Better to learn that your girl’s a sleaze bag now than later.

[Boing]

https://brobible.com/life/article/bride-cancels-wedding-cheating-on-bachelorette-party/

You have to agree on this.

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

Fu*k you Boing?.

 

[JJ Mitchell]

Before



After

 

[Edablackwood]

Wait... wait wait. So guys can go grab a provider for his stag but a girl cant have one last makeout sesh before her wedding?

 

[DannyDeVito]

Wait... wait wait. So guys can go grab a provider for his stag but a girl cant have one last makeout sesh before her wedding?

We make sure pictures aren't taken.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

Wait... wait wait. So guys can go grab a provider for his stag but a girl cant have one last makeout sesh before her wedding?

Yes it sounds like you have a good grasp of the situation....LOL

 

[cristycurves]

Yup...... out of all the stags I've done, and soon to be grooms, I just have to laugh at the irony of this post. Funny how there is a double standard for guys and girls. This girl gets called a sleaze for kissing a guy and the guys that literally have sex with another are called studs and good ole boys for getting in one last time!! Pssst!:no::no:

 

[ERecTile]

I feel sorry for the girl. To have her name, life and reputation dragged through the mud for nothing. And the writer of the article is a total sleaze bag in my opinion.

 

[Candyman]

What a bitch.

 

[Tommtom]

I think the saying goes "everything's legal until you're caught. Although there is bias..

 

[Johnnybegood]

Man, my lady has a make out sesh with another dude and it's over specially for the brother who cut my grass.

 

[catherine st.claire]

Like Christy, I have to chuckle and shake my head. The double standard is mind boggling for me. I think this is the main reason I reject the entire concept of modern marriage. A spouse isn't a possession and one can't dictate what they should/shouldn't/can't do. Does a kiss mean that a women wouldn't make a great life partner? I can't see how it impacts anything, it's just a kiss or fuck or whatever it ended up being. A simple moment in time, shared with someone. She dodged a bullet, I wouldn't want to be tied to someone for life who can't see what's important and resorts to Drama King responses like public shaming...

smiles, cat

 

[peace]

Like Christy, I have to chuckle and shake my head. The double standard is mind boggling for me. I think this is the main reason I reject the entire concept of modern marriage. A spouse isn't a possession and one can't dictate what they should/shouldn't/can't do. Does a kiss mean that a women wouldn't make a great life partner? I can't see how it impacts anything, it's just a kiss or fuck or whatever it ended up being. A simple moment in time, shared with someone. She dodged a bullet, I wouldn't want to be tied to someone for life who can't see what's important and resorts to Drama King responses like public shaming...

smiles, cat

Sorry, asking for clarification here, are you implying what she did should not matter and her fiance should be understanding about it? would you call it an open relationship/marriage?

 

[cristycurves]

I don't think there's a double standard. Anyone who is getting married would probably call it off if they knew that their "soon to be" made out (or more) with someone else right before getting married. It's not about ownership but it is about about trust. If you have a traditional relationship (monogamous) then I think either party has the right to expect honesty in the other's behavior. If a couple wants to have an open relationship, then they just have to be honest with each other. I have no problem with that.



Oh...and as for double standards....

Should a women have any more right to child custody than the father? Should a woman receive a steps stool when trying to pass a physical climbing test to become a firefighter/police officer/etc?

There are double standards everywhere. In this story, we don't know that the fiance had a stag party or did anything some of your clients may have done.

Primo, you're missing the point, it is a double standard, women are generally called sluts, sleazy and whores, when they sleep around, or step out on their mate, men are generally called studs, it's been that way for generations. No denying this and in some cultures it will bring death for the women and for men it's expected or accepted.
As far as child custody, that's a whole other ball game, and with parental rights it becomes more complicated because women carry and birth babies, something men cannot yet do, and in saying this, that does not mean all mothers are good parents. but and because they carry that child and it comes out of their body that does give them a bond to their child unlike what a father can have.
Yes there are upteem types of double standards, but you don't justify one or any, by pointing out others.....

 

[catherine st.claire]

Sorry, asking for clarification here, are you implying what she did should not matter and her fiance should be understanding about it? would you call it an open relationship/marriage?

I don't see this as a gender inequality issue but a flaw in societal views. I'm also not a label person, putting anything into boxes that don't really fit is a waste of energy so I don't do it. Kissing someone does not indicate a lack in the potential to be a great life partner imo. Even tho I'm a kissing fiend, I had a great marriage. There are far more people inclined to polyamorous ways than is realized but in our society we are conditioned to believe it's wrong, so those people are forced to sneak around instead of being allowed to embrace their journey. The bride to be was expressing herself and if she has shed the preconceived perceptions that physical expression is a sign of weakness, that the kiss was no more than simply a physical expression, then her actions are irrelevant to her future. Men have been having wild bachelor parties for decades, it doesn't disqualify them from being great life partners. It's a moment in time that doesn't indicate their future. How many men resisted the bachelor party temptations simply to step out later in the marriage? Does the stepping out mean they love their wife less? I don't believe it's a blanket result, I think it's part of their personal growth path. Some have realized their error in getting married and are acting out, others simply are being true to their enlightenment path.

Heres a meme that sticks out in my mind (I wish I knew how to load stuff into a post!)

"Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I'm going to get the government involved so you can't leave."

