crackerjack
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2009
- Messages
- 135
Fuck.
What a great word, eh? It ‘s versatile in meaning, multi-purpose in practice and can convey a wide range of connotations.
It can be used as a noun as in: “Why,,,, that silly little Fuck”
As a verb: “Tax time. Bent over, got Fucked again”
Or as an adjective: “That blowjob was Fucking amazing!”
And it fits perfectly into our everyday body language. Example; get cut off in traffic, flip them the finger and they automatically know what you mean: “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on”.
The F-bomb can also be used to express remorse as in: “I’m really Fucking sorry I came in your mouth”
It can even be used to provide a compliment: “She is really Fucking beautiful!”
Or,,,, to express outrage: “Locked my keys in the truck again.” “F….U….C….K….I…N….G B….E….A….U….T….I….F….U….L !!!!”
The F-word has also seen service by some very famous personages throughout the annals of history. The more distinguished of them being:
Pythagoras (530 BC): “How the fuck do we figure that out?”
Christopher Columbus (1492): “Where the fuck are we?”
Captain of the Titanic (1912): “Where's all that fucking water coming from?”
Mayor of Hiroshima (1945): “What the fuck was that noise?”
Iraqi airbase commander (2007): “What the fucks that coming down the ventilation shaft?”
But in spite of these noteworthy greats, my little fornicator extraordinaire (aka Lil’Head) and I were determined to make history of our own. To embark on the greatest “Fuck” of them all,,,,starting with the one and the only ,,,,,,,,,,
Stepped into RM’s shadowy vestibule to find Paola - a tiny spit of a lass wearing some racey, lacey lingerie and a pecker ready smile. With a peck on the cheek,,,, the boy and I hopelessly followed her down a dimly lit corridor ,,,,,whilst admiring those sweet cheeks merrily bouncing out the sides of her Vic Secrets. Exchanged the usual niceties and availed myself of the shower facilities to blast off the daily build up of crotch crud. Bee-lined it back to the room lickety-split to find milady pining my spic ‘n span arrival. Casual small talk ensued and,,,,, with some light teasing tickles thrown in for good measure it wasn’t long before I was balls down, schlongitudinally sprawled across the poor soul. Soon found myself deep in DFK trouble and a twisted mangle of arms and legs. After a vigorous liplock workout, it was time to unleash some mischievous digits on her heated vixen flesh.
Whisked her girly unmentionables into a frothy mix. Whipped a snorkel outta the emergency hobby kit and with a splash,,,,found myself snout deep betwixt her thighs and a slathering of luv juices. With DATY, her hips start bucking in rhythm to my ice-cream licks to her engorged “plum”.
WHOA! CAN THIS GIRL PHUCKIN’ GRIND!!!
Damn near stripped the chrome off my braces with her gyrating pubic bone (explain that one to my dentist,,,but I digress).
Shot a downward glance at Lil’Head. Could tell from his one-eyed, vein-popping expression,,,the lad was pussy panting in his lil rubber tux. Lifted her ankles for mid-air mish and buried the lil bosshole balls deep in her luv canal. GGGGGIV’ ER a furious PHUCKING too. Mere moments later,,,,felt the “dog-locking” of her vag muscles choking the creamy BA-JAZZUSS outta my little chicken. Almost panicked at first,,,,as it felt like I got the boy caught in the gears of some moving farm machinery. In spite of such,,,,he BLEW four ways from sideways; spewing baby batter from here to next week.
LURD GAWD!!!,,,,don’t recall packing that much fudge before leaving the farm.
Gentlemen,,,,,,By the numbers:
Face: 7.5
A long haired brunette with strongggggg chiseled Cossack facial features (perfect for COF’ing all over) and piercing blue eyes that could cut a bombshell in half.
Body: 7.5
Guesstimating mid-20something, 5’3” near spinner-type barely tipping the scales at 110lbs. Can’t pinch an inch on this little package. All tight corners wedged into a slender physique with a solid brick built arse hanging out the back. A pair of sweet cheeks that took the worst in a red-ass’d hand smacking. Being a breast connoisseur,,,,gotta admit though,,, for one of such tender years her breasts were disappointingly soggy. Not anything like her web pics. Nevertheless,,,,a pair of au naturale "C" cuppers with nipples of .50 caliber girth filled my mouth. Just be careful one does not go off in your chops. And,,, If I may add,,,,her nips were lengthy enough to take out a tonsil or two from five paces.
