Today I found out my employer and boss is having an affair with his personal secretary. He's been married 24 years to a wonderful woman and behind her back he's engaging in an affair with a woman half his age. It is obvious to me the young woman is using him for the extra benefits I'm sure he's affording her. I find this much worse than ladies for hire because she's playing with his emotions for personal gain. I find his actions inexcusable and I am considering telling his obviously better half. I am sleeping on it and attempting to collect my thoughts as to making the right decision and talking out loud here in hopes of some guidance without flaming. I know some of you may think this is normal but I don't believe it is.
- Thread starter Baz
- Start date
B
Boing
Guest
Baz, Fuzz off and mind your own business.
Let the lawyers deal with it when it's due.
Now go lick on Ida's pussy.
Let the lawyers deal with it when it's due.
Now go lick on Ida's pussy.
SillyGirl
Senior Member
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2017
- Messages
- 7,246
Wow. um, my advice is to mind your own business. You don't know the arrangement between the boss and his wife. You don't know the arrangement between the boss and his secretary. You are assuming the secretary is "playing with his emotions" and assuming the wife doesn't already know.
Just leave it alone, and start looking for another job. You're gonna need one, no matter what course of action you choose.
Just leave it alone, and start looking for another job. You're gonna need one, no matter what course of action you choose.
- Thread starter
- #5
SillyGirl said:
Thank you SillyGirl but unless I go public there will be no need to find another job. The question is if I will be able to contain my anger and remain silent. I do know his wife well and I assure you she knows nothing about it nor would she condone his behavior. If I had any indication she was ok with the affair of course I would mind my business but the fact she's being blind sided is the issue in my eyes. They have 2 wonderful children and what would this do to them? If I go public the lives of 3 innocent people will never be the same, if I remain silent the wolf will continue to pull the wool over the lambs eyes...I'm in a spot I don't want to be in.
B
Boing
Guest
Baz said:
LOL, you are calling me a troll?
That is only because you are upset that Ida blew me and took Hof and Gomes' dicks up her ass.
- Thread starter
- #7
Boing said:
For a person who jumps in upset claiming his feelings have been hurt you are very crude and obnoxious. I'm assuming you are also single because I cannot believe any woman with half a brain would have anything to do with you. I guess it explains why you pay to play.
Maurice Boscorelli
Senior Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2010
- Messages
- 19,322
First off if you tell her bet your bottom dollar that she will tell him who told her.
So you would committing career suicide Baz. Not to mention if you did that to me you would find yourself hospitalized for quite a long period of time.
Also as well as you think you know them believe me when I say you are just an outsider with no real knowledge of their intimacy issues or their marital problems.
This is a time to keep your mouth shut and if it bothers you that much then leave your place of employment while you can still get a good reference. Remember nobody respects a snitch.
So you would committing career suicide Baz. Not to mention if you did that to me you would find yourself hospitalized for quite a long period of time.
Also as well as you think you know them believe me when I say you are just an outsider with no real knowledge of their intimacy issues or their marital problems.
This is a time to keep your mouth shut and if it bothers you that much then leave your place of employment while you can still get a good reference. Remember nobody respects a snitch.
SillyGirl
Senior Member
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2017
- Messages
- 7,246
Baz said:
If you keep what you think you know to yourself, which you should, you will soon find it very difficult to continue to work for your boss.
No matter how well you know the wife, you don't know the inner workings of their relationship. The only people who really know what's going on in a marriage are the two people in it.
Maurice Boscorelli
Senior Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2010
- Messages
- 19,322
Baz said:
Listen can you be anymore obtuse?
You are on a escort review board need I remind you of that.
oldguyzer
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2011
- Messages
- 15,067
Baz said:
Welcome to the real world. Women have been playing men, and to some extent vice versa, for millennia. Obviously, your employer doesn't think the woman he's married to is as wonderful as you do, and it's his decision (regardless of how you think of it), so stop judging him. And her. Maybe she actually isn't manipulating him the way you think.
Baz said:
You have zero right or obligation to tell her, and doing so shows you are incapable of keeping anything private. No matter what you personally think, this is between those two. If you believe you are unfairly treated because of their relationship then there are better avenues to pursue the matter of unfairness. Otherwise, butt out. Not your business. Not your right to tell the spouse. Not your right to judge the two of them.
But then, your indignation obviously means you will ignore all the advice you're given, and do what you said anyway. May the consequences not surprise you.
- Thread starter
- #15
I'm going in late today to collect my thoughts and attempt to deal with the situation. Thank you for the advice folks. I will be taking the weekend to further think about it and not make a rash decision. I may confront the individual later this afternoon who I have known for many years. I'm hoping once he shares his reasoning maybe it will calm my angst about the situation. Just to put this relationship into perspective, he is 56 and very successful, she is 26 and rents an apartment, doesn't own a car and recently was given the position. She's been with the company 5 months which is hardly enough time to fall head over heel over an older man. At this point it wouldn't surprise me if he was also a client of pay for play. He was my mentor and this is probably why it bothers me so much.
oldguyzer
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2011
- Messages
- 15,067
Why does it matter what his relationship with her is? Unless he is favoring her very obviously, in which case you need to go to the labour board if you feel you've been unfairly passed over for something, then it's between him and her. Confronting will just prove to him you are nosy, can't mind your own business, and can't separate work from personal. If one of my employees did that to me, I'd not look on it kindly.
You have no idea how long it takes her to fall for him, or why. Don't judge everyone by your experiences. Also, age is no concern of yours. A 30 year age difference is significant, but 26 is old enough for her to know what she's doing and why.
All you are going to do is make yourself, and them, uncomfortable and prove you are a meddling person. Even thinking about telling your boss' wife that he's having an affair proves you are a righteous judgmental person, with your own moral high-handedness more important than other people's lives.
Back off and mind your own business.
You have no idea how long it takes her to fall for him, or why. Don't judge everyone by your experiences. Also, age is no concern of yours. A 30 year age difference is significant, but 26 is old enough for her to know what she's doing and why.
All you are going to do is make yourself, and them, uncomfortable and prove you are a meddling person. Even thinking about telling your boss' wife that he's having an affair proves you are a righteous judgmental person, with your own moral high-handedness more important than other people's lives.
Back off and mind your own business.
- Thread starter
- #18
Oldguyzer, it's not a situation of her performance or perks affecting my job. Our tasks do not cross paths but it is more a situation of the relationship I have with the couple affected by the actions of an adulterer. We are friends outside of work. I'm full aware of feelings changing between couples as the years go by but I believe in cases as this one should seek help not another individual. If all options are exhausted then a divorce maybe the answer but not running into the arms of another is wrong.
oldguyzer
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2011
- Messages
- 15,067
Baz said:
This is your opinion...and your opinion only. You are trying to impose your beliefs and values on others, who are not impacting you in any way that is material to the argument. If they are happy, why can't you let them be? I understand you feel for the spouse, but you do not know the circumstances and hence should not interfere.
You will cause far more harm than good by doing ANYTHING about this...except swell your own sense or moral superiority.
G
Guido
Guest
Baz, it won't end good for you if you stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
