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- Thread starter Jessica Rain
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TFZL1
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You know who is not speaking up in all these sexual harassment outings? Are any men speaking out about the women who willingly gave out sexual favours in return for preferential roles or positions? I suspect there has been a lot of quid pro quo going on for a long time. How many women got roles or positions or jobs by willingly putting out? Usually long after the fact it come out in memoiors or biographies. Madonna openly admitted that she fucked producers to get her way. How many movie stars or politicians did the same.
Do those men that got used as stepping stones now need to speak out? I suspect it’s coming.
I know this won’t be a popular opinion on this topic, I’m just saying the door swings both ways.
Do those men that got used as stepping stones now need to speak out? I suspect it’s coming.
I know this won’t be a popular opinion on this topic, I’m just saying the door swings both ways.
A very smart comment and a topic that should be discussed. I dare a woman to give her pov.
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Dare accepted. Any consensual agreement between two legally aged humans is a non issue. Are there people out there willing to take the offer? Absofuckinglutely! Is it wrong? Depends on who you ask. I have been in both a willing participant and unwilling recipient; rest assured, there is a huge difference. One is based on power and the other isn't. The problem comes when a person doesn't have the capacity to understand power dynamics. Women like Madonna own their sexual power and make their own decisions concerning it even if it's unpalatable at times, they will utilize what's available to them. Other women have a different amygdala reaction and it's disgust and revulsion. It's not unreasonable or wrong, it's the way they are hardwired and power mongers love to force submission from those unwilling to concede. That's where the violation comes in.
"Do those men that got used as stepping stones now need to speak out?" Coffee actually spewed out of my nose as I read this, thanks for that. I'm confident in saying they probably don't feel "used". In a consensual transaction, everyone gets what they want. There might be some of them sweating because they aren't sure if it actually was consensual tho, an less than enviable position to be sure.
smiles, cat
"Do those men that got used as stepping stones now need to speak out?" Coffee actually spewed out of my nose as I read this, thanks for that. I'm confident in saying they probably don't feel "used". In a consensual transaction, everyone gets what they want. There might be some of them sweating because they aren't sure if it actually was consensual tho, an less than enviable position to be sure.
smiles, cat
:-Cool/"
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Well ain't much more needing to be said after that. I read the title, I read the replies, I read this and yup - that works.
Thread Closed
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R
ReservoirDog
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Pamela Anderson is doubling down on comments made to Megyn Kelly about Harvey Weinstein’s accusers knowing what they were getting into when they went to his hotel room alone … and says she won’t apologize.
Anderson tells TMZ, “This is not victim blaming” … she never said women deserved to be abused. Pam calls Weinstein “a sexist pig and a bully.”
The former “Baywatch” star touched off a firestorm when she told Kelly, “It was common knowledge that certain producers or certain people in Hollywood or people to avoid, privately,” adding, “You know what you’re getting into if you’re going into a hotel room alone.”
Pam says she wants perpetrators punished, but adds women need the “ability of self-protection.” As for what type of self-protection, she says “There are a lot of self-protection courses. There is even a well known story of suffragettes learning martial arts.”
And she goes on to say “women [must be] aware of certain problems and how to spot them and fight them. It is totally hypocritical to ignore this.”
Pam tells us the issues are very complex, adding, “ will not get coerced into apology.”
Anderson tells TMZ, “This is not victim blaming” … she never said women deserved to be abused. Pam calls Weinstein “a sexist pig and a bully.”
The former “Baywatch” star touched off a firestorm when she told Kelly, “It was common knowledge that certain producers or certain people in Hollywood or people to avoid, privately,” adding, “You know what you’re getting into if you’re going into a hotel room alone.”
Pam says she wants perpetrators punished, but adds women need the “ability of self-protection.” As for what type of self-protection, she says “There are a lot of self-protection courses. There is even a well known story of suffragettes learning martial arts.”
And she goes on to say “women [must be] aware of certain problems and how to spot them and fight them. It is totally hypocritical to ignore this.”
Pam tells us the issues are very complex, adding, “ will not get coerced into apology.”
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The last couple of months has had me reflecting. Without question women need to be aware but the seeming ideal is that sexual coercion/harassment should never be factor to consider and is what we should be striving for as a society. That said, we are no where even close to it and it's difficult to navigate situations that will have a long term impact on your career. I've had personal experiences that were incredibly insightful into how some women see the world that was completely foreign to me prior to meeting them.
