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PokerDude said:Rip, many great recommendations in this post. The hobby is what it is. Once a month is a tough pill to swallow. Much easier for your love life to fizzle than to put the heat back in it. When the sex is gone, it's time to move on.
iceman_dci said:Wise words GDL.
GDLLover said:. Prior to marriage, put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex. After marriage you can now take a penny out each time. As hard as you try, you will never empty the jar. The sad part is you probably only had a couple years to fill the jar but yet emptying the jar you will spend 50+ years and still not come close to emptying it.
GDLLover said:I do think marriage can be ok if both are willing to put the effort in, but for the vast majority both partners neglect each other over time. Women neglect the sex portion, men neglect the emotional bonding portion. I have the same problems and am just as guilty so i'm no saint. I do feel though that I put more effort in than recieved so I justify hobbying because of it.
RIP, does have a chance to address the problems before marriage and the discussion of improving the sex frequency should be done now otherwise it will be taken for granted and never get fixed.
Rip said:Your responses had me thinking. Last night I surprised her bought chocolates and a bottle or red wine. She became very friendly after we finished the wine and started talking about our sex life. I mentioned we are too young to be having sex once a month and just a peck in the cheek for kisses. She began crying and telling me the spark is not there anymore but still loves me.
She mentioned I am not romantic enough, I don't listen to her when she speaks and watching sports is my idea of having fun. We do not go out to the theater as we used to, do not open the car door for her nor put her coat on as before. More of the same for another hour and made me realize I have to change to keep this relationship. I pointed out the negatives in her and ended up in a fight cause she couldn't take my criticism.
Not a good day, thanks again for all your help.
Rip said:Your responses had me thinking. Last night I surprised her bought chocolates and a bottle or red wine. She became very friendly after we finished the wine and started talking about our sex life. I mentioned we are too young to be having sex once a month and just a peck in the cheek for kisses. She began crying and telling me the spark is not there anymore but still loves me.
She mentioned I am not romantic enough, I don't listen to her when she speaks and watching sports is my idea of having fun. We do not go out to the theater as we used to, do not open the car door for her nor put her coat on as before. More of the same for another hour and made me realize I have to change to keep this relationship. I pointed out the negatives in her and ended up in a fight cause she couldn't take my criticism.
Not a good day, thanks again for all your help.
PokerDude said:. May be time to think of an exit strategy or at the very least postpone the wedding date to give you both some time to think.
Seeing an escort at this point may not be the best idea. Might trick you into thinking you can always go out for cake since you're not getting any at home.
I went through a similar situation fairly recently. We both realized that although we both still loved each other, the flame had dwindled and we weren't going to get it back. There was nothing left to do but walk away. A tough pill to swallow but it was the best medicine.
PokerDude said:RIP, they always say the grass is greener on the other side but it looks like your relationship is circling the drain. If she claims that "you have to change to keep this relationship", she's putting the responsibility squarely on your shoulders. May be time to think of an exit strategy or at the very least postpone the wedding date to give you both some time to think.
Seeing an escort at this point may not be the best idea. Might trick you into thinking you can always go out for cake since you're not getting any at home.
I went through a similar situation fairly recently. We both realized that although we both still loved each other, the flame had dwindled and we weren't going to get it back. There was nothing left to do but walk away. A tough pill to swallow but it was the best medicine.
HOF said:RIP, you chose the right handle. I was your age, when I married my ex-wife, who was your lady's age. Bought the house-paid cash, no mortgage, had my dog, two new cars. Life was grand or so I thought. My ex had never been with anyone else, we had been together almost 5 years in toll. Married for 3 months, and she leaves, while I"m at work and cleans out the house. I never cheated, etc, I was in love! Proceedings start, lots of drama. Then, one morning the phone rings, my ex-wife tells me she's pregnant. WOW. This is 5 months since the happy wedding day. I say, let's get a blood test done. She cries, it's yours. I said, we'll get a blood test done. Thankfully, I persued the blood test issue because it wasn't my child, I have no black genes in me whatsoever!
Be forewarned, if your sex life is boring now, you're better to be single and happy! You have not invested your life and you're very young still. Either make your concerns known to her or leave before the real drama starts.
Learn from my mistake!
HOF said:RIP, you chose the right handle. I was your age, when I married my ex-wife, who was your lady's age. Bought the house-paid cash, no mortgage, had my dog, two new cars. Life was grand or so I thought. My ex had never been with anyone else, we had been together almost 5 years in toll. Married for 3 months, and she leaves, while I"m at work and cleans out the house. I never cheated, etc, I was in love! Proceedings start, lots of drama. Then, one morning the phone rings, my ex-wife tells me she's pregnant. WOW. This is 5 months since the happy wedding day. I say, let's get a blood test done. She cries, it's yours. I said, we'll get a blood test done. Thankfully, I persued the blood test issue because it wasn't my child, I have no black genes in me whatsoever!
Be forewarned, if your sex life is boring now, you're better to be single and happy! You have not invested your life and you're very young still. Either make your concerns known to her or leave before the real drama starts.
Learn from my mistake!
Jawbone said:Is this the Hoff from ****y land, welcome. I unfortunalty have been banned from the other board, your reviews were one of the ones I did enjoy to read.
Rip said:Thank you all once again. I cancelled the wedding last week, her parents called pissed off she cried for days. Came home last night and she was gone, no note just an empty house. Feel lonely and depressed but will get over it (I hope).
GDLLover said:So far; "I need to see an escort that kisses passionately, enjoys to be pampered and is a nice person." Give us more to work with and we can narrow it down, there are many great ladies out there with different styles and more details will hopefully get you what you seek. Preferences if you have them such as origin, height, body type, age, hair color, GFE/PSE, etc.
Rip said:Never had CIM curious to know what it feels like, questioning myself if I want to try anal. White, Pretty, slim to curvy. Hair color and height unimportant, well-mannered and experienced with good communication skills.
Am I asking for too much?.