Tell me a secret,

[papasmerf]

Fine! I am selling my lawnmower. If interested, send me a message. No lowball offers please or else I will keep it.

I am 6 inches tall my balls are naturally low

 

[peace]

:no:

 

[Guido]

Fine! I am selling my lawnmower. If interested, send me a message. No lowball offers please or else I will keep it.

I'll give you $20 for the lawn mower and 50 for a working snowblower.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

Bob,

I think he was more considering what you said and complimenting you on it.

But if he does the math you said you are 53 years old so in 1978 you would have been 16.
You said you only wrote papers for others in classes you already took. Implying you were 15 when you entered University.
You have to admit that is not unheard of, but it is unusual.

Well by his own admission he is a savant.

That surely must be taken into consideration.

 

[papasmerf]

Well by his own admission he is a savant.

That surely must be taken into consideration.

This too is true.
But even the smartest guy in the room had to be 19 to drink in Canada back then if memory serves.

 

[peace]

18 in Quebec...

 

[papasmerf]

18 in Quebec...

Ah

But not 15

 

[User-E]

I am 6 inches tall my balls are naturally low

Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier, do your balls hang low?

 

[User-E]

Which secret would you like me to tell you?

 

[papasmerf]

Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier, do your balls hang low?

Yes :yahoo:

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

This too is true.
But even the smartest guy in the room had to be 19 to drink in Canada back then if memory serves.

18 in Quebec...

18 in Ontario during the late 70's as well.

 

[papasmerf]

18 in Ontario during the late 70's as well.

my mistake


But I still stand by if someone is 53 today they were not 18 in 1977, 1978 or 1979.
In fact they turned 18 in 1980.

 

[bobistheowl]

I'm really not hairy!:NoNoNo:

Sorry to burst your bubble Peace.:don'twantto-see:/

This is exactly why I have sometimes referred to 'the guy in Guido's avatar', when making hairy guy jokes.

 

[Guido]

This is exactly why I have sometimes referred to 'the guy in Guido's avatar', when making hairy guy jokes.

Bito, please don't tell me you've been staring at my portrait?? Seriously, I'm getting worried, you're not are you?:NoNoNo::biggrin2:

 

[bobistheowl]

Well by his own admission he is a savant.

That surely must be taken into consideration.

Maurice Boscorelli, I was born in 1961, and graduated from high school in 1977. I was supposed to be in kindergarden on my first day of school in September, 1966, but I was a full head taller than the other kids my age, so they put me in the grade one class. I moved to Quebec in 1969, and high school goes to grade 11 there.

I went to college in Quebec immediately after grade 11. It wasn't University, and I did not use that term to describe my schooling.

I attended college for the 1977-78 and 1978-79 school years, the winter semester of the 1979-80 year, and the 1983-84 year, at a different school. I worked in summer/ fall 1979, and from spring, 1980 through August, 1983, and again in summer, 1984, before I moved back to Toronto.

I was five foot, eleven when I was twelve years old, and grew about three additional inches. I looked older than my age, and I could buy mickey bottles of alcohol in liquor stores in Quebec when I was fourteen, because they didn't ask me for ID.

When I was sixteen, I looked old enough to drink in the local pubs where the students hung out, but in my first semester, I could not attend the on campus drinking establishment, because everybody had to show a student ID card there. Near the start of the second semester, I got a replacement student ID card, and I told them I had been born in 1960. They typed that on the new card, and I could drink on campus.

That was a completely different era. Students and teachers were allowed to smoke cigarettes in classes, We drank beer in Astronomy class on Wednesday night, (if a student followed the teacher's rule, that if you wanted to drink in class, you had to give a beer to everyone, and the teacher had one, too).

All through high school, there was possibly only one student in any of my classes who was younger than I was, (a girl in my grade 10 French class, who was in grade 9 for every other course; she may have been younger, but I don't know her date of birth). I didn't have any other classes with anyone from a lower grade, but I had at least one class with 40% of the students who graduated the year before I did, mostly from advanced math classes, and optional courses.

I had quite a few friends my own age, but they were not in the same grade as I was. Since I was tall, none of the people I went to school with thought I was younger than they were, and some of the girls in grades ahead of me thought I was their age. Fortunately for me, I stopped looking older than my age at about age 20.

