Awesome Quotes

[Stan Lee]

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve

Very true, try it and you will find out it works.

 

[papasmerf]

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Or the car is moving. :-Cool/"

 

[FatherJuan]

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

"Joke them if they can't take a fuck." - Robin Williams

 

[Waxed]

"Joke them if they can't take a fuck." - Robin Williams

What if they can?.

 

[papasmerf]

What if they can?.

then the good ones twice

 

[Bangon]

then the good ones twice

LOL

 

[LEE]

Take a step backward to take two forward.

 

[Snail]

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

 

[Signingin]

If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

 

[God]

If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

That is why.

 

[Danolo]

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

 

[papasmerf]

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

Hmmmmmm

Not bad

 

[bobistheowl]

"I think every dog should own a boy" - Joy Smith and Mr. Peabody.

 

[papasmerf]

As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly.

(Arthur Carlson, GM WKRP)

 

[bobistheowl]

A man desires what he wishes he deserved,
A man settles for what he can comfortably afford.

~bobistheowl

 

[bobistheowl]

There was a very cautious man, who never romped nor played.

He never smoked, he never drank, nor even kissed a maid.

But when, one day, he up and died, insurance was denied;

They said that, since he'd never lived, they claimed he's never died.

- Anonymous, (toilet stall graffiti).

 

[WeTheNorth]

"If AIDS is god's way of punishing homosexuals, then by the same logic E. Coli must be god's way of punishing people who eat meat."

"As much as we may love them, animals have no sense of esthetics - a dog will drink from the toilet, and a cat will bite the head off a mouse and eat it."


"These days many movies are rated as containing Graphic Violence and Brief Nudity - I much prefer Brief Violence and Graphic Nudity!"


"We all want to get laid, but nobody wants to get screwed."


"Knowing a lot of facts is not the same as being smart."


"People opposed to drinking are often former alcoholics, but most people who are against legalizing marijuana have never tried it."

"Beauty fades, dumb is forever."

"A gun is no longer 'The great equalizer.' Today it's the Internet and newsgroups, where anyone can be taken seriously based only on what they say and without prejudice for their physical appearance."

"The only thing worse than being incompetent is not knowing you are."




"Just because you believe something doesn't make it true."

 

[Stubby]

"If AIDS is god's way of punishing homosexuals, then by the same logic E. Coli must be god's way of punishing people who eat meat."


Man you aced that one.

 

[Oakley]

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.