Truedat, you might be confusing two issues best kept separate.
- One is the issue of S&M, and no-one has suggested you not talk about it or ask about it. Indeed some of us have made suggestions about who might be into it.
- A second issue is about pushing the boundaries, and it just seems there is a concern that a 'no' to you might receive a 'u sure?' response half-way into the thing said no to, or that roughness might lack the mutual consent/trust thing you took care to point out is clear in your mind (which might allay some of others' concerns).
I think you will find if that if dudes are confident you see the point of a 'no' then criticism of you will evaporate, because no-one gives enough of a fig about writing style and sexual preferences to bother commenting on those things!
