If God Exists..

[speedy]

..why doesn't he tell us. Maybe I'm being skeptical here, but when you have millions of people divided all over the world over something so unsure as religion it seems ridiculous. If I died right now and there was a heaven and God and all that, it would be the first question I would ask. In fact, I would be angry at a God who could intervene on this earth with a miracle to stop the religious wars but chooses not to.

 

[Brad Pitt]

Hi, Im God.

Look, i'm female OK, so stop calling me 'he'. Also, I'm kind of mixed 'race', which is a term you monkeys use to note your differences but which concerns me not. So enough with the old white guy with a long beard thing. Also, in case you hadn't noticed, i got a whole fucking Universe to deal with, so why in fucks name would i really care about what is happening with you and your twitter account? I dont 'intervene' not because i dont care, but just because im really really really busy. Besides, i gave you monkeys free will and a brain, so im kind of expecting that you will figure out yourselves not to kill each other and shit, whether its over religion or which SP you like best or whatever. Ya gotta stop holding out for me to hold your hand, dude.

But anyway, im looking forward to seeing you when you die, and if you really love me enough to get here sooner then O fucking K, do what u gotta do. But just so you know, when you do get here, I'm really really really busy, and might not have alot of time to shoot the shit with you about your crisis of faith before you died.

Peace, dude. And just remember, I'm not judging you, because i'm really really really busy and you just don't matter that much when Ive got a Universe to run.

 

[BigAbe]

Hi, Im God.

Look, i'm female OK, so stop calling me 'he'. Also, I'm kind of mixed 'race', which is a term you monkeys use to note your differences but which concerns me not. So enough with the old white guy with a long beard thing. Also, in case you hadn't noticed, i got a whole fucking Universe to deal with, so why in fucks name would i really care about what is happening with you and your twitter account? I dont 'intervene' not because i dont care, but just because im really really really busy. Besides, i gave you monkeys free will and a brain, so im kind of expecting that you will figure out yourselves not to kill each other and shit, whether its over religion or which SP you like best or whatever. Ya gotta stop holding out for me to hold your hand, dude.

But anyway, im looking forward to seeing you when you die, and if you really love me enough to get here sooner then O fucking K, do what u gotta do. But just so you know, when you do get here, I'm really really really busy, and might not have alot of time to shoot the shit with you about your crisis of faith before you died.

Peace, dude. And just remember, I'm not judging you, because i'm really really really busy and you just don't matter that much when Ive got a Universe to run.

Thought God is a black man