Cardinal Fang
Reviewer
- Joined
- May 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,717
*Walks in places soap box on floor and stands on it*
Hi there. I'm a newbie here so please feel free to verbally rape me for all the mistakes I'll make and don't forget to add in the odd "use the search function you asshat" every now and then. I've been on many discussion boards and I thought I'd try this for a change of pace. Place seems kinda cool and I'm really digging this contemporary vibe you guys got going with the paint job. Ok so my first review and please be gentle.
After being away from the Hobby for a while I decided to jump back in. I wanted something different so I watched the ads, read the posts and even yelled at my monitor when the lounge lizards mentioned my name in the “Whatever Happened To” threads. Having tried many women in the past I realized that body type and looks had very little to do with having a good time. In fact one of my worst experiences was with an SP that was highly rated and by all accounts drop dead physical attributes. I know YMMV but I don’t think it was necessary for her to ride me Cow Girl while grabbing my hands and manipulating them to make me hit myself in the face all the while getting me to say “you’re doing me a favour by having sex with me.” After the session I was told that she usually charges extra for that but that I got it for free because she especially disliked my lack of humor.
Not sure why but something about Molly’s attitude in her ads and twitter feeds interested me and there was something about her look in the pictures on her website. I finally decided to act and booked a time with her this past weekend. It was all set up through email which I appreciated. I arrived at the area of the City and called up. She picks up the call with warmth in her voice that can only be described as sexy and gives me the room number. She can easily charge 5.99 per minute with that voice. As I got to her floor and walked down the hall a thought went through my head. What if I misunderstood her room number and am on the wrong floor and about to knock on the wrong door. Yes….it has happened to me. So I knocked and then waited for the light click click of heals to approach the door. And it finally came. The door opened and I walked in and got a good glimpse of Molly in the attire I had requested. Wow. She looked like she jumped into her outfit and nearly missed. As I handed her my coat and she turned around to hang it up in the closet I let my mouth drop open and hit the floor and quickly picked it up before she turned around. Molly allowed me to jump in the shower to freshen up while she lay on the bed talking to me through the door I left open. While she talked I honest was trying to pay attention but all I could think of was the positions I wanted to be in with her and how I would eventually be reduced to a bubbling fool curled up in the corner of her room.
As I came to the bed I got a good view of the mirrors on the closet doors. They were used to provide a great view of the ring the action was to take place in. Ah yes mirrors. My arch enemy. I’d have to figure out a way to hide my Disney “Goofy” face if she looked back into them. She placed some music on and then carefully undressed and approached me on all fours across the bed. After a nice long make-out session she slowly worked her way down. As I stole a look into the mirror I couldn’t help but think I really hate Sade. Why does she like Sade? How can someone who looks and acts so cool actually like Sade? As I enjoyed the sensations that were running through my head she kept looking back at me which got me going. And then it happened. The one eyed little snake living in the nether regions decided to contact my lateral orbitofrontal cortex with the following message:
*Uh I don’t mean to alarm anyone but this feels so good and she’s doing such a bang up job I think I need to express my satisfaction.*
I panicked. I looked around the room to take my mind off of what was going on and caught the image in the mirror and then heard the following:
*Oh yeah….she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’m soooooooooooooooo done.*
I then did the one thing I’m truly embarrassed to admit and I hope I will never ever have to do again. I began lip-syncing to Sade’s music in my head.
*Shudders*
As bad as it sounds it had the effect I so hoped for. I quickly changed positions and we began to explore Newton’s 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] Law of Motion in all its various positions all the while looking at the mirror. It was farking great. Well, Molly looked great the way she moved while I made a mental note to have a mole looked at that I just noticed on my thigh. And then while I’m in the throes of a good rhythm, God in HER infinite wisdom and sick sense of humor throws in a leg cramp.
Really? I mean REALLY? COME ON….
After a little rest we commenced once more. It didn’t matter what position we were in and it didn’t matter how I thought I was the dominant one in that position Molly had a way of always letting you know she was in control. Yes I’m not afraid to admit I was her bitch and just along for the ride. I finally understood the Molly Effect. Right before I finished I thought to myself now would be a good time to let her know if I shout out a marriage proposal for her to just ignore it. Cue the rocket clearing the tower and the train going into the tunnel.
We rested for a bit as she and I enjoyed some wine talked about this and that as well as the dinner theatre that broke out when she attended an orgy the night before. Trust me….it actually makes sense. After a little more conversation and laughing we proceeded to round two. To be honest Molly proceeded to round two and I just tagged along for the ride and hoped to keep my arms in at all times. Highlights of which are as follows:
Just before I left we talked about threesomes and her experiences and who she would recommend as her partner. I left with a huge smile on my face and while I drove home all I could think about was how on earth I could feel the pedals of the car given my legs were made of jello. There was no way in hell I could do a duo with this women. I’d be the equivalent of a male Praying Mantis when it was all done. All the adjectives that have been used to describe this woman are true and I don’t know what I could possibly say that could add to it. I hate it that she is THAT GOOD and that she can get under my skin like this.
Thanks Molly.