Don’t recall any piercings or tattoos but perhaps another TOFTT’r can confirm. Spent to much time with snorkeling classes down under to take note.
Personality: 8
Now,,,, yours truly normally avoids EE types and their propensity for fem-bot attitudes, chilly reception and lousy service. Paola was the exception – a friendly sort offering a full GFE experience. Cordial, amicable and only to happy to follow your lead without the usual laundry list of “wife-y” complaints. Found her a little hesitant initially,,,,but ,,,, with some soft digital encouragement she cum off the starting line in SPADES! Heehee.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 9
In a word,,,,,,savage, raw, barbaric.
Ok,,,that was 3 words,,,, but in essence it was a near death GFE wet dream experience with a youngin’ fresh out of the prestigious Jailbait Academy. And gawd luv ‘er,,,,gave the girl a serious mauling and she took it with nary a whimper or complaint. One of the best RM experiences the boy and I encountered thus far.
Facilities: 7
Room was clean, orderly, ordinary,,,, and no pecker tracks left in the sheets. But the décor was hardly inspiring. A tired facility begging for a coat of Benjamin Moore – any color would do. Had the dubious pleasure of being greeted with seriously cramped shower facilities. Able to challenge the most dexterous of soap wielding hobbiests.
Losses:
$140 for the hh.
Repeat:
In two shakes of a lamb’s tail if not sooner would I.
Closing Arguments:
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Definitely a pecker-worthy chick. A sweet kid by any measure. And MAN ‘O MAN,,,,,never met a dame who can grind like her during DATY. Forceful, aggressive,,,, borderline violent by times. Wore the follicles off my movember ‘stache. If you are looking for a GFE rubber burning session with a chick possessing pubic bone talents – one who can grind the divit off from under your nose,,,,,then Paola is your girl.
ps…… almost forgot one last fucking quote:
Lil’Head (2010): “SUCK MARTHA SUCK!!! BLOW IS JUST A FUCKING EXPRESSION!”
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
What a great word, eh? It ‘s versatile in meaning, multi-purpose in practice and can convey a wide range of connotations.
It can be used as a noun as in: “Why,,,, that silly little Fuck”
As a verb: “Tax time. Bent over, got Fucked again”
Or as an adjective: “That blowjob was Fucking amazing!”
And it fits perfectly into our everyday body language. Example; get cut off in traffic, flip them the finger and they automatically know what you mean: “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on”.
The F-bomb can also be used to express remorse as in: “I’m really Fucking sorry I came in your mouth”
It can even be used to provide a compliment: “She is really Fucking beautiful!”
Or,,,, to express outrage: “Locked my keys in the truck again.” “F….U….C….K….I…N….G B….E….A….U….T….I….F….U….L !!!!”
The F-word has also seen service by some very famous personages throughout the annals of history. The more distinguished of them being:
Pythagoras (530 BC): “How the fuck do we figure that out?”
Christopher Columbus (1492): “Where the fuck are we?”
Captain of the Titanic (1912): “Where's all that fucking water coming from?”
Mayor of Hiroshima (1945): “What the fuck was that noise?”
Iraqi airbase commander (2007): “What the fucks that coming down the ventilation shaft?”
But in spite of these noteworthy greats, my little fornicator extraordinaire (aka Lil’Head) and I were determined to make history of our own. To embark on the greatest “Fuck” of them all,,,,starting with the one and the only ,,,,,,,,,,
Stepped into RM’s shadowy vestibule to find Paola - a tiny spit of a lass wearing some racey, lacey lingerie and a pecker ready smile. With a peck on the cheek,,,, the boy and I hopelessly followed her down a dimly lit corridor ,,,,,whilst admiring those sweet cheeks merrily bouncing out the sides of her Vic Secrets. Exchanged the usual niceties and availed myself of the shower facilities to blast off the daily build up of crotch crud. Bee-lined it back to the room lickety-split to find milady pining my spic ‘n span arrival. Casual small talk ensued and,,,,, with some light teasing tickles thrown in for good measure it wasn’t long before I was balls down, schlongitudinally sprawled across the poor soul. Soon found myself deep in DFK trouble and a twisted mangle of arms and legs. After a vigorous liplock workout, it was time to unleash some mischievous digits on her heated vixen flesh.
