Urban Cowboy's SeekingArrangement adventures

[HUBGFEsup]

I've had an unpaid SeekingArrangement account for about a year, mostly to scout for Ottawa sex workers who are easy to spot.

I had a completely blank profile with no details and no photos uploaded.

About a month ago, I inserted some brief details. I slowly started getting views on my profile.

Then I added a photo (not showing my face) and beefed up my description with honesty, a clever pun, and authenticity that reflects my personality. Now I'm getting more hits, some girls adding me to their Favourites list, and 23 inbox messages so far, mostly from locals.

This evening I finally upgraded to a 1-month paid account. I figured I had nothing to lose and wasn't spending money doing any hobbying this month anyway. I responded to 11 of the 23 inbox messages from girls who were attractive or actually put effort into their messages (preferably both). I initiated messages with a handful of others too. One girl has already responded, but it's like pulling teeth or like talking to a brick wall. Let's see how the others fare.

Will keep this thread updated with any new developments.

 

[Jingles]

Thanks UC! I am curious to see how this works out.

 

[paul mott]

Once I get a chance I'll update you guys on my SA live in, which initially was great but there's a extremely sad side to this which will result in it ending. Life is making decisions based on what you know at the time, which isn't always alot, and it's also about taking chances as long as there's not a whole lot to loose if it doesn't work out, both of which apply to me.

 

[Jingles]

Sorry to hear it has not worked out, Paul. Hope you are doing ok and I imagine you are as you always go into these relationships with the right frame of mind!

 

[HUBGFEsup]

Sorry to hear Paul.

One week update. I've responded to many messages from the more attractive girls and/or the ones who put an effort into their first message. (I initiated contact with very few girls otherwise. It is fun to be the one pursued rather than the one doing the pursuing.)

Two of the girls who messaged me first were Pamela @ AT/PS and Ren @ Brass Club. I ignored those. I basically ignore known sex workers. As I've stated before, they're easy to spot.

I've met two girls so far, just to gauge chemistry. Both are early-20s, girl-next-door types.

Girl 1 and I had an unpaid 1h walk around downtown to chat and feel each other out. I'm waiting for her to return from a short out-of-town trip before we discuss money. She has a boyfriend and another guy she is seeing on the side. Her boyfriend doesn't know about that guy, nor about her SeekingArrangement pursuits.

Girl 2 and I had an unpaid 3h hangout where we shared dessert and went on a leisurely nighttime drive through various parts of Ottawa, again to see if we clicked. She barely has enough funds at the end of each month after paying her rent and bills, and seems reasonably enthusiastic about an arrangement. She proposes $200 per meet which would include intimacy if it leads in that direction. I have yet to accept or decline this proposal, because it's a buyer's market for us men and also "never accept the first offer".

Other girls are in various stages of conversation, with varying difficulty conversing. With some, it's like pulling teeth trying to get on the same wavelength as them. I usually stop communicating with those girls quickly. By comparison, with Girl 1 and Girl 2 above, things were very smooth and efficient.

I still have 22 days left of Premium (paid) membership so I will keep updating with any new developments. I may or may not subscribe again after my membership expires.

Also, I have not told any girls (and especially not sex worker friends) I am on SeekingArrangement. Because of tweets like this: Twitter <--- click that link. Quoted: "Slobbyists getting real transparent about how they're abusing SA to find vulnerable, naive SB's to scam into free sex. How do we stop this?" OK, I'm not trying to scam girls, nor am I looking to fuck them on the cheap, but since I'm not immediately offering wads of cash, I will be perceived as a cheap slobbyist by the sensitive and radical sex workers who get easily bent out of shape if you don't conform 100% with their world view. It's just easier avoiding that minefield by keeping silent.

 

[blackram]

It's like when Uber first started and the taxi drivers started getting worried. This is becoming like an Uber for sex workers.

 

[Ryan1967]

I saw that tweet from Daisy...what a turn off for...no chance I will ever see her after that...

 

[HUBGFEsup]

LOL. As Daisy's friend, I find myself smiling and nodding along to some of her beliefs, though she is way more restrained than some of her compatriots. I haven't told her I'm on SA. Her more militant friends would be up my ass if they found out &#55357;&#56834;

 

[Jingles]

Business is already bad for most and they have to deal with SA. I can see where they would be pissed but they look like whiney bitches because of it. Occupational Hazard!

BR, Uber is a very good analogy for this!

 

[blackram]

I Tweeted back to her, trying to reassure them that this SA stuff is only for single guys, married men will be coming to see regular SP's and MA's.

 

[Jingles]

Thin skinned or social media retarded! Hmmmmmm

They should be using it to their advantage not their disadvantage...

 

[HUBGFEsup]

Two week update:

I kinda lost interest in the site. I'm still receiving messages, but more sporadically now.