I was asked for ID to buy beer at a Buffalo Bisons game in 1987, one of the last homestand, before they tore down "The Rockpile", The War Memorial Stadium, where the AFL Bills played home games, and where the filmed much of the 1984 film The Natural.

That stadium was in a really shitty neighbourhood in Buffalo, and the corridors in the stadium stunk of piss. They had a short right field, with a wall called The Screen Monster, there was a huge area with picnic tables behind the centerfield fence, and The Earl of Bud did his PeeWee Herman Dance on top of the dugout, in the middle of the fourth inning. Matt Winters of the Omaha Royals had two home runs, and he signed my score card. Matt was a Buffalo native. This would have been the weekend of August 22-23 or 29-30, 1987, because I don't remember if this was the second to last game of the season, or whether the Bisons played the last week on the road.

There was also one guy, I can't remember which team he was on, who had a perfect 'minor league baseball name' - Craig Smajstrla. He's listed on Wikipedia. He had three hitless major league at bats in 1988, and probably never had a Topps card. You'd have to agree, that's not a "Big League Name".

According to Wikipedia, "Smajstrla was nicknamed "Mr. Buy A Vowel" by Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton".

I didn't do a lot of digging, but he was in the Cleveland or Kansas City organization in 1987, because Buffalo was the Indians' AAA team in the American Association that year.

I don't tell lies on this board. I do write bullshit posts, from time to time, but they're obviously not true, like a Louis XIV post. For example, the one where Rupert from Survivor is now Iggy Azalea. That's just 'milk out of your nose' stuff. Taylor Swift is not a Chechyan former Olympic gymnast. I think everyone knew I was making that up.

People here always accuse me of being too serious, perhaps because they can't tell if a post was supposed to be funny, unless they see the shit eating grin #2 emoticon, which I don't use. Most of the genuinely funny stuff here is in my posts.

I never present lies as being the truth, ever. Someone could read all of my posts, and never find a contradiction, where one of two posts can't possibly be true.

I don't have to do that, because I've lived life, rather than just read about it, or watched it on TV. People accuse me of lying, because my life has been more interesting than theirs, and they find it hard to believe that such a thing is possible.

 

[bobistheowl]

Bito, please don't tell me you've been staring at my portrait?? Seriously, I'm getting worried, you're not are you?:NoNoNo::biggrin2:

That's a complete falsehood.

I'm just happy that I don't look like an ape, like that guy in your avatar, Guido.

 

[Louis XIV]

Maurice Boscorelli, I was born in 1961, and graduated from high school in 1977. I was supposed to be in kindergarden on my first day of school in September, 1966, but I was a full head taller than the other kids my age, so they put me in the grade one class. I moved to Quebec in 1969, and high school goes to grade 11 there.

I went to college in Quebec immediately after grade 11. It wasn't University, and I did not use that term to describe my schooling.

I was five foot, eleven when I was twelve years old, and grew about three additional inches. I looked older than my age, and I could buy mickey bottles of alcohol in liquor stores in Quebec when I was fourteen, because they didn't ask me for ID.

When I was sixteen, I looked old enough to drink in the local pubs where the students hung out, but in my first semester, I could not attend the on campus drinking establishment, because everybody had to show a student ID card there. Near the start of the second semester, I got a replacement student ID card, and I told them I had been born in 1960. They typed that on the new card, and I could drink on campus.

That was a completely different era. Students and teachers were allowed to smoke cigarettes in classes, We drank beer in Astronomy class on Wednesday night, (if a student followed the teacher's rule, that if you wanted to drink in class, you had to give a beer to everyone, and the teacher had one, too).

All through high school, there was possibly only one student in any of my classes who was younger than I was, (a girl in my grade 10 French class, who was in grade 9 for every other course; she may have been younger, but I don't know her date of birth). I didn't have any other classes with anyone from a lower grade, but I had at least one class with 40% of the students who graduated the year before I did, mostly from advanced math classes, and optional courses.

I had quite a few friends my own age, but they were not in the same grade as I was. Since I was tall, none of the people I went to school with thought I was younger than they were, and some of the girls in grades ahead of me thought I was their age. Fortunately for me, I stopped looking older than my age at about age 20.

