Cardinal Fang
Reviewer
- Joined
- May 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,717
I rarely do this so please bear with me while I put together some rambling thoughts. I’m doing this to shake off the frustrations I’m feeling this morning after being cancelled on by a client who seems to think I’m at his beck and call. And as long as he pays my bills on time I will continue to let him think that and treat me with the disrespect I’ve become accustomed to.
The meeting was called last night and this morning I arrived early to my office to prepare. In doing so I had to walk the gauntlet past the two Canada Geese that have returned in their yearly endeavour to terrorize me. It has been pointed out to me that they return at this time every year to mate and await the arrival of their turd producing offspring. I’m not convinced. I’ve been attacked no fewer than two times this year and I’m sure if someone recorded it, it would be worthy of the YouTube channel “Fail Army” under the heading “Man pleads for his life in front of geese.”
No sooner did I sit down and check my email that I got a text from the client indicating he had to cancel and would “catch up with me the next time” he is in town. Apparently dropping $500 dollars on strippers the night before coupled with excessive amounts of Bud Lite (honestly how can you drink that shit) caught up with him this morning. So meeting cancelled. So what does one do? Well….if you’re me you take to twitter and advise the world or in my case my 20 followers that your time could have been better spent doing any number of things rather than this.
I could have been:
So yeah….I could have spent my time doing something much more valuable. Instead I’m forced to write this and post it as a way of coping. And that’s not easy for me given that I really don’t care what you people think. Actually, that may not be entirely true. Well….if I’m honest I’m pretty sure I don’t care. I just want to vent, use absurd analogies and if the good Lord permits; generate a few insults by channeling Wowbagger – a character in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Now that I’m done please feel free to heap scorn at your pleasure.
The meeting was called last night and this morning I arrived early to my office to prepare. In doing so I had to walk the gauntlet past the two Canada Geese that have returned in their yearly endeavour to terrorize me. It has been pointed out to me that they return at this time every year to mate and await the arrival of their turd producing offspring. I’m not convinced. I’ve been attacked no fewer than two times this year and I’m sure if someone recorded it, it would be worthy of the YouTube channel “Fail Army” under the heading “Man pleads for his life in front of geese.”
No sooner did I sit down and check my email that I got a text from the client indicating he had to cancel and would “catch up with me the next time” he is in town. Apparently dropping $500 dollars on strippers the night before coupled with excessive amounts of Bud Lite (honestly how can you drink that shit) caught up with him this morning. So meeting cancelled. So what does one do? Well….if you’re me you take to twitter and advise the world or in my case my 20 followers that your time could have been better spent doing any number of things rather than this.
I could have been:
- Perfecting my goose fighting technique.
- Browsing the escort section of Backpage and imagining how bad a session would have gone if I had booked any one of the number of Asian ads that “guarantee” the pictures are real.
- Thinking of ways of convincing Amy that I’m not the right person to paint her fence because in school I was admonished by Sister Mary Margret Grace Lipchitz for not colouring between the lines.
- Finally crafting that scathing email retort to that pile of cross-eyed mud-hurling foulness behind the HUBGFE twitter handle for mocking me last week. That’s not to say I didn’t deserve it but things like this can’t go unanswered.
- Actually trying to figure out if Amy’s “fence painting” offer was a euphemism I have yet to come to terms with.
So yeah….I could have spent my time doing something much more valuable. Instead I’m forced to write this and post it as a way of coping. And that’s not easy for me given that I really don’t care what you people think. Actually, that may not be entirely true. Well….if I’m honest I’m pretty sure I don’t care. I just want to vent, use absurd analogies and if the good Lord permits; generate a few insults by channeling Wowbagger – a character in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Now that I’m done please feel free to heap scorn at your pleasure.
Last edited:
raying:
