What would you do if your son was gay?

[Raiden]

My son is 18 and to be honest I am with Guido. I would still love him but I am happy that he is straight, but hopefully not a pervert like his father!! Olayda states some excellent points of the extra baggage that comes along with a young man being gay, which is a big part of the reason I say what I say too.

"NOT that there is anything wrong with it."

 

[iceman_dci]

Very true except for the few that try it and decided they like it. I knew a woman that was married for years and happy. She was eventually swept off her feet by another woman and left her husband.

To be honest I wouldn't be happy if my son turned out gay, any straight Dad that says other wise is full of shit but if it happened I would still consider him my son and love him.

,Not true Guido.

My son is 18 and almost all growed up. I would honestly not be unhappy if he came out.

However, I would understand perfectly well that at some point he will likely be faced with difficult decisions, worry, doubt, fear, possibly depression and some very uncomfortable situations in his life. Certainly many more than your aveage straight young man.

Now that would distress me.

My son is 18 and to be honest I am with Guido. I would still love him but I am happy that he is straight, but hopefully not a pervert like his father!! Olayda states some excellent points of the extra baggage that comes along with a young man being gay, which is a big part of the reason I say what I say too.

"NOT that there is anything wrong with it."

All good points...fact of the matter is, that I would still love my son the way I do now and wouldn't change a thing.

 

[a 1 player]

I wouldn't do a damn thing.

 

[Tgirl Nikki]

First of all, thank you to everyone for the kind wishes and condolences; while I'm sad my grandmother is gone, I'm more relieved than anything. She was 89 years old, and spent her last years in considerable pain, but she went quietly and peacefully at the end, after living a very full life; we should all be so lucky. S'agapo Yiayia. <3

Secondly, there are many theories about the biological root of sexual desires, many of which have existed for decades; however, there has been little to no empirical evidence to support these theories, despite the fact that they've been around for so long. That suggests to me that sexuality is a lot more complicated than we can even imagine, and there probably isn't a a simple cause-and-effect relationship between body and sexuality. Regardless, this thread wasn't about the root of homosexuality, and after years of research, I've stopped worrying about why we like what we like, and I prefer to spend my time concentrating on how to enjoy myself instead.

Lastly, getting back to the main question in this thread, I too would be concerned for my gay son's well-being, but I don't think that gay people's challenges are much harder than those faced by straights... they're different, but not necessarily harder. Gays and straights both have trouble finding someone to love, and to be loved by, and being a healthy, happy person has nothing to do with sexuality.

I would worry more about my gay son contracting HIV, but I'd also worry about my straight son getting someone pregnant; so, no matter who my kid sleeps with, I'll still teach him to practice safer sex at every opportunity. I might be a little more concerned about my gay son getting assaulted, but that would be a concern for a straight son, too; so, I'll teach him to defend himself long before it becomes an issue. The values I'll impart to my children, such as self-respect, confidence, empathy for others, and pride in their individuality, have absolutely nothing to do with their sexual tastes.

And just as SillyGirl said, I'd still be expecting grandkids! :great: I have every intention of having my own biological children in the next few years, and both of my parents are eagerly awaiting the chance to spoil the hell out of them!

 

[Beenthere123]

Have him redecorate, the place looks awful.

Your handle should have been oddbad.

 

[JackassJack]

I wouldn't do a damn thing.

+ 1

No actually I would do a damn thing. Let him get some new hot young GFs (which he is useless for them) and pass them to me

 

[dreamblade]

The concern with having a homosexual son and the defensive responses about paternal love are heartwarming. However, what if your daughter declared herself a lesbian? What if your child, declared male or female (based upon a scientific form of determinism, categorization, and segregation) decided they were trans, or genderqueer (rejecting both constructed male or female identities)?

What about Butler's gender performativity which suggests that these categorizations further preexisting forms of social control? (I agree).

Life is fucking hard no matter who you are, get over it and love your children. Question why social organization and institutions are the way they are (please).

We live in such a phallo-centric world and I challenge any to deny that. Because, on an individual I do not believe that I can completely undo gender classifications I'll fight for equity between all people.

This topic affects us all, engage with it.

+1
Although human behaviour, sexuality, and gender roles fascinate me, I also know when to step back from the microscope, and just accept things that are. As I would very much love to have children of my own, I realise that I may face them being LGBTQQ (adding an extra Q for Becky). This is not something my parents had to deal with, or their parents.

The advantage I have over them is that I know many people who live alternate lifestyles, and hope to teach the strength in diversity to my offspring. I may be male, straight, and white, but I am Pagan and Poly. I've come out about my spiritual path to my parents 10 years ago. My mother cried.

I will never tell them of my alternate sexuality.

If my spawn realise they are different in some way, I won't be looking for the why's or how's, just see that they are. More important to me will be are they kind? strong? ambitious? independent?

Those are the traits that matter.

 

[mistermello]

The real question should be, are you so prejudiced that you'd rather die alone, instead of having your non-hetero kid hold your hand at the end?

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother Nikki.

You nailed it! Last paragraph is perfect but it's not just about our end. It's also about our children going all the way through their lives knowing that their Dad loved them unconditionally.

 

[HOF]

I would throw him out of the house.

What would you do if your daughter said she a lesbian or bisexual?
What would you do if your brother/sister/cousin ?
What would you do or have done if your parents became GLBT?

What would you do if your child was born with and had:
1. Cerebral palsy
2. Down syndrome
3. Spina-bifida
4. Polio
5. Cancer
6. Heart ailments
7. Educational/Learning disabilities
8. Any of these disorders
9. Parkinsons
10. Huntingtons

Would you kick them out because
they were different?
because they weren't what you wanted them to be?
because they were too short?
Because they were too heavy?
Because they fell in love with someone from a different cultural background?
Because they fell in love with someone from a different religious background?
Because they didn't go to post secondary school and are content in their career/job?

El fantasmo all you have done is open yourself to everyone that you are a prejudiced homophobe that would hurt his entire family because of a choice someone made.

I would be more concerned if I had a child that wanted to go into the military or travel to certain unsafe places in the world. I would be more concerned that if I had a child, he or she may not have a career, environment or sustainable future.

If I had a child that came to me and said Dad (yikes just on that word), I'm GLBT. I'd probably giggle from the initial shock, but then, I would discuss how he/she came to that conclusion and if my child (which I don't have any) was happy, healthy, educated, employed and found someone he or she cared for, I'd support them.

CG said your post was ridiculous. Your post El fantasmo is just archaic and ignorant.

 

[lagavulin]

What would you do if your son was gay?

I would throw him out of the house.

That's because you are a simple minded troll.
The first post, of a genuine question on an issue, would not be making a ludicrous statement.

 

[The Options Menu]

I don't think it's that black and white. And I do believe that while some, maybe most, gays were "born" gay, for many others, it's a little more complicated than that.

But whether it's a choice or not is beside the point. Unless you believe that there's something wrong with being gay. Otherwise, why should it matter whether your son/daughter/uncle/friend/coworker's sexuality is a choice or not?

I have a member of my immediate family who is deeply closeted because of geography, and fear of repercussions in the community, at work, and from family. He's functionally bi, but I suspect he's gay, male, horny, and wanting human companionship. I see what it's doing to him. I wish he'd come out then come here.

If I ever breed, they can have consensual safer sex with whomever they want...

(Half the reason for the quote is the very good nurture vs. nature statement, though when I steal it I'll probably strike the maybe from in front of the most.)