Can men and women be just friends?.

[Blank_Dave]

I think it's the emotions that go along with intimacy that complicate. Once you become emotionally vested in someone, you lose objectivity.

That's why I like to say bah humbug to such things.The people I work with routinely complain that I'm always so deadpan, no matter what I'm