This concept that a relationship or marriage means control is the problem imo. I believe if you have a life commitment to someone, it doesn't matter who they develop a relationship with as long as their commitment to you and the relationship doesn't change. If it changes, then it changes. It is what it is and is a part of life. Life changes, it's the constant for all of us. People need to explore themselves, grow and evolve instead of trying to conform; if they can't do so naturally, without fear then the relationship is doomed. Dictating someone's path for them is a social exercise in failure that we can see the results of in the world now. I feel the entire monogamous belief system is flawed because it expects everyone to conform; to follow a set of rules that limit us immensely. It only works for those who are genuinely self aware understand themselves and choose to be monogamous but most people don't have the self awareness to make an informed choice, they simply follow the herd and do what's expected of them. That's when the perceived "failure" presents itself if and when their path seemingly "deviates" to include extramarital experiences it's considered failure when the truth is it was their path all along and they just didn't realize it.

smiles, cat

 

[cristycurves]

To Cat.....:YMAPPLAUSEraise-Bowing

Primo, you are a right fighter. It appears you don't agree with the standard, yet you argue it's validity. Where does it say that biologically one is "successful" if they have more offspring? I think most intelligent, forward thinking people would realize that simply means he was more promiscuous or virile, or just couldn't keep his fly zipped. Not successful
Never is it, or will it be, right to condemn one human fora behavior, then qualify and congratulate another human for the very same behavior. Biologically, physiologically, morally and in any other way, that is wrong and a double standard Justifying it, accepting it, just perpetuates the stupidity and ignorance of it

 

[peace]

Personally I think it depends on those 2 people. If they agree to remain only loyal to each other, then it is only fair to expect each other to follow this rule. If both say, "I dont want to see or explore others." is it fair if one decides to secretly break the agreement while the other maintains its commitment to the rule? I am not talking about our society's views because they become irrelevant. What is important is the 2 consenting adults agreed to follow a rule. It is their business and not ours. If one did break the rule, please respect his/her partner by admitting it. Whenever he/she decides, that is his/her prerogative.

If 2 people agree to see others while maintaining the relationship, then by all means, they should go for it.

I just don't appreciate dishonesty regardless of your gender.

 

[catherine st.claire]

Personally I think it depends on those 2 people. If they agree to remain only loyal to each other, then it is only fair to expect each other to follow this rule. If both say, "I dont want to see or explore others." is it fair if one decides to secretly break the agreement while the other maintains its commitment to the rule? I am not talking about our society's views because they become irrelevant. What is important is the 2 consenting adults agreed to follow a rule. It is their business and not ours. If one did break the rule, please respect his/her partner by admitting it. Whenever he/she decides, that is his/her prerogative.

If 2 people agree to see others while maintaining the relationship, then by all means, they should go for it.

I just don't appreciate dishonesty regardless of your gender.

I whole heartedly agree that it's imperative to have open, honest communications concerning expectations in any dynamic. The problem is that the topic is most often presents monogamy as being the only option. Due to indoctrinated monogamous belief systems, it seldom is a conversation that truly reflects the challenge of life or that there are a plethora of relationship structures that can be considered. Until people start taking responsibility for making long term decisions without truly knowing themselves, their choices will inevitably lead them into turmoil. But making an impulsive decision with intimacies doesn't make someone unworthy, it simply makes them human. The key is how they process it, learn from it and move forward...

smiles, cat

 

[Transient]

Shouldn't the male have as much say in ending a pregnancy as the female if he's going to be given the same financial responsibility?

You cant' equate financial responsibility of raising a child with a woman's right to make decisions about her own body.
You are confusing two entirely separate issues.

No, the male in the situation does not have as much say. Of course there should be discussion between the two, but the decision ultimately is the woman's choice.

 

[cristycurves]

So you agree that giving a woman a higher status when looking at parental rights is unjust, unacceptable and wrong?




Oh wait.



Cristy....haven't you figured me out yet? I'm giving you a hard time.

No....I do not think it is right that women are labeled sluts for being promiscuous while men are labeled studs. But I also have issues with any situation where someone says that one double standard is okay while another is not. Every situation can be justified somehow. If carrying the child makes gives the woman higher status, shouldn't she have more responsibility? Shouldn't child care figures reflect that? Shouldn't the male have as much say in ending a pregnancy as the female if he's going to be given the same financial responsibility?

I don't like any kinds of double standards. Situations should be looked at as Individual A and Individual B. At no point should one have some arbitrary advantage over another. That includes negatives and positives.

Primo, I respect you and appreciate your desire for fairness for all, but and apparently, I haven't figured you out, yet I haven't tried either, I read your posts and like any other post, I take it literally. Figuring out people isn't my cup of tea, we should all just say what we mean, without literal games.I apologize, I didn't think I intimated that women had higher status because they carry and birth children, just deserving of more say, I see that as a difference. But Transient expressed it better thank you Transient.

 

[ERecTile]

I think the real tragedy here is this poor girl's reputation is ruined, possibly forever. Who are we to criticize or judge her? Who is anyone? I'm no Christian, but let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone. I remember my bachelor party. Just a bunch of guys out for dinner. My buddy offered to take me drinking at a strip club later but I declined. I was too afraid of what people thought of me back then. Instead, the night before the big day, I went to East Beaver Creek and had sex with a very pleasant and friendly MPA who happened to be a traveling SP from Vancouver. Does that make me a sleazebag? Probably in some people's eyes. I'm a hobbyist after all, and I've struggled internally for years with my dual nature. By day, perfect gentleman, and other times, hobbyist. These days, I've stopped struggling with myself. I've reconciled with the fact that sex is sex, and monogamy is great on paper, but I'm still human. I still get tempted. Resisting temptation actually creates more stress while giving in occasionally will free your soul.

In my younger years, before I became what I am, I would see a hot girl on the street and think "shit, I wonder what it'd be like to have sex with her or someone as hot as her." And then I'd give up, because a guy like me would never have the chance or the balls to seize the chance if it presented itself. These days, I'll be like, "wow, she's hot, hmmm, I wonder which SP or MPA I can see today to satisfy the urge?"