1. Childlike Naivety. The one thing that has always amazed me is how naive some people can be, both men and women. I've mentored new providers who were stunned when I explained that the clients who had convinced her that her prices are too high or her long term success was tied to whether she would do a bbbj were predatory, self motivated abusers. I actually had a woman in her 40's sit on my couch and say "Why would he lie to me?" I was floored to say the least and it was a lightbulb moment for me. I have been too trusting at times in my life but this level of innocence at her age was staggering. And it was genuine innocence, she had such a beautiful spirit but it didn't serve her well when it came to being a provider. She was being eaten alive by "slobbiests" and it was destroying her. If a woman doesn't know a man's a predator and doesn't understand the concept of power dynamics, it's an eye opening experience when faced with one.
2. Better Than. This has come to me on several occasions where women are finally put in a situation that they knew was possible but never thought it would happen to them. They thought these situations only happened to women who "asked for it" or gave off vibes of being open to a proposition or advancement. These women had a self image that they were "quality" and had the belief that men would see them as "better than that". It was an internal, ingrained victim blaming ideology that gave them a sense of false security which in the end proved illusory and detrimental because they assumed they were safe from predatory behaviours.
There are people out there who don't see it coming due to lack of awareness, those don't believe it will happen to them and those who feel they have to take the risk in order to achieve a goal. These three types (and there are many others that I'm not going to get into here) are all favourites of the sexual predator. I don't belong to the Man Hating brigade but I do believe that most men can be inclined to be the aggressor if he thinks he won't get called out, caught or believes he's untouchable. Human being are hard wired to care more about reputation than actual actions. Long term studies done over 25 years by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt have proven this time and time again. It's important that we all take responsibility for being aware of power dynamics; both men and women, hold ourselves and others accountable when we see the imbalance happening. And finally, we need to remember we are all human, flawed and finding our way so accept that things are going to be messy. We just need to willing to stick around to clean it up collectively.
smiles, cat
p.s. A great and timely read is The Righteous Mind - Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt. It was published in 2012 but I found it clearly explains how Trump was elected and why his supporters rally even now. cs
1. Childlike Naivety. The one thing that has always amazed me is how naive some people can be, both men and women. I've mentored new providers who were stunned when I explained that the clients who had convinced her that her prices are too high or her long term success was tied to whether she would do a bbbj were predatory, self motivated abusers. I actually had a woman in her 40's sit on my couch and say "Why would he lie to me?" I was floored to say the least and it was a lightbulb moment for me. I have been too trusting at times in my life but this level of innocence at her age was staggering. And it was genuine innocence, she had such a beautiful spirit but it didn't serve her well when it came to being a provider. She was being eaten alive by "slobbiests" and it was destroying her. If a woman doesn't know a man's a predator and doesn't understand the concept of power dynamics, it's an eye opening experience when faced with one.
2. Better Than. This has come to me on several occasions where women are finally put in a situation that they knew was possible but never thought it would happen to them. They thought these situations only happened to women who "asked for it" or gave off vibes of being open to a proposition or advancement. These women had a self image that they were "quality" and had the belief that men would see them as "better than that". It was an internal, ingrained victim blaming ideology that gave them a sense of false security which in the end proved illusory and detrimental because they assumed they were safe from predatory behaviours.
There are people out there who don't see it coming due to lack of awareness, those don't believe it will happen to them and those who feel they have to take the risk in order to achieve a goal. These three types (and there are many others that I'm not going to get into here) are all favourites of the sexual predator. I don't belong to the Man Hating brigade but I do believe that most men can be inclined to be the aggressor if he thinks he won't get called out, caught or believes he's untouchable. Human being are hard wired to care more about reputation than actual actions. Long term studies done over 25 years by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt have proven this time and time again. It's important that we all take responsibility for being aware of power dynamics; both men and women, hold ourselves and others accountable when we see the imbalance happening. And finally, we need to remember we are all human, flawed and finding our way so accept that things are going to be messy. We just need to willing to stick around to clean it up collectively.
smiles, cat
p.s. A great and timely read is The Righteous Mind - Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt. It was published in 2012 but I found it clearly explains how Trump was elected and why his supporters rally even now. cs
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