Men that take selfies...

[bobistheowl]

I don't own a cell phone, nor a pair of shower shoes. I never said that was a picture of my dick. You all just assumed it.

And not one of you is taking notes.

 

[Captaincrunch]

“ERECTUS TROUSERIUS” or The Trouser Snake is the worlds most dangerous snake. Colour varies from pink to black. It’s fangless, average length 5 – 6 inches (although some are said to reach 8 inches depending on honesty of its owner) it appears usually in bedrooms attacking women in the mouth or lower abdominal area, its highly venomous spit can cause swelling lasting 9 months! Some mutant species are also known to attack men from behind!

 

[bobistheowl]

“ERECTUS TROUSERIUS” or The Trouser Snake is the worlds most dangerous snake. Colour varies from pink to black. It’s fangless, average length 5 – 6 inches (although some are said to reach 8 inches depending on honesty of its owner) it appears usually in bedrooms attacking women in the mouth or lower abdominal area, its highly venomous spit can cause swelling lasting 9 months! Some mutant species are also known to attack men from behind!

Some are longer than eight inches, this one, for example:



A genie must have had a hand in that one.

I did some amateur stand up comedy, 30-odd years ago. In in show, I zipped down my fly, and pulled out a huge rubber dildo, attached to a length of tubing with some duct tape, and the tubing was attached to a number of different coloured scarves, knotted together, like in a clown's routine, so about 20 feet came out of my zipper.

When I got to the last scarf, I had to pull hard, and some fake balls attached to the last scarf came out, and red food colouring started dripping down my legs, and pooling on the floor. The fake balls were attached to a cork, that plugged the food coloring bottle, which was taped to my leg. I had to pull hard on the fake balls to pull the cork out of the food colouring bottle.

That story is all bullshit, except the part about doing the amateur stand-up. The other part, In didn't do - yet.

 

[Louis XIV]

I don't own a cell phone, nor a pair of shower shoes.

Why would you? Precious little cellular reception to be had within your corrugated steel shack deep in the woods of the Ozark Mountains, and wearing shower shoes to the 'crick' down by 'holler' for the monthly ice water splash is simply not done. It's SIMPLY NOT DONE, I SAY!

Now, y'all best get back to skinnin' possums and thawin' chipmunks today. Saturday's stew ain't a gonna brew itself, now is it!?

 

[Madman]

Why would you? Precious little cellular reception to be had within your corrugated steel shack deep in the woods of the Ozark Mountains, and wearing shower shoes to the 'crick' down by 'holler' for the monthly ice water splash is simply not done. It's SIMPLY NOT DONE, I SAY!

Now, y'all best get back to skinnin' possums and thawin' chipmunks today. Saturday's stew ain't a gonna brew itself, now is it!?

I would love to fire my current chef, would you be interested in a job?

 

[User-E]

I never said that was a picture of my dick. You all just assumed it.

And not one of you is taking notes.

I take notes, and I didn't. There were two very obvious clues that it wasn't you.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

I take notes, and I didn't. There were two very obvious clues that it wasn't you.

The dirty grout lines in the tiles was a dead giveaway right?

 

[Leo]

Why did I open the second page Damn-Not too smart

 

[User-E]

Why did I open the second page Damn-Not too smart

You're addicted Leo. ;/Waving://

 

[bobistheowl]

I take notes, and I didn't. There were two very obvious clues that it wasn't you.

Maybe you were taking notes, but none of the guys were.

I don't know why you'd be taking notes on me, Sarah. I don't travel West, and I don't have erectile dysfunction, so I'd never have reason to employ you, as a casual labourer.


I just saw that selfie image in the same images results where I found the 'Russian Facebook' page with the guy that looks exactly like the picture one sees, if they click on Transient's signature line. It's in the "Post Anything" thread, Thursday, I think.

I didn't go looking for 'The Russian Transient', it was just one of the search results Yahoo! gave me, so I made a screen capture. Image 'search bots' make some strange associations sometimes.

Two clues that the guy in the selfie isn't me: That guy doesn't have blonde pubes. His feet are also smaller than size 13. I can't think of a third, that's obvious, based on information I've written online.

I actually only own two photographs of myself, and they're both on Ontario Health Cards. I know what I look like, if I need to check, and I left the older ones behind, when I had to move from an apartment on short notice, about 15 years ago.

At one time, I did have about fifteen recent, (then recent, late 80's/ early 90's), but they were all me photographed with with the featured performer at various strip clubs. On the ones that had a signature and inscription, they were all to "Jack".

"Jack Todd" was the name I gave to guys in strip clubs, if they wanted to stay in touch. I just gave them any valid 7 digit local phone number. I never say any of those guys again, but some of them included me, when they bought rounds of drinks, or a table dance for each of several guys.

 

[oldguyzer]

I actually only own two photographs of myself, and they're both on Ontario Mental Health Services cards. I know what I look like, if I need to check I look in the donkey's rear view mirror, and I left the older ones behind, when I had to move from an apartment on short notice to the Kingston Pen, about 15 years ago.

Fixed your post.

 

[oldguyzer]

I never said that was a picture of my dick. You all just knew I wished it was at least half that size.

Fixed your post.

 

[Bubba]

This is one looooooooooooong thread.

 

[papasmerf]

This is one looooooooooooong thread.

only if you actually read Bob's post.

Myself I print them and give them printed copies to my neighbor. He is paper training his puppy, seem the critter likes to shit all over Bob's musings.

 

[oldguyzer]

He is paper training his puppy, seem the critter likes to muse over Bob's shit.

Fixed your post.

 

[papasmerf]

Fixed your post.

:LMAO::LMAO:

 

[bobistheowl]

Why would you? Precious little cellular reception to be had within your corrugated steel shack deep in the woods of the Ozark Mountains, and wearing shower shoes to the 'crick' down by 'holler' for the monthly ice water splash is simply not done. It's SIMPLY NOT DONE, I SAY! Now, y'all best get back to skinnin' possums and thawin' chipmunks today. Saturday's stew ain't a gonna brew itself, now is it!?

Louis XIV will say just about anything to try to get a 'Likes' from oldguyzer.

I don't have a cell phone because I don't need one. I hardly ever use the phone for outgoing calls. I usually communicate with people face to face, in person, or by e-mail.

If I'm out of the house, I don't want people to be able to get in touch with me, I'm on my time, and if there's an emergency, they should call someone else. I'm busy being off the grid.

 

[oldguyzer]

If I'm out of the house, I don't want people to be able to get in touch with me, I'm on my time, and if there's an emergency, they should call someone else. I'm busy being an asshole.

Well said...

 

[User-E]

 

[User-E]

There was a horrible video online last week of a baby playing with a gun, putting it in her mouth, and 2 adults telling her to make 'pow, pow' shooting noises. The child has been taken into protective custody and the adults charged.