'I live in a sexless marriage' a hot topic of discussion

[Rock]

What if you and your spouse love each other, but there is no sex in your marriage? Do you stay or do you go? How long do you try?

Maryanne lived in a sexless marriage for 12 years and by the end of it she started to think that if her doctor told her that she had six months to live, that would be all right.

 

[ChrisD]

Long live our Escorts Who cares if you have sexless marriage, actually its a good thing, you have your valid reason to go see more SPs

 

[tboy]

not to drag issues from "the other board" over to this one, but this following paragraph sums up succintly what I've been pointing out is wrong with toronto women...

"To be consistently rejected sexually strikes at the core of our being,” Trainor says. “We question our attractiveness and it affects our self-esteem. It is difficult not to take it personally.”

Which brings up a possible reason most women never attempt to make the first move.....

"How do you know the situation won’t get better?” one asks", well it won't get better until you discuss it. If the other party isn't interested in discussing it, or getting help, then, as I always have advised, one should leave the marriage.

Sure, some will say that's shallow, a relationship isn't only about sex, but a physical relationship is 33 1/3 of the relationship. If that is missing, then that's a LOT.......

 

[Melike_pussy]

“There is a myth in our society that men should know how to turn their partner on,” says Trainor.
But a man may not want to take direction from his partner. Over time women in such relationships can grow to feel resentful that their sexual needs are not being met. They give up and begin avoiding sex.

“On the other hand, the man may be encouraging his partner to be forthcoming about what she wants and she may think it is his responsibility to figure it out. This puts a lot of pressure on her partner,” says Trainor.

A no win situation if you ask me.

 

[Beenthere123]

not to drag issues from "the other board" over to this one, but this following paragraph sums up succintly what I've been pointing out is wrong with toronto women...

"To be consistently rejected sexually strikes at the core of our being,” Trainor says. “We question our attractiveness and it affects our self-esteem. It is difficult not to take it personally.”

Which brings up a possible reason most women never attempt to make the first move.....

"How do you know the situation won’t get better?” one asks", well it won't get better until you discuss it. If the other party isn't interested in discussing it, or getting help, then, as I always have advised, one should leave the marriage.

Sure, some will say that's shallow, a relationship isn't only about sex, but a physical relationship is 33 1/3 of the relationship. If that is missing, then that's a LOT.......

Great points tboy not much more to add from this white boy.

 

[SillyGirl]

It hurts my fingers a little to type this, but I agree with Tboy on this one.

I don't see the point in a sexless marriage at all. Without Heat, it's just a business deal.

 

[JohnFK]

Great points lady and gents.

 

[athaire]

Without Heat, it's just a business deal.

Quoted for truth

 

[SillyGirl]

Topical thread for me.

I love my wife and she is probably my best friend.

Our marriage,however has been essentially sexless for the past year. As she put it, we're great roomates but it doesn't go much beyond that. As a result, no matter how much we like being together, we are talking about being separated. I guess you can be great partners,but there's no denying that sex is the glue.

What a difficult situation....sorry....splitting up is so hard when you still care about each other.

 

[mistermello]

Another scenario

Another scenario

What a difficult situation....sorry....splitting up is so hard when you still care about each other.

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

 

[SillyGirl]

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

Kudos to you for doing the right thing.

I think I was a little flip before when I said that about Heat. I didn't stop to think about medical situations, that was wrong of me, sorry.

I also didn't stop to think about those situations where there's no sex, but both people are okay with that. I don't really know of any of those, but I've heard it happens.

 

[HOF]

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

Very sorry to hear this, and you're a stand up guy. Relationships are not all about sex.

 

[tboy]

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

As I've always said, there are situations where playing is accetable. As much as it would hurt your wife to know she can no longer pleasure you and you have to go outside to get sum, this is one of this situations where it is understandable.

To Olayda:

Have you sought professional help? Sometimes it takes an outsider to help point out the true underlying problems and maybe with a little bit of work, the marriage can be salvageable?

 

[smylee52]

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

Loyalty is it's own reward . Sorry for your wife's illness but glad to here you have made the choice that will serve both you and your wife well in the years to come.

 

[RAWD]

Then again, the cold reality is that, sometimes, marriage is a business transaction. A financial arrangement, or a partnership of mutual convenience.

 

[mistermello]

Kudos to you for doing the right thing.

I think I was a little flip before when I said that about Heat. I didn't stop to think about medical situations, that was wrong of me, sorry.

I also didn't stop to think about those situations where there's no sex, but both people are okay with that. I don't really know of any of those, but I've heard it happens.

No apology needed. We all take a lot for granted in life and these kinds of situations don't occur to us until we are faced with them or know someone who is.

 

[SillyGirl]

No apology needed. We all take a lot for granted in life and these kinds of situations don't occur to us until we are faced with them or know someone who is.

You're so right...it's important to try not to take things for granted.

Then again, the cold reality is that, sometimes, marriage is a business transaction. A financial arrangement, or a partnership of mutual convenience.

I can see how that could work as long as both people are truly on the same page about it. It's not the kind of marriage I'd want.

Actually there is no kind of marriage I want anymore.

 

[JohnFK]

My wife has a chronic and progressive illness that has greatly impaired her mobility to a point where she is wheelchair bound and needs 24 hour a day caregiving. We are lucky to be able to afford to pay for it for 9 hours a day. Evenings and weekends are my shifts. Cognatively she is perfectly OK but life is tough for both of us and of course, there is no sex. But we have been together a long time. I didn't sign up for this but shit happens and I don't do abandonment. I like to be able to look in the mirror and like who I see. A little hobbying makes all this easier to take. I'm sure there are many others in my boat.

God bless you (and your wife) Mistermello.

 

[JohnFK]

Hmmmm well I lived in a sexless marriage for years and finally ended it a few months ago ...only regret ...I didn't do it sooner ...oh and notice the lack of reviews the last few months ...hmmm go figure

Lot of gorgeous women at the opera my friend

(Or take one as your date - quite impressive).

 

[SillyGirl]

Then again, the cold reality is that, sometimes, marriage is a business transaction. A financial arrangement, or a partnership of mutual convenience.

And no matter how lovey-dovey and sincere a marriage might start out, when it falls apart you realize how much of a business transaction it really is.

It's time-consuming, expensive, and oh-so-frustrating disentangling the legal entity...can't wait for it to be over.