*Falls off soap box*
Hi there. I'm a newbie here so please feel free to verbally rape me for all the mistakes I'll make and don't forget to add in the odd "use the search function you asshat" every now and then. I've been on many discussion boards and I thought I'd try this for a change of pace. Place seems kinda cool and I'm really digging this contemporary vibe you guys got going with the paint job. Ok so my first review and please be gentle.
After being away from the Hobby for a while I decided to jump back in. I wanted something different so I watched the ads, read the posts and even yelled at my monitor when the lounge lizards mentioned my name in the “Whatever Happened To” threads. Having tried many women in the past I realized that body type and looks had very little to do with having a good time. In fact one of my worst experiences was with an SP that was highly rated and by all accounts drop dead physical attributes. I know YMMV but I don’t think it was necessary for her to ride me Cow Girl while grabbing my hands and manipulating them to make me hit myself in the face all the while getting me to say “you’re doing me a favour by having sex with me.” After the session I was told that she usually charges extra for that but that I got it for free because she especially disliked my lack of humor.
Not sure why but something about Molly’s attitude in her ads and twitter feeds interested me and there was something about her look in the pictures on her website. I finally decided to act and booked a time with her this past weekend. It was all set up through email which I appreciated. I arrived at the area of the City and called up. She picks up the call with warmth in her voice that can only be described as sexy and gives me the room number. She can easily charge 5.99 per minute with that voice. As I got to her floor and walked down the hall a thought went through my head. What if I misunderstood her room number and am on the wrong floor and about to knock on the wrong door. Yes….it has happened to me. So I knocked and then waited for the light click click of heals to approach the door. And it finally came. The door opened and I walked in and got a good glimpse of Molly in the attire I had requested. Wow. She looked like she jumped into her outfit and nearly missed. As I handed her my coat and she turned around to hang it up in the closet I let my mouth drop open and hit the floor and quickly picked it up before she turned around. Molly allowed me to jump in the shower to freshen up while she lay on the bed talking to me through the door I left open. While she talked I honest was trying to pay attention but all I could think of was the positions I wanted to be in with her and how I would eventually be reduced to a bubbling fool curled up in the corner of her room.
As I came to the bed I got a good view of the mirrors on the closet doors. They were used to provide a great view of the ring the action was to take place in. Ah yes mirrors. My arch enemy. I’d have to figure out a way to hide my Disney “Goofy” face if she looked back into them. She placed some music on and then carefully undressed and approached me on all fours across the bed. After a nice long make-out session she slowly worked her way down. As I stole a look into the mirror I couldn’t help but think I really hate Sade. Why does she like Sade? How can someone who looks and acts so cool actually like Sade? As I enjoyed the sensations that were running through my head she kept looking back at me which got me going. And then it happened. The one eyed little snake living in the nether regions decided to contact my lateral orbitofrontal cortex with the following message:
*Uh I don’t mean to alarm anyone but this feels so good and she’s doing such a bang up job I think I need to express my satisfaction.*
I panicked. I looked around the room to take my mind off of what was going on and caught the image in the mirror and then heard the following:
*Oh yeah….she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’m soooooooooooooooo done.*
I then did the one thing I’m truly embarrassed to admit and I hope I will never ever have to do again. I began lip-syncing to Sade’s music in my head.
*Shudders*
As bad as it sounds it had the effect I so hoped for. I quickly changed positions and we began to explore Newton’s 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] Law of Motion in all its various positions all the while looking at the mirror. It was farking great. Well, Molly looked great the way she moved while I made a mental note to have a mole looked at that I just noticed on my thigh. And then while I’m in the throes of a good rhythm, God in HER infinite wisdom and sick sense of humor throws in a leg cramp.
Really? I mean REALLY? COME ON….
After a little rest we commenced once more. It didn’t matter what position we were in and it didn’t matter how I thought I was the dominant one in that position Molly had a way of always letting you know she was in control. Yes I’m not afraid to admit I was her bitch and just along for the ride. I finally understood the Molly Effect. Right before I finished I thought to myself now would be a good time to let her know if I shout out a marriage proposal for her to just ignore it. Cue the rocket clearing the tower and the train going into the tunnel.
We rested for a bit as she and I enjoyed some wine talked about this and that as well as the dinner theatre that broke out when she attended an orgy the night before. Trust me….it actually makes sense. After a little more conversation and laughing we proceeded to round two. To be honest Molly proceeded to round two and I just tagged along for the ride and hoped to keep my arms in at all times. Highlights of which are as follows:
- Lots of intense looks and kissing…
- Lots of heavy breathing and moaning…
- Lots of hands roaming and grasping all areas…
- Me struggling to find where on earth she gets this energy from…..
- And best of all nobody yelled Goober’s name.
Just before I left we talked about threesomes and her experiences and who she would recommend as her partner. I left with a huge smile on my face and while I drove home all I could think about was how on earth I could feel the pedals of the car given my legs were made of jello. There was no way in hell I could do a duo with this women. I’d be the equivalent of a male Praying Mantis when it was all done. All the adjectives that have been used to describe this woman are true and I don’t know what I could possibly say that could add to it. I hate it that she is THAT GOOD and that she can get under my skin like this.
Thanks Molly.
*Falls off soap box*
