The ethics of concealing one's handle when visiting an SP or MT

[RobX]

Is it ethical to conceal one's handle when visiting an SP or MT?

To clarify my question, here are some specifics:

The Indy MT I would like to see is active on another board that I am also a member of, and I enjoy conversing online with her in various threads and via PM. I am worried about the consequences if our first session together does not go well. There is no particular reason to believe that this will happen, but there is always a risk. If the session does not go well and she does not know my handle I then have the choice of simply not writing a review in order to preserve our online relationship. However, if she knows my handle, and the session does not go well (for me), she may still expect me to write a good review of her, and I don't want to find myself in that situation. One way around this dilemma is to make the appointment using an email addy created specifically for this purpose, rather than via PM, so that she will not know my handle. My motive for doing so would be simply to preserve our online relationship following the session.

Hence, my question. In the circumstances described above, is it ethical for me to conceal my handle when making an appointment with her?

 

[GenevieveLajoie]

Is it ethical to conceal one's handle when visiting an SP or MT?

To clarify my question, here are some specifics:

The Indy MT I would like to see is active on another board that I am also a member of, and I enjoy conversing online with her in various threads and via PM. I am worried about the consequences if our first session together does not go well. There is no particular reason to believe that this will happen, but there is always a risk. If the session does not go well and she does not know my handle I then have the choice of simply not writing a review in order to preserve our online relationship. However, if she knows my handle, and the session does not go well (for me), she may still expect me to write a good review of her, and I don't want to find myself in that situation. One way around this dilemma is to make the appointment using an email addy created specifically for this purpose, rather than via PM, so that she will not know my handle. My motive for doing so would be simply to preserve our online relationship following the session.

Hence, my question. In the circumstances described above, is it ethical for me to conceal my handle when making an appointment with her?

Yes. It's perfectly within your right to not reveal your handle, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Many people actually believe you should never reveal your handle. I have a different take on this issue, but that's a different topic.

The only situation I can think of where I would consider it unethical and wrong to conceal your board identity is if an SP had made it clear that she does not wish to see you (based on your online persona for instance), and you go against her wishes and book her anyway, concealing the fact that you are "Robin".

 

[tboy]

Yes. It's perfectly within your right to not reveal your handle, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Many people actually believe you should never reveal your handle. I have a different take on this issue, but that's a different topic.

The only situation I can think of where I would consider it unethical and wrong to conceal your board identity is if an SP had made it clear that she does not wish to see you (based on your online persona for instance), and you go against her wishes and book her anyway, concealing the fact that you are "Robin".

<<<<< makes note to never book gen under "tboy" hehehehe

(I'm KIDDING!!!!)

As Gen says: there is an unwritten rule to NOT reveal your handle or membership to any review board as this can be construed as trying to garner favour else a bad review will be posted.

 

[Nothingtodo]

Genevieve, mind sharing your thoughts on your "different take on this issue". Would respect your opinion.

 

[GenevieveLajoie]

Genevieve, mind sharing your thoughts on your "different take on this issue". Would respect your opinion.

I don't want to hijack this thread, but start a new one and I'll gladly share.

 

[Nothingtodo]

I don't want to hijack this thread, but start a new one and I'll gladly share.

I don't think you will be hijacking this thread. It's open to all discussions and opinions. I can if you want but I think Robin won't mind if we continue it here.

 

[Auggie]

Sharing your handle is iffy, you better not be leveraging it into getting extras or threatening with a bad review. This could easily go into extortion territory and it's happened with lots of the ladies.

On the other hand, the boards encourage you to be open with your name, prizes are often given when you share your handle at industry parties.

 

[tboy]

LMMFAO you say THAT is extortion? OMFG.......that is really TFF.........

 

[Auggie]

No, it has the potential for extortion. Read again.

There's a reason you're private with your handle, tboy.

 

[smylee52]

.

You have no responsibility to reveal anything about yourself in P4P . You need to be clean , respectful and pay the fee .

Unless you are looking for specific services that you have discussed with her online then revealing your handle has much more downside risk . The variables are many but let's just say reality may not live up to the expectations you have developed of each other .

Best to have an anonymous encounter and then determine afterwards if revealing who you are will enhance your interactions going forward .

 

[Bear669]

As usual Gen summarizes best...

As usual Gen summarizes best...

Is it ethical to conceal one's handle when visiting an SP or MT?

To clarify my question, here are some specifics:

The Indy MT I would like to see is active on another board that I am also a member of, and I enjoy conversing online with her in various threads and via PM. I am worried about the consequences if our first session together does not go well. There is no particular reason to believe that this will happen, but there is always a risk. If the session does not go well and she does not know my handle I then have the choice of simply not writing a review in order to preserve our online relationship. However, if she knows my handle, and the session does not go well (for me), she may still expect me to write a good review of her, and I don't want to find myself in that situation. One way around this dilemma is to make the appointment using an email addy created specifically for this purpose, rather than via PM, so that she will not know my handle. My motive for doing so would be simply to preserve our online relationship following the session.

Hence, my question. In the circumstances described above, is it ethical for me to conceal my handle when making an appointment with her?

HOWEVER, it seems your main issue has nothing to do with ethics, but rather concern about the on-line affable (friendly? :neutral relationship you have with the SP.
This is the classic concern "I have a great female (male) pal. Will it ruin things if we have sex ?".

Maybe, maybe not. While it is NOT unethical to create a new handle, just keep in mind that SPs are VERY good at figuring out who is who. If you are booking an hour or more, betcha she will know you is you!:go:

 

[Jawbone]

Do not reveal your handle if you can. Regardless be a team player and write a true and honest review. That is what these boards are all about, true information so the members can find the right SP for them.

 

[RobX]

HOWEVER, it seems your main issue has nothing to do with ethics, but rather concern about the on-line affable (friendly? :neutral relationship you have with the SP.
This is the classic concern "I have a great female (male) pal. Will it ruin things if we have sex ?".

Maybe, maybe not. While it is NOT unethical to create a new handle, just keep in mind that SPs are VERY good at figuring out who is who. If you are booking an hour or more, betcha she will know you is you!:go:

I liked your analogy to real world relationships.

With respect to it being relatively easy for the the provider to figure it out, you are right there too. I have already had the experience of the manager of a massage salon I visit having figured out my handle. Since my two ATFs are at that salon, the fact that she (the manager) now knows my handle, has modified my approach to reviews of MTs at that salon. This does not affect my reviews of my ATFs because they are pretty well the best MTs in the city and one cannot help but write a positive review about them because the sessions are always so great. However, if I were to have a less than stellar session with one of the other MTs at the salon while my ATFs were away on vacation, I would now be more inclined to mention it to her rather than write it in a review.

 

[Bear669]

Hope its helpful R, but not an' analogy'.

Hope its helpful R, but not an' analogy'.

I liked your analogy to real world relationships.

With respect to it being relatively easy for the the provider to figure it out, you are right there too. I have already had the experience of the manager of a massage salon I visit having figured out my handle. Since my two ATFs are at that salon, the fact that she (the manager) now knows my handle, has modified my approach to reviews of MTs at that salon. This does not affect my reviews of my ATFs because they are pretty well the best MTs in the city and one cannot help but write a positive review about them because the sessions are always so great. However, if I were to have a less than stellar session with one of the other MTs at the salon while my ATFs were away on vacation, I would now be more inclined to mention it to her rather than write it in a review.

This too, is reality.