Things that get under the skin

[Analme]

1)

GOD, that's fucking annoying!:biggrin2:

2) if I don't get my way I'm leaving. CYA, don't let the door slap you on the way out!

There, some pet peeves of mine!

 

[-b]

1)

GOD, that's fucking annoying!:biggrin2:

2) if I don't get my way I'm leaving. CYA, don't let the door slap you on the way out!

There, some pet peeves of mine!

:LMAO:

So that not just for me....but Boing, and so on......

Peeve....How people put down others for their point of views....
Being Passive Aggressive....

Men who think with their Dicks....and act like Pussies
Woman who would do anything to make themselves look good...

Not having sex in a along time.....

 

[Shiek]

Read this.... thought wait a minute... heres something worth sharing but its not under the skin, moreso ON the skin.



My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you
peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
'Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my20thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids,
I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long
strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is
spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out.....must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe,
breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I
want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The ha ir that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next
BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to
poop..

My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered
bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the
bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me u ndone. It's a very good
conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,
Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now . I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the
box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have
your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub
some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

IT WORKS!!

It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and
then notice to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OFIT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

 

[-b]

Sheik, use Peanut Butter....well just try it....let me know how it works....:LMAO:

 

[Transient]

What about this?

 

[ida]

Read this.... thought wait a minute... heres something worth sharing but its not under the skin, moreso ON the skin.



My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you
peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
'Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my20thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids,
I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long
strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is
spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out.....must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe,
breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I
want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The ha ir that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next
BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to
poop..

My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered
bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the
bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me u ndone. It's a very good
conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,
Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now . I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the
box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have
your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub
some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

IT WORKS!!

It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and
then notice to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OFIT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

The only ever entertaining post I've read so far on this forum. I'm actually laughing out loud for the first time ever, thank you Sheik.

 

[Ido]

Members that make fun of others.

 

[Shiek]

You're welcome and hope you can laugh a few more times with us.

 

[Art Mann]

Your turn to post some laughs, ida.

 

[Analme]

Oh no, Sheik wtf, once madman sees your hoo-ha waxing technique, we'll never hear the end of it.

One question, you have a hoo-ha instead of a winky?:SayWhat?:

 

[Shiek]

Well maybe he will clean up a bit......

Oh and you can do the hoo ha yourself ancing:

 

[L._s.]

Well maybe he will clean up a bit......

Oh and you can do the hoo ha yourself ancing:

Fu
cking hilarious sheik.

 

[HOF]

​

 

[HOF]

When someone constantly asks to be deleted, only to return a hour later.

I really don't like the word cunt!

 

[Madman]

What about this?

People that do not appreciate anything. Do you know HOW FUCKING LONG IT TOO PEACE AND I TO BAKE AND DECORATE THE FUCKING CAKE?????

That's it, I've had it WE're TAKING OUR CAKE AND GOING HOME!! COME ON PEACE LET'S GO!!!!!

 

[Madman]

RING RING RING

Blissful- Hello

Madman- Ello, is mike hunt home

Blissful- pardon me, who are you looking for

Madman- Mike HUNT

Blissful- I'm sorry, there is no Mike hunt here

Madman- ok, how about your fridge is it running?

Blissful- I believe so

Madman- well you better go catch it before it runs away

Blissful- is this a crank call because I really don't have time for this

Madman- no not at all but if you find Mike Hunt he will help you find your fridge. One more question, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Blissful- no honey I do not

Madman-great he got out and is probably with mike hunt!

Blissful-:whistling: click

 

[papasmerf]

RING RING RING

Blissful- Hello

Madman- Ello, is mike hunt home

Blissful- pardon me, who are you looking for

Madman- Mike HUNT

Blissful- I'm sorry, there is no Mike hunt here

Madman- ok, how about your fridge is it running?

Blissful- I believe so

Madman- well you better go catch it before it runs away

Blissful- is this a crank call because I really don't have time for this

Madman- no not at all but if you find Mike Hunt he will help you find your fridge. One more question, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Blissful- no honey I do not

Madman-great he got out and is probably with mike hunt!

Blissful-:whistling: click

:LMAO:

 

[-b]

Waking up late and finding a joke about me on here, that the ok part,

my brain is not working yet to have a come back...:grrrrrr:

 

[papasmerf]

Waking up late and finding a joke about me on here, that the ok part,

my brain is not working yet to have a come back...:grrrrrr:

well it is Lent and while I might create a coffee shortage in the short term, you will find bacon with be easier to find for awhile.

 

[Madman]

Waking up late and finding a joke about me on here, that the ok part,

my brain is not working yet to have a come back...:grrrrrr:

There's the problem right there. YOUR SHIFT begins at 7am. and where are you, SLEEPING BEAUTY is in bed god dammit!!!!

WAKE UP!!!!


Uncle Guido (the hammer) dock her pay by an hour!!!