crackerjack
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2009
- Messages
- 135
And another morn down on the farm finds me spread-eagled in bed, admiring “His Royal Majesty” (aka Lil’Head) in fine form at full staff. Not one to waste a perfectly good hard on,,,, decided against summoning “She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed” but opted to fetch me trousers and smuggle this one into town. Since the boy and I were feeling ripe and randy we decided it was high time to get the horn scraped. Gave the boy the green light and his pick of Maximum’s Triple-X litter. Did the prerequisite board search sleuthing out our intended victim only to uncover some rather disconcerting reviews,,,hmmmm. Like a horney toad,,,,threw caution to the wind and poo-poo’d them off. Once againnnnnnn,,,,,,,it was off on another testosterone charged rendezvous with destiny,,,,,errr,,,,,I mean Mary.
A quick rap to the door of the Sin Bin and it magically opens,,,,revealing Mary,,,THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD! Ok,,,,Ok,,,,,a bit melodramatic but she was so damn pretty. So much so,,,,Lil’Head nearly soaked the Stanfields. Attempted to utter something intelligible but was so phuck-struck with her beauty the best I could muster was “BLAH”,,,,,”BLAH, BLAH, BLAH”. And after that intellectual introduction I beat a red-faced hasty retreat to the loo. Couldn’t get outta the clothes and shower fast enough. Made a bee-line back to the room to find my lovely draped across the sheets with “Cum-Phuck-Me” aplomb.
Attempted more small talk in vain. Moved in for the DFK kill but she resisted,,,,preferring LK only. Spidey sense started tingling as I could tell she was not as enthusiastic,,,rather hesitant. Managed to slipped her outta the Vic Secret’s attire and for the first time I got to see her form completely in the raw.
AND WHAT A VISION!
Spent considerable time exploring her vixen flesh. Applied plenty of nibbling touches to her breasts and nipples. Unfortunately,,,,had a devil of a time trying to get them erect. No matter.,,,,time for other pervert hijinks down at the (Y). Slipped a hand along her inner thighs,,,,,totally amazed at how creamy they felt. Even the lad was starting to break a sweat. The naughty fingers happened to “accidentally” slip, flip-flop, stumble,,,,,landing directly on her crotch. Didn’t receive a smack across the chops,,,,so I allowed their untethered fondling to go unchecked,,,,,applying some lengthy but soft digital encouragement. Her accompanying juiciness heightened the moment and as I slipped some tongue southward,,,,, over her navel, pubes, kitty lips, stopping only to munch on the girly niblets,,,,that’s when she hit the BIG O-ATHON producing vocals which were music to my ears.
My turn! Heeeheee.
With Lil’Head nearly popping rivets, drooling and slobbering it was time to slap the cock wrap to the boy. With an ass built for doggy,,,,flipped her onto all fours,,,,,sssssllllloooowwwwllly inserted the boy,,,,,all the while stroking her engorged plum,,,, then severly pummelled her cum dumpster with high-5 tenacity. And with an aroma of burning latex filling the air,,,,,,,,,,,I came HARD!,,,,,I came FAST! Almost tore myself a new asshole.
PHUCK!!! That’s gonna hurt in the morning
Gentlemen,,,,,,By the numbers:
Face: 9
Without a shred of doubt,,,,, the prettiest goddess like creature I have ever cram the ham into. I was faced with a girl with a face of unspeakable beauty -- soft facial features with dark liquid orb shaped eyes, slight bee-stung lips, small button nose framed with long wavy black hair that reached for the crack in her ass. A head turning Siren with an incredibly captivating smile that made my knees go all wobbly and left me ssss-tttuutterr-rring hours later.
Body: 9
SWEEEET JAZSUS!!! THEY ACTUALLY BUILD WOMEN LIKE THIS!!!
This girl is built hotter than a tailpipe on an '09 Ferrari! A chick with a perfect figure-8 figure. When the clothes came off,,,,,Lil’Head uttered an audible gasp! Needless to say I too was thunder f*%ck struck with her “in heels” statuesque presence and exotic looks. Staring at her like a proper slack-jawed gawker, I put her at a noteworthy 5’5” (outta heels), 120ish lbs 20-22 yrs young, all toned Barbie Doll facsimile. Happy to report a lack of piercings or the usual distasteful assortment of tattoos defacing her lovely physique. An exceptionally ass-tastic ass was noted too. Firm, grope-able without any hint of that cottage cheese dimpling. All tight corners wedged into an hourglass feminine flesh of perfection.
AND TALK ABOUT BBBBBREASTS!!!!
She sported a healthy pair of Holstein sized au naturale D-cuppers that defy the gods of gravity. Perfectly sculpted by the hands of some divinity imho. So pert the “twins” almost leapt from her chest. Firm, dare-ya-to touch, ski-slope, ground-defying gazongas - whether she was standing, lying or cavorting about they simply never flinched. Boob connoisseur that I be,,, I could write an entire review strictly on her TITTIES but will spare you the horney agony.
