The John Next Door - Newsweek Article

[Kyra.Graves]

In their interviews, the sex buyers often voiced aggression toward women, and were nearly eight times as likely as nonbuyers to say they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked “to beat women up.” Sex buyers in the study committed more crimes of every kind than nonbuyers, and all the crimes associated with violence against women were committed by the johns.

https://www.newsweek.com/2011/07/17/the-growing-demand-for-prostitution.html

Thoughts?

 

[RAWD]

That's an extreme quote, but it fits within the context of objectifying women or viewing their companionship as a commodity.

I'd be curious about studying how men's attitudes towards women change over time as they hobby.

 

[SillyGirl]

. Overall, the attitudes and habits of sex buyers reveal them as men who dehumanize and commodify women, view them with anger and contempt, lack empathy for their suffering, and relish their own ability to inflict pain and degradation.

I think a man who dehumanizes, views with contempt, lacks empathy and likes to inflict pain upon and degrade a prostitute has the same attitude toward the civilian women in his life. I would agree that some would be more likely to physically act on these feelings with a woman they had paid, because some guys think the payment entitles them to do anything they want.

Farley found that sex buyers were more likely to view sex as divorced from personal relationships than nonbuyers, and they enjoyed the absence of emotional involvement with prostitutes, whom they saw as commodities

Guys like impersonal casual sex with no emotional involvement???? omg, there's a newsflash. Most of them would prefer to be having it with civvies, but apparently not many civvie women are into that.

I have a lot more respect for a guy who sees a pro than I do for a guy who plays with the feelings of a civvie just to get laid.

Farley’s findings suggest that the use of prostitution and pornography may cause men to become more aggressive. Sex buyers in the study used significantly more pornography than nonbuyers, and three quarters of them said they received their sex education from pornography, compared with slightly more than half of the nonbuyers. “Over time, as a result of their prostitution and pornography use, sex buyers reported that their sexual preferences changed and they sought more sadomasochistic and anal sex,” the study reported.

I agree that seeing escorts allows a guy to explore his interests, but I don't agree that seeing escorts causes those interests in the first place.

Prostitution can get you to think that things you may have done with a prostitute you should expect in a mutual loving relationship,” said one john who was interviewed. Such beliefs inspire anger toward other women if they don’t comply, impairing men’s ability to sustain relationships with nonprostitutes.

I do agree that seeing escorts regularly can skew a man's relationships with civvies, but I didn't realize it's an anger thing. I thought it was more a convenience thing...after getting used to just handing over the envelope, the whole long process of bedding civvies must seem tiresome.

“My view of the sex industry is that if we treat it as work and address some of its dangers, it would be less dangerous,” says Melissa Ditmore, an author and research consultant to the Sex Workers Project of the Urban Justice Center in New York.

I totally agree. People who think they can rid the world of prostitution are delusional.

It is good to see increased awareness and action on the issue of children being trafficked, but the article came across like every escort was forced into it as a child.

And it seems to me that if you really want to police an industry to protect the children, that would be made easier if said industry were legalized and regulated instead of being kept in the shadows.

Thanks for the post, Kyra.

 

[Wanker]

I found something similar

I found something similar

 

[tboy]

I do agree that seeing escorts regularly can skew a man's relationships with civvies, but I didn't realize it's an anger thing. I thought it was more a convenience thing...after getting used to just handing over the envelope, the whole long process of bedding civvies must seem tiresome.

That is 100% true. I just don't have the patience any longer to deal with all the BS a guy has to go through just to get a little female attention.

But it is a double edged sword: I remember as a young(er) man that I'd go months if not years without sex because I am not a player. So now, instead of sitting around frustrated, I just put down some money and get my relief.

I disagree however that guys who see escorts dehumanize women. I think there is a difference between the "john" who picks up a crack ho on the street for $20.00 and one who pays an escort $250.

I think any study who uses the term "degradation" about the commercial aspect in the client/escort model will skew the results. I don't think it is the act of giving a woman money to have sex with me automatically makes it degrading to the woman. I'd even go so far as it is degrading to the man more so because (in some cases) we aren't good enough for civvie women so we have to resort to paying for sex......

I mean really, what's so different than buying a woman a fancy dinner, drinks, the theatre and hoping to get laid or simply just giving her the money upfront so she can do what she wants?

Frankly, I personally feel it is somehow degrading what women make men go through in order for us to procreate.......and until such a time (in my dreams) that women actually start making the same effort that men do to actually initiate the "coupling" that nothing will change.....

I also like how they pulled out some of the more violent and sensationalistic quotes...about rape, and violence.......I wonder why they didn't put out the quotes of the johns who said things like "I treat her as well as I would a non-prostitute? I totally respect and admire her for the work that she does? I know, because who wants to read that????

 

[RAWD]

.......and until such a time (in my dreams) that women actually start making the same effort that men do to actually initiate the "coupling" that nothing will change.....

Such women exist, but they are often misunderstood or scare off lesser men.

 

[tboy]

Here's another good one:

"“It was considered a victimless crime. But it certainly isn’t; we realize that young women are being victimized.”

Me paying Kyra for sex IS a victimless crime. Because someone somewhere might be victimized does not mean every transaction includes a "victim".

I mean come on, this is like wanting to ban all fast food restaurants because there are some that overeat and become obese due to frequenting these places. Do they do that? No. Are they trying to ban them? no.

Making statements like this only shows that people have their own agenda. The report is obviously written not in a totally unbiased manner. The ONLY way to properly preset the facts, is to simply present ALL the facts, not put a particular spin on it or to ask questions with an end result in mind.

That's the biggest problem with surveys. It all depends on who you ask and what you ask. This study was done in boston. I wonder if it was done in the south end? Also, if you go into the ghetto, you'll get different answers than if you go to Salt Lake City.

Anyhow, I'm sure there are issues with every business. Some instances businesses dump toxic waste into our drinking water but that doesn't mean ALL businesses do this.

Once again, I think the only solution is making it 100% legal, and writing reasonable rules and regs and then enforcing them.

 

[tboy]

Such women exist, but they are often misunderstood or scare off lesser men.

LOL yeah, one in a million (ok, one in 1000 maybe lol).

 

[Shock The Monkey]

I have a lot more respect for a guy who sees a pro than I do for a guy who plays with the feelings of a civvie just to get laid.

I new a couple of guys that did that. Tried talking to them but to no avail. They were punks and will remain punks.

 

[tboy]

I have a lot more respect for a guy who sees a pro than I do for a guy who plays with the feelings of a civvie just to get laid.

I new a couple of guys that did that. Tried talking to them but to no avail. They were punks and will remain punks.

A couple? I've known probably 20 or 30 and to a one, they were all insecure assholes, just that women couldn't see that.

I see them as being no different than crack addicts: addicts will get really good at lying, cheating, and stealing to get their "fix" and players are no different.

I quote from one:

She: OK you win,
He: I ALWAYS win

The backstory is they went out, "liked" each other, but she didn't want to commit. He said he didn't want a relationship but couldn't stand the fact that she didn't want one with him. So he manipulated her to the point where the phone call above happened....

2 weeks later (after fucking 3 other women) he told her to hit the road......

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I gave up reading after this beauty: ''In their interviews, the sex buyers often voiced aggression toward women, and were nearly eight times as likely as nonbuyers to say they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked “to beat women up.” Sex buyers in the study committed more crimes of every kind than nonbuyers, and all the crimes associated with violence against women were committed by the johns.''

More skewed stats and info to push an agenda here. Does make for good copy for the rags to fill up their pages though.

Or in my case to catch bird droppings.

 

[RAWD]

LOL yeah, one in a million (ok, one in 1000 maybe lol).

Haha. Perhaps.

Here's a further thought. Such confident, dick-chasing women exist, but deep down, they also want to be pursued and woo-ed. Hence, a complicated paradox exists, in which no man can ever prevail.

 

[tboy]

Haha. Perhaps.

Here's a further thought. Such confident, dick-chasing women exist, but deep down, they also want to be pursued and woo-ed. Hence, a complicated paradox exists, in which no man can ever prevail.

LOL right on dude, right on!