Girl 2 and I are still texting occasionally. There's no real interest from her or I to move it forward. In fact, I was wandering around downtown today, staring into my phone screen as I was waiting to cross the street, when looked up momentarily to catch a glimpse of her waiting on the other side of the crossing, except by the time I looked up, she had just finished pivoting and walking down the street (instead of crossing). Maybe she wanted to avoid an awkward encounter. Maybe she is hoping I didn't notice her. We haven't texted about this.

 

[paul mott]

UC sorry to hear this has gone downhill for you and while we try and put on a brave face it still can sting. The real dating world is just the same, so much trial and lots of error. Nevertheless we keep trying as it's such a strong desire. In spite of the nay sayers SA has it's advantages over just an sp/ma, and it's a refreshing change even though its far from perfect. Most are tired of hearing the sp girls whining about it, but they normally don't provide what SA girls do, so two different choices. It's nice to meet girls who aren't tainted or influenced by sp girls.

 

[HUBGFEsup]

Ehhh, I could take it or leave it. I never really expected anything out of it, and really the curiosity factor (spurned by your initially positive experience and the experiences of others in the TERB SA thread before it turned into a shitshow) made me intrigued enough to sign up and at least see what it was like.

I'm partially at fault for not being a reliable dance partner. Some nice girls have contacted me and put some real effort into those messages, but I simply didn't respond if they weren't attractive to me. Some attractive girls have contacted me but didn't have much substance, so I didn't respond to those either.

This script is flipped on normal dating sites where guys are the pursuers and girls are usually mass-ignoring or mass-deleting girls.

 

[paul mott]

So true that SA is the opposite of normal dating sites, as on SA the girls are the pursuers but of course it's in large part because money is involved, and we know how much girls like money! As well, there are more of them than guys, so more competition for them. I liked sitting back and waiting for them to contact me and thereby saving me from doing the work, and at least if they contact you, then it shows some level of interest, so less time wasted chasing them to a dead end. Guys who have the time, patience, and also who can host, will at some point find a pretty good match.

 

[HUBGFEsup]

Three week update/observations: The number of messages received have reduced drastically. The number of hits on my profile have also reduced drastically.

This might corroborate some of the TERB guys' reports that the activity dies down as the month progresses, and then suddenly increases in the last week before the Premium Membership expires. That's bizarre though, because there's no way for someone looking at a Premium Member's profile to see how many days of privileges remain... unless they're bots! We'll see.

 

[blackram]

It does sound like bots to me. I wonder if all of those SP's up in arms over SA are going to be as upset if they find out most of them are bots?

 

[HUBGFEsup]

I can hear the complaints from the escorts now. "The men are spending money chasing and exploiting bots, money that should otherwise be paying my bills! How do we warn the girls on SA to stay vigilant?"

 

[HUBGFEsup]

My one month Premium membership is over. Final thoughts.

There was definitely diminishing interest (number of messages and hits on my profile) as the four weeks progressed.

As a parting gift, SeekingArrangement activated a complimentary "Attract Boost" on my profile, which normally costs a few dollars for a 24h boost in visibility. I don't know exactly how that makes someone more visible on the website, but I definitely received a flood of hits on my profile, along with a few more messages, none really worth pursuing as many of them were from out of Ottawa which might indicate that my profile was being promoted across a larger market during this final blitz. This surge might be what guys on TERB reported experiencing in their final moments of their Premium membership, as a method by SeekingArrangement to retain subscribers.

Overall, over the four weeks, 62 conversations (e-mails) took place, most of which were started by girls (I initiated conversations with only a handful I found very attractive). I'd estimate that I didn't bother replying to half of the messages which comprised out-of-towners, girls who didn't put much effort into their messages, and girls I didn't find attractive.

The sex workers who sent me messages were Pamela @ AT/PS, Ren @ Brass Club, Brooke @ Brass Club, and Faye @ Brass Club. Faye actually put effort and sincerity into her message.

A few other sex workers viewed or favourited my profile, including Maria @ CMJ, Cherri @ CMJ, Nicole @ Brass Club, Adorable Ashley, Rosslyn (formerly of CMJ ages ago), and Dani @ CMJ.

I will be deleting my account. Interesting experiment.

 

[paul mott]

Appreciated your experiences, views and opinions from your time on SA. It's a site between sex worker ads, and normal dating site ads, as SA has the financial aspect, but it's also girls and guys looking for more of a connection as well. SP's and MA's often don't have bf because they do that kind of work, but they still have the desire to do other things with a guy, as they miss that aspect of it, so SA fills both needs for them as well as guys, but without the formality of a committed relationship. The screening and trial and error part is the same as we do for working girls, as well as in the real dating world, and it can be time consuming and frustrating, but rewards are definitely possible.