a hand out. And I can say with all honesty, that she wants to earn her keep, not have it given to her...maybe its my blinders speaking though.
I pushed for her to go with Liz at TDL after getting to know Liz and Don, I thought she would be a good fit there. She likes the fact that she sets her own hours and has most nights off if she chooses and gets to tour the city or do things with me. We spoke last night as we often do and it's a very easy conversation that we have. Rarely do we get in to industry talk. It's more about her day, my day, our business together, improvements on it etc etc... I did comment to her last night that we have what we have for now and I'm just enjoying the time as it exists. When it ends, I'll be sad, but i know it will eventually, so let's just have some fun.
CT, I appreciate the respect. I have the same with Mammo with Valencia as well as Muck with Rebecca...I will not book them.
We're a complicated bunch, aren't we? We have our civilian persona's. We have our A-Team persona's to our brethren. We have our board and social media persona's. But really, it's just one complicated personality.
