How many of you have gone through a divorce?.

[Dalmore64]

My brother who has two beautiful 3 and 5 year old boys just told me he is leaving his wife. A shocker for me as I thought they were made for each other. He tried to borrow money from me to take his mistress to a hotel 4 months ago. I told him no, that is so wrong and to try to make it work. He listened to my advice only because his wife was suspicious and couldn't live with so many Skeletons in his closet. Plus his wife was the bread-maker. Yes I know he sounds like a wannabe but he is really a nice guy.

To make this story long all I want to convey to all is that leave the children alone. If you marry and plan to have kids, suck it up as the excitement drives away after you have kids.

I am happy with my second wife. Not a euphoric feeling but content enough to spend the rest of my life with her.

Guys the grass is not always greener on the other side. Keep what you have even if it's boring. But to add, if you are unhappy then that is another issue.



I just feel so bad that their kids have to suffer and be without their daily parents.

Hope this makes sense to all.

 

[DonCorleo]

Another male that thinks with the little head.

 

[Wise Guy]

Your brother needs a wake up call.

 

[Chivas/Neat]

A subject that can be discussed forever. Bottom line It's the kids that suffer from adult's insecurity and selfishness.

 

[hobnew]

Really.... what a great example he is setting if the kids ever found out. :don'twantto-see:/

Thankfully my exes were kind enough to screw me over proper, prior to things getting serious. Thus no marriage, no divorce. :good:

 

[tboy]

^^^^ lol as odd as that sounds you were lucky.....I mean, to feel onself to be "lucky" to be screwed over.....I"m humming that song from monty python: always look on the bright, side of life....dodooo dodoo dodoodoodoodooo.........

I hear two guys at work always bitching about their psycho wives and always think to myself: there but by the grace of god go I.....never married whew, dodged the bullet there!

 

[SillyGirl]

Staying together for the sake of the kids can work, if the adults are actually adult enough to keep the atmosphere in the home civil and pleasant.

My own parents were not well-suited. On a good day, the atmosphere in the house was tense. On a bad day it was outright hostile. When I was young I remember praying every night that they would divorce. They never did. I got in a lot of trouble and did a lot of things because I would go anywhere and do anything just to not go home.

I think that's why when I had my own family, it was really important to me that the household be peaceful. And for the most part it was, and I'm glad for that, even though in retrospect I can clearly see that keeping the peace meant I kept my mouth shut a lot of times when I shouldn't have. I'm sure my ex did as well.

In the event of a divorce I think there is one rule that goes a long way to keeping the kids emotionally healthy: never trash talk about your ex in front of them. Especially if the kids are young. My own son was almost 18 when we split up, and Ex and I still agreed to this rule. I have abided by it, and I hope he has as well. Both of a child's parents are part of them, and to insult the parent is an insult to the child too.

I know someone whose children were about 4 and 2 when she divorced...in the decade+ since, she and her ex have not missed an opportunity to say something nasty about each other. And I mean things like her thinking it was hilarious to pick the kids up from their father's house and spend the car ride home getting them chanting "Daddy's an asshole!" Now that the kids are teenagers, she and her ex hold each other completely responsible for the fact that their kids are fucked-up, and consider themselves completely blameless. Neither of them chose to act like a grown-up for the sake of their children, and that's just damn pathetic.

 

[HOF]

My brother who has two beautiful 3 and 5 year old boys just told me he is leaving his wife. A shocker for me as I thought they were made for each other. He tried to borrow money from me to take his mistress to a hotel 4 months ago. I told him no, that is so wrong and to try to make it work. He listened to my advice only because his wife was suspicious and couldn't live with so many Skeletons in his closet. Plus his wife was the bread-maker. Yes I know he sounds like a wannabe but he is really a nice guy.

To make this story long all I want to convey to all is that leave the children alone. If you marry and plan to have kids, suck it up as the excitement drives away after you have kids.

I am happy with my second wife. Not a euphoric feeling but content enough to spend the rest of my life with her.

Guys the grass is not always greener on the other side. Keep what you have even if it's boring. But to add, if you are unhappy then that is another issue.



I just feel so bad that their kids have to suffer and be without their daily parents.

Hope this makes sense to all.

Are you sure that you are happy? Why are you here if you are content?

Your brother has a mistress and you would not support his behaviour which I applaud on your part.

The problem is whether he leaves or stays the children could be hurt if/when they find out. Can you imagine the tension in a house with no feeling or love between the parents. Children are not stupid. People can and do fall out of love, sad but true. If he is cheating now, he will continue and that is extremely hurtful to his spouse and the impression left on his two sons and how they may believe women should be treated and how the family unit does or doesn't work.

 

[tboy]

Staying together for the sake of the kids can work, if the adults are actually adult enough to keep the atmosphere in the home civil and pleasant.

My own parents were not well-suited. On a good day, the atmosphere in the house was tense. On a bad day it was outright hostile. When I was young I remember praying every night that they would divorce. They never did. I got in a lot of trouble and did a lot of things because I would go anywhere and do anything just to not go home.

.

Sounds like we come from the same house although mine wasn't all bad but I agree, my parents should have divorced or separated 30 yrs ago. It took me a LONG time to get past what I learned from them on how a relationship should be. My brother (2 yrs older) still hasn't learned. I actually made an effort to find some of my exes to apologize to them for the way I treated them (how my parents treated each other).

The sad part is only when my dad threw in the towel and became my mother's slave did the tensions ease......

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I am happy with my second wife. Not a euphoric feeling but content enough to spend the rest of my life with her.Hope this makes sense to all.

A happily married man on here is a rare find.

 

[hobnew]

A happily married man on here is a rare find.

Yup.
Sorry to say, if by some off chance I finally meet a girl who doesn't screw me over significantly in some way, makes an honest man outta me, I'd disappear from all "adult oriented" sites.

 

[God]

Yup.
Sorry to say, if by some off chance I finally meet a girl who doesn't screw me over significantly in some way, makes an honest man outta me, I'd disappear from all "adult oriented" sites.

Tell her you are rich. Works all the time.

 

[Jawbone]

Married men want to be single and single men wish they had someone special by their side. I'm single and don't want anyone telling me what to do and not to do. I've watched countless numbers of good friends get married and wish they can go back and undo the marriage, this goes both ways, men and women.

 

[FineWineDiva]

Your heart in the right place ! I don't blame you at all , she's the bread winner , & he wants to borrow money to get hotel room for him & mistress.
I think he needs to worry about money to provide for kids , not his dick
Sounds to me she is better of with out him , you seem to have good heart .On that note , perhaps you take that amazing heart of your & just be a great Uncle to those kids and a good role model

 

[HOF]

Married men want to be single and single men wish they had someone special by their side. I'm single and don't want anyone telling me what to do and not to do. I've watched countless numbers of good friends get married and wish they can go back and undo the marriage, this goes both ways, men and women.

Not me! I've got a dog and money by the hour!

 

[Blank_Dave]

Not something I ever have to worry about.