Whisked her girly unmentionables into a frothy mix. Whipped a snorkel outta the emergency hobby kit and with a splash,,,,found myself snout deep betwixt her thighs and a slathering of luv juices. With DATY, her hips start bucking in rhythm to my ice-cream licks to her engorged “plum”.
WHOA! CAN THIS GIRL PHUCKIN’ GRIND!!!
Damn near stripped the chrome off my braces with her gyrating pubic bone (explain that one to my dentist,,,but I digress).
Shot a downward glance at Lil’Head. Could tell from his one-eyed, vein-popping expression,,,the lad was pussy panting in his lil rubber tux. Lifted her ankles for mid-air mish and buried the lil bosshole balls deep in her luv canal. GGGGGIV’ ER a furious PHUCKING too. Mere moments later,,,,felt the “dog-locking” of her vag muscles choking the creamy BA-JAZZUSS outta my little chicken. Almost panicked at first,,,,as it felt like I got the boy caught in the gears of some moving farm machinery. In spite of such,,,,he BLEW four ways from sideways; spewing baby batter from here to next week.
LURD GAWD!!!,,,,don’t recall packing that much fudge before leaving the farm.
Gentlemen,,,,,,By the numbers:
Face: 7.5
A long haired brunette with strongggggg chiseled Cossack facial features (perfect for COF’ing all over) and piercing blue eyes that could cut a bombshell in half.
Body: 7.5
Guesstimating mid-20something, 5’3” near spinner-type barely tipping the scales at 110lbs. Can’t pinch an inch on this little package. All tight corners wedged into a slender physique with a solid brick built arse hanging out the back. A pair of sweet cheeks that took the worst in a red-ass’d hand smacking. Being a breast connoisseur,,,,gotta admit though,,, for one of such tender years her breasts were disappointingly soggy. Not anything like her web pics. Nevertheless,,,,a pair of au naturale "C" cuppers with nipples of .50 caliber girth filled my mouth. Just be careful one does not go off in your chops. And,,, If I may add,,,,her nips were lengthy enough to take out a tonsil or two from five paces.
Don’t recall any piercings or tattoos but perhaps another TOFTT’r can confirm. Spent to much time with snorkeling classes down under to take note.
Personality: 8
Now,,,, yours truly normally avoids EE types and their propensity for fem-bot attitudes, chilly reception and lousy service. Paola was the exception – a friendly sort offering a full GFE experience. Cordial, amicable and only to happy to follow your lead without the usual laundry list of “wife-y” complaints. Found her a little hesitant initially,,,,but ,,,, with some soft digital encouragement she cum off the starting line in SPADES! Heehee.
Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor): 9
In a word,,,,,,savage, raw, barbaric.
Ok,,,that was 3 words,,,, but in essence it was a near death GFE wet dream experience with a youngin’ fresh out of the prestigious Jailbait Academy. And gawd luv ‘er,,,,gave the girl a serious mauling and she took it with nary a whimper or complaint. One of the best RM experiences the boy and I encountered thus far.
Facilities: 7
Room was clean, orderly, ordinary,,,, and no pecker tracks left in the sheets. But the décor was hardly inspiring. A tired facility begging for a coat of Benjamin Moore – any color would do. Had the dubious pleasure of being greeted with seriously cramped shower facilities. Able to challenge the most dexterous of soap wielding hobbiests.
Losses:
$140 for the hh.
Repeat:
In two shakes of a lamb’s tail if not sooner would I.
Closing Arguments:
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Definitely a pecker-worthy chick. A sweet kid by any measure. And MAN ‘O MAN,,,,,never met a dame who can grind like her during DATY. Forceful, aggressive,,,, borderline violent by times. Wore the follicles off my movember ‘stache. If you are looking for a GFE rubber burning session with a chick possessing pubic bone talents – one who can grind the divit off from under your nose,,,,,then Paola is your girl.
ps…… almost forgot one last fucking quote:
Lil’Head (2010): “SUCK MARTHA SUCK!!! BLOW IS JUST A FUCKING EXPRESSION!”
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
. Awesome review CJ.
. Thanks for the laughs Jack.