An incredibly proportioned female by any regards (pphheww!,,,,,think I may need a towel here).
Personality: 7
In a word: pleasant. Rated her lower though primarily due to her lack of passionate engagement. A courteous but reserved chick - perhaps a touch introverted or intentional – hard to say. One who tended not to reveal much about herself, the weather, life, etc which made for awkward forced pillow talk at the best of times.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 6
Have to say it wasn’t a life altering experience. Actually mildly disappointing(groan!). After seeing her pics on the website the boy and I had thoughts of GFE/PSE delights dancing in our heads. Won’t find passion or intensity on her resume. Her fervor was rather lackluster as she seemed to be holding back, stalled out,,,,coasting through our encounter. Felt like I was making most of the effort to engage her mind and body.
Facilities: 8.5
High class hotel in the downtown of our fair city offering top notch “phucking” facilities. An accoutrement of large fluffy towels was on hand, cleanly shower amenities; ie, no butt fuzz left behind in the tub. But suspicious maids were found gawking in the corridors. (Hate it when they give me and the boy the evil eye).
Losses:
A wallet phucking $160.00 for the half hour. Way overpriced for session rendered imho. Now, I normally don’t chuck that many sheckles – after all it’s just sex – but those BBBBREASTSSSS!!!
Repeat:
Have since revisited hoping a second encounter would find GFE improvements. WWWrong! Ironically and in spite of being totally smitten by her rare beauty,,,,no further repeats will be forthcoming(sigh!). Truth be known I have encountered $120 girls offering sweeter sessions.
Closing Arguments:
And after the dirty deed was done,,,,,there I lie in her bed,,,, beside this “9” ,,,,with nothing else to quibble over, discuss, share when this burning question dawns on me,,,,,
Why is an SP’s looks inversely proportional to her performance? I have traded spit with 6’s who have offered sexual earth moving feats on the scale of biblical proportions,,,,,and shared DNA with 9’s who dished nothing but that gawd awful “holier-than-thou fembot attitude”. HHmmppff,,,funny world.
Have to admit the boy and I went in with blistering gonad charged sexpectations blinding all mortal sensibilities. In essence it was a no hits, no runs, no errors type session with a Cover Girl offering sex at arms length. No question she's a sweet girl but,,,,,Hhhmmm,,, that “tingling chemistry with a fantasy girlfriend” simply did not materialize. Woe is me. If she put even a hint of pizzazz into her sessions this girl would go ballistic,,,,rivaling some of the top ladies in the underworld. Can only assume she is content to get by on her many physical blessings,,,, able to draw enough “pecker traffic” to pay the bills.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good Day and Good Farmin’
A quick rap to the door of the Sin Bin and it magically opens,,,,revealing Mary,,,THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD! Ok,,,,Ok,,,,,a bit melodramatic but she was so damn pretty. So much so,,,,Lil’Head nearly soaked the Stanfields. Attempted to utter something intelligible but was so phuck-struck with her beauty the best I could muster was “BLAH”,,,,,”BLAH, BLAH, BLAH”. And after that intellectual introduction I beat a red-faced hasty retreat to the loo. Couldn’t get outta the clothes and shower fast enough. Made a bee-line back to the room to find my lovely draped across the sheets with “Cum-Phuck-Me” aplomb.
Attempted more small talk in vain. Moved in for the DFK kill but she resisted,,,,preferring LK only. Spidey sense started tingling as I could tell she was not as enthusiastic,,,rather hesitant. Managed to slipped her outta the Vic Secret’s attire and for the first time I got to see her form completely in the raw.
AND WHAT A VISION!
Spent considerable time exploring her vixen flesh. Applied plenty of nibbling touches to her breasts and nipples. Unfortunately,,,,had a devil of a time trying to get them erect. No matter.,,,,time for other pervert hijinks down at the (Y). Slipped a hand along her inner thighs,,,,,totally amazed at how creamy they felt. Even the lad was starting to break a sweat. The naughty fingers happened to “accidentally” slip, flip-flop, stumble,,,,,landing directly on her crotch. Didn’t receive a smack across the chops,,,,so I allowed their untethered fondling to go unchecked,,,,,applying some lengthy but soft digital encouragement. Her accompanying juiciness heightened the moment and as I slipped some tongue southward,,,,, over her navel, pubes, kitty lips, stopping only to munch on the girly niblets,,,,that’s when she hit the BIG O-ATHON producing vocals which were music to my ears.
My turn! Heeeheee.