I was asked for ID to buy beer at a Buffalo Bisons game in 1987, one of the last homestand, before they tore down "The Rockpile", The War Memorial Stadium, where the AFL Bills played home games, and where the filmed much of the 1984 film The Natural.

That stadium was in a really shitty neighbourhood in Buffalo, and the corridors in the stadium stunk of piss. They had a short right field, with a wall called The Screen Monster, there was a huge area with picnic tables behind the centerfield fence, and The Earl of Bud did his PeeWee Herman Dance on top of the dugout, in the middle of the fourth inning. Matt Winters of the Omaha Royals had two home runs, and he signed my score card. Matt was a Buffalo native. This would have been the weekend of August 22-23 or 29-30, 1987, because I don't remember if this was the second to last game of the season, or whether the Bisons played the last week on the road.

There was also one guy, I can't remember which team he was on, who had a perfect 'minor league baseball name' - Craig Smajstrla. He's listed on Wikipedia. He had three hitless major league at bats in 1988, and probably never had a Topps card. You'd have to agree, that's not a "Big League Name".

According to Wikipedia, "Smajstrla was nicknamed "Mr. Buy A Vowel" by Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton".

I didn't do a lot of digging, but he was in the Cleveland or Kansas City organization in 1987, because Buffalo was the Indians' AAA team in the American Association that year.

I don't tell lies on this board. I do write bullshit posts, from time to time, but they're obviously not true, like a Louis XIV post. For example, the one where Rupert from Survivor is now Iggy Azalea. That's just 'milk out of your nose' stuff. Taylor Swift is not a Chechyan former Olympic gymnast. I think everyone knew I was making that up.

People here always accuse me of being too serious, perhaps because they can't tell if a post was supposed to be funny, unless they see the shit eating grin #2 emoticon, which I don't use. Most of the genuinely funny stuff here is in my posts.

I never present lies as being the truth, ever. Someone could read all of my posts, and never find a contradiction, where one of two posts can't possibly be true.

I don't have to do that, because I've lived life, rather than just read about it, or watched it on TV. People accuse me of lying, because my life has been more interesting than theirs, and they find it hard to believe that such a thing is possible.

That's a great fable bob, and you tell it so well. Now tell us the one about the time you invented the iPhone before Apple did, but your patent application got lost in the mail, and they eventually stole your idea!

Anyone today who even remotely believes anything you write about yourself bob, has clearly sustained a serious and quite permanent head injury as a child.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I don't have to do that, because I've lived life, rather than just read about it, or watched it on TV. People accuse me of lying, because my life has been more interesting than theirs, and they find it hard to believe that such a thing is possible.

Would you like me to lend you my copy?

 

[bobistheowl]

I saw one of the Blue Angels fatally crash his jet at the CNE air show on Labour Day weekend, just before I started school, in 1966. I lived in The Beaches area back then, a few blocks west of Victoria Park and Queen, not far from The Fox theatre, "The Goof", Nova Fish and Chips, and the library, where there is/ was a softball diamond, and an outdoor lacrosse court.

I think they have a Jazz festival beside that library in the summer now; that's near Lee Avenue, I lived West of there, and a bit north, near the Glen Stewart Ravine on Glen Manor Drive, two different houses on that strret, one near Beaufort, and another closer to Queen Street, across the street from the park with the wooden bridge across the middle.

Whipper Billy Watson the pro wrestler lived up the street, and he always had the best candy at Hallowe'en. All the kids knew who he was, and where he lived, but we never went to his house, except at Hallowe'en, when we had a reason to ring his doorbell. He appreciated the fact that the kids didn't bug him the rest of the year, just because he was famous.

Bill White, the hockey player that was on the 1972 Team Canada team vs the Soviets lived a few blocks away, but I never met him. Some kids I went to school with told me which house he lived in, but he played for the LA Kings back then, and hockey players didn't make that much back then. I lived in a better house than he did.

 

[bobistheowl]

Would you like me to lend you my copy?

No thank you, Maurice Boscorelli. There are only a handful of guys on this board that I would want to socialize with, in real life. I keep in touch with a few ladies here by private messages, or e-mail, but we don't always post in the same threads. You don't need to know which ones they are. The rest of the guys here are just obstacles for me to navigate around. I've got that covered.