Showering for Men...

[-b]

Just some fun at you Men.....:bad:

How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

 

[redvelvet]

OMG
You have that so accurate it is scary!

 

[-b]

[h=1]Things You Shouldn't Do In A Men's Locker Room[/h]



Thing's you don't do in the men's locker room.
1. Announce yourself by saying "So little time, so many guys." 2. Claim toilet as yours, and sit on it for hours 3. Stand right next to guy in shower, and start giggling. 4. Smuggle melted chocolate chips in locker room and spread it all over the toilets seats 5. Get that same chocolate chips, spread it all over your hands, leave toilet area and start licking them off while saying "Finger Licking Good" 6. Bring ruler into the shower and measure yourself. 7. Go around asking men to jerk off in a plastic cup because you can't afford the "Ooze of Death" that comes seperately from the "G.I. Joe Torture Chamber". 8. Point at guy next to you at the stall and say "Damn your wife was right, I am larger." 9. Offer free massages in the shower area. 10. Think of your girlfriend while cleaning off. 11. Go around asking guys to "Lather you up" 12. While hopping in for a quick rinse, sing "Like a Virgin". 13. Start daring guy's to pick up your soap. 14. Walk around, accuse people of stealing your Feminine protection. 15. Buy some Herbal Essence, make same sounds as in commercial. 16. Go around the shower while no ones looking and start smuggling the soap. 17. Play "Hide the Towels" while everyones taking a shower 18. Walk around with your underwear on your head. 19. Get drunk, lay on one of the benches and start telling everyone your trying to get "lucky" 20. Walk around without a shirt, ask everyone to rub your belly for good luck. 21. Get in front of mirror, braid your butt hair 22. Wash your dirty undwear and socks in the showers. 23. Get those same underwear and socks, place them on the shower heads, and claim your trying "filter the water of disgusting minerals" 24. Try to prove your one step better than the dimwit who takes a leak in the shower, by taking a dump. And finally.. 25. After shaving, use Massengil as aftershave

 

[OMEGA]

Funny one :good:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Just some fun at you Men.....:bad:

Throw wet towel on bed.

I'd just like to point out that it's not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes the weight of the damp towel causes the throw to be short and it lands on the floor. You need to be able to compensate for the extra weight, the draft in the room and the farking cat who thinks it's a game to swat at anything that flies through the air. I think of it as physics.

 

[oldguyzer]

I think of it as physics.

Don't use big words...there are ladies present. They think we're all dumb as bricks :biggrin2:

 

[Madman]

The shower scene is all wrong. I pee at the start and DO NOT SAY "woo woo" , I prefer "SUCK IT" the rest ya, true!

 

[celticman]

You describe a level of lavage sophistication to which I can only aspire.

 

[-b]

Seems some need pictures....:wink2:

 

[oldguyzer]

Just some fun at you Men.....:bad:

How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

This is waaayyy too complicated. The usual process is:
pee
scratch butt
wonder if you can pee straight up
wash off pee
think about cleaning important parts like face, armpits, and butt
stop thinking and pee more
rinse and repeat

(OK I stole the last bit off the Shampoo bottle. Wonder why I need to rinse the bottle over and over again.)

 

[Raiden]

This is waaayyy too complicated. The usual process is:
pee
scratch butt
wonder if you can pee straight up
wash off pee
think about cleaning important parts like face, armpits, and butt
stop thinking and pee more
rinse and repeat

(OK I stole the last bit off the Shampoo bottle. Wonder why I need to rinse the bottle over and over again.)

How can you pee so much? One good whiz at the beginning aiming for the drain is usually enough.
\
\How about the old spread the cheeks and let the water pressure spay in routine?? No homo here, just asking!

 

[oldguyzer]

How can you pee so much? One good whiz at the beginning aiming for the drain is usually enough.
\
\How about the old spread the cheeks and let the water pressure spay in routine?? No homo here, just asking!

Wait till you get old. You'll wonder where it all came from, and why it can't come out at the same time. Not to mention why you can go all day and not drink anything and still wake up to pee all night. The mysteries of life.... :unknw:

 

[tboy]

sorry I find this post offensive and it should be removed........you can't have it both ways: post something negative towards men and get your panties in a knot when a man dares to say something negative about women/you.......

 

[Baz]

Why on earth would anyone urinate in the shower? I don't believe anyone would want to be barefoot standing in their own urine.

 

[oldguyzer]

I don't believe anyone would want to be barefoot standing in their own urine.

You want to stand in someone elses? :SayWhat?:

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

Why on earth would anyone urinate in the shower? I don't believe anyone would want to be barefoot standing in their own urine.

I'm taking the 5th on this one.

 

[tboy]

Why on earth would anyone urinate in the shower? I don't believe anyone would want to be barefoot standing in their own urine.

to quote george castanza....they're all pipes!!!!

Dude, you don't stand in it, the shower washes it down the drain faster than you can produce it. Plus if you think about it, it is infinitely more efficient than flushing a toilet, you're using the shower water for more than one use: to clean yourself AND dispose of your bodily waste. Unlike when you P in the toilet, you use between 1 and 2 gallons of water to get rid of what, 300 ml of P?

 

[Madman]

to quote george castanza....they're all pipes!!!!

Dude, you don't stand in it, the shower washes it down the drain faster than you can produce it. Plus if you think about it, it is infinitely more efficient than flushing a toilet, you're using the shower water for more than one use: to clean yourself AND dispose of your bodily waste. Unlike when you P in the toilet, you use between 1 and 2 gallons of water to get rid of what, 300 ml of P?

That's true, I never really thought of it. All the yelling my ex did one day when she caught me squirting in the shower and only if I had known of this fact back then.

 

[FineWineDiva]

to quote george castanza....they're all pipes!!!!

Dude, you don't stand in it, the shower washes it down the drain faster than you can produce it. Plus if you think about it, it is infinitely more efficient than flushing a toilet, you're using the shower water for more than one use: to clean yourself AND dispose of your bodily waste. Unlike when you P in the toilet, you use between 1 and 2 gallons of water to get rid of what, 300 ml of P?

Great comeback. So substantive, well thought out, and witty

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

to quote george castanza....they're all pipes!!!!

Dude, you don't stand in it, the shower washes it down the drain faster than you can produce it. Plus if you think about it, it is infinitely more efficient than flushing a toilet, you're using the shower water for more than one use: to clean yourself AND dispose of your bodily waste. Unlike when you P in the toilet, you use between 1 and 2 gallons of water to get rid of what, 300 ml of P?

That's it I'm convinced.