With Lil’Head nearly popping rivets, drooling and slobbering it was time to slap the cock wrap to the boy. With an ass built for doggy,,,,flipped her onto all fours,,,,,sssssllllloooowwwwllly inserted the boy,,,,,all the while stroking her engorged plum,,,, then severly pummelled her cum dumpster with high-5 tenacity. And with an aroma of burning latex filling the air,,,,,,,,,,,I came HARD!,,,,,I came FAST! Almost tore myself a new asshole.
PHUCK!!! That’s gonna hurt in the morning
Gentlemen,,,,,,By the numbers:
Face: 9
Without a shred of doubt,,,,, the prettiest goddess like creature I have ever cram the ham into. I was faced with a girl with a face of unspeakable beauty -- soft facial features with dark liquid orb shaped eyes, slight bee-stung lips, small button nose framed with long wavy black hair that reached for the crack in her ass. A head turning Siren with an incredibly captivating smile that made my knees go all wobbly and left me ssss-tttuutterr-rring hours later.
Body: 9
SWEEEET JAZSUS!!! THEY ACTUALLY BUILD WOMEN LIKE THIS!!!
This girl is built hotter than a tailpipe on an '09 Ferrari! A chick with a perfect figure-8 figure. When the clothes came off,,,,,Lil’Head uttered an audible gasp! Needless to say I too was thunder f*%ck struck with her “in heels” statuesque presence and exotic looks. Staring at her like a proper slack-jawed gawker, I put her at a noteworthy 5’5” (outta heels), 120ish lbs 20-22 yrs young, all toned Barbie Doll facsimile. Happy to report a lack of piercings or the usual distasteful assortment of tattoos defacing her lovely physique. An exceptionally ass-tastic ass was noted too. Firm, grope-able without any hint of that cottage cheese dimpling. All tight corners wedged into an hourglass feminine flesh of perfection.
AND TALK ABOUT BBBBBREASTS!!!!
She sported a healthy pair of Holstein sized au naturale D-cuppers that defy the gods of gravity. Perfectly sculpted by the hands of some divinity imho. So pert the “twins” almost leapt from her chest. Firm, dare-ya-to touch, ski-slope, ground-defying gazongas - whether she was standing, lying or cavorting about they simply never flinched. Boob connoisseur that I be,,, I could write an entire review strictly on her TITTIES but will spare you the horney agony.
An incredibly proportioned female by any regards (pphheww!,,,,,think I may need a towel here).
Personality: 7
In a word: pleasant. Rated her lower though primarily due to her lack of passionate engagement. A courteous but reserved chick - perhaps a touch introverted or intentional – hard to say. One who tended not to reveal much about herself, the weather, life, etc which made for awkward forced pillow talk at the best of times.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 6
Have to say it wasn’t a life altering experience. Actually mildly disappointing(groan!). After seeing her pics on the website the boy and I had thoughts of GFE/PSE delights dancing in our heads. Won’t find passion or intensity on her resume. Her fervor was rather lackluster as she seemed to be holding back, stalled out,,,,coasting through our encounter. Felt like I was making most of the effort to engage her mind and body.
Facilities: 8.5
High class hotel in the downtown of our fair city offering top notch “phucking” facilities. An accoutrement of large fluffy towels was on hand, cleanly shower amenities; ie, no butt fuzz left behind in the tub. But suspicious maids were found gawking in the corridors. (Hate it when they give me and the boy the evil eye).
Losses:
A wallet phucking $160.00 for the half hour. Way overpriced for session rendered imho. Now, I normally don’t chuck that many sheckles – after all it’s just sex – but those BBBBREASTSSSS!!!
Repeat:
Have since revisited hoping a second encounter would find GFE improvements. WWWrong! Ironically and in spite of being totally smitten by her rare beauty,,,,no further repeats will be forthcoming(sigh!). Truth be known I have encountered $120 girls offering sweeter sessions.
Closing Arguments:
And after the dirty deed was done,,,,,there I lie in her bed,,,, beside this “9” ,,,,with nothing else to quibble over, discuss, share when this burning question dawns on me,,,,,
Why is an SP’s looks inversely proportional to her performance? I have traded spit with 6’s who have offered sexual earth moving feats on the scale of biblical proportions,,,,,and shared DNA with 9’s who dished nothing but that gawd awful “holier-than-thou fembot attitude”. HHmmppff,,,funny world.
Have to admit the boy and I went in with blistering gonad charged sexpectations blinding all mortal sensibilities. In essence it was a no hits, no runs, no errors type session with a Cover Girl offering sex at arms length. No question she's a sweet girl but,,,,,Hhhmmm,,, that “tingling chemistry with a fantasy girlfriend” simply did not materialize. Woe is me. If she put even a hint of pizzazz into her sessions this girl would go ballistic,,,,rivaling some of the top ladies in the underworld. Can only assume she is content to get by on her many physical blessings,,,, able to draw enough “pecker traffic” to pay the bills.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good Day and Good Farmin’
