Cardinal Fang
Reviewer
- Joined
- May 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,717
THE GEEK CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES
PREAMBLE
We the Geeks of the United States, in order to form a more perfect circle, solve equations, ensure scientific literacy, cast magical spells, build the next killer apps, and reap the blessings of geek literacy for ourselves and our geeky friends, do ordain and establish this Geek Constitution for the United States of America.
ARTICLE I
Section 1
All exponential powers herein applied to numbers shall not be imaginary, or be powers of three, unless it is deemed applicable.
Section 2
The House of Representatives shall be composed of friends who gather around a card table each week, and the dungeon masters from each state shall be determined by rolling a 12-sided die.
No person shall be a Representative who shall not have memorized at least 50 digits of the mysterious number pi.
Section 3
The Senate will gather in a laboratory. Each partner will wear a white lab coat and conduct experiments.
No Person shall be a Senator until they can recite the periodic table of elements in their sleep.
Section 4
The time, place and manner of holding elections for Senators and Representatives shall be calculated using complex equations. Such results shall be recorded in binary format.
The Congress shall assemble at least once per year, and shall eat as much pizza as they want.
The facilities where the assemblies are held shall be technologically superior, and connected together with Wi-Fi or a LAN.
Section 5
Each House shall do battle against the other by taking turns in a format. The setting shall be a medieval castle surrounded by a wicked forest.
Section 6
The Senators and Representatives shall receive good compensation for their services, since they have strong analytical abilities and advanced education.
No Senator or Representative shall be forced to eat ramen noodles, but they may still eat such soups because they are tasty.
Section 7
Some votes of the Geek Congress shall be presented to the Geek President, but some may not. Anyone may question assumed assertions and apply thoughtful, reasoned judgment to solve the problems they face.
Section 8
The hassling of impressionable Geeks who are still in their teens or younger shall be prohibited, and it would not be too horrible if a tax or duty were to be imposed on such acts, at roughly 10 dollars for each person, or perhaps more.
In fact, it would be fantastic if no Geeks, or no people, were to be hassled.
The privilege of indulging in video games shall not be suspended, lest it should spur a rebellion or harm the public safety by inspiring an invasion of local arcades.
Section 9
The Geeks shall have the power to change the course of the world;
To create the products we will use in the future;
To devise the services that will help us get things done;
To ensure adequate power outlet availability where it is needed;
To code all night long;
To protest networks via social media/strongly worded letters/flash mobs/awkward questions at conventions if a favorite television series gets canceled;
To CONspire to CONgregrate and form a CONglomerate at any CON of their choosing;
To spend untold amounts of time and energy making sure cosplay costumes are screen/page accurate;
To dress up as a superhero whenever the mood strikes;
To lament the cancellation of "Firefly" no matter how much time has passed;
To be on a first-name basis with their comic-book store clerk;
To explain things in more detail than anyone would ever care to know;
Section 10
No Geek shall enter into situations in which they feel ashamed of their interests or skills;
No Geek shall feel that their ideas are unwanted in society;
No Geek shall fear that they will be bullied because they are a little different;
No Geek shall skip the latest episode of "Doctor Who";
No Geek shall pass up an argument about whether "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" is superior to the other;
No Geek shall forget that Joss Whedon and J.J. Abrams are perhaps the greatest humans ever, except when they kill off favorite characters or use too many lens flares.
PREAMBLE
We the Geeks of the United States, in order to form a more perfect circle, solve equations, ensure scientific literacy, cast magical spells, build the next killer apps, and reap the blessings of geek literacy for ourselves and our geeky friends, do ordain and establish this Geek Constitution for the United States of America.
ARTICLE I
Section 1
All exponential powers herein applied to numbers shall not be imaginary, or be powers of three, unless it is deemed applicable.
Section 2
The House of Representatives shall be composed of friends who gather around a card table each week, and the dungeon masters from each state shall be determined by rolling a 12-sided die.
No person shall be a Representative who shall not have memorized at least 50 digits of the mysterious number pi.
Section 3
The Senate will gather in a laboratory. Each partner will wear a white lab coat and conduct experiments.
No Person shall be a Senator until they can recite the periodic table of elements in their sleep.
Section 4
The time, place and manner of holding elections for Senators and Representatives shall be calculated using complex equations. Such results shall be recorded in binary format.
The Congress shall assemble at least once per year, and shall eat as much pizza as they want.
The facilities where the assemblies are held shall be technologically superior, and connected together with Wi-Fi or a LAN.
Section 5
Each House shall do battle against the other by taking turns in a format. The setting shall be a medieval castle surrounded by a wicked forest.
Section 6
The Senators and Representatives shall receive good compensation for their services, since they have strong analytical abilities and advanced education.
No Senator or Representative shall be forced to eat ramen noodles, but they may still eat such soups because they are tasty.
Section 7
Some votes of the Geek Congress shall be presented to the Geek President, but some may not. Anyone may question assumed assertions and apply thoughtful, reasoned judgment to solve the problems they face.
Section 8
The hassling of impressionable Geeks who are still in their teens or younger shall be prohibited, and it would not be too horrible if a tax or duty were to be imposed on such acts, at roughly 10 dollars for each person, or perhaps more.
In fact, it would be fantastic if no Geeks, or no people, were to be hassled.
The privilege of indulging in video games shall not be suspended, lest it should spur a rebellion or harm the public safety by inspiring an invasion of local arcades.
Section 9
The Geeks shall have the power to change the course of the world;
To create the products we will use in the future;
To devise the services that will help us get things done;
To ensure adequate power outlet availability where it is needed;
To code all night long;
To protest networks via social media/strongly worded letters/flash mobs/awkward questions at conventions if a favorite television series gets canceled;
To CONspire to CONgregrate and form a CONglomerate at any CON of their choosing;
To spend untold amounts of time and energy making sure cosplay costumes are screen/page accurate;
To dress up as a superhero whenever the mood strikes;
To lament the cancellation of "Firefly" no matter how much time has passed;
To be on a first-name basis with their comic-book store clerk;
To explain things in more detail than anyone would ever care to know;
Section 10
No Geek shall enter into situations in which they feel ashamed of their interests or skills;
No Geek shall feel that their ideas are unwanted in society;
No Geek shall fear that they will be bullied because they are a little different;
No Geek shall skip the latest episode of "Doctor Who";
No Geek shall pass up an argument about whether "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" is superior to the other;
No Geek shall forget that Joss Whedon and J.J. Abrams are perhaps the greatest humans ever, except when they kill off favorite characters or use too many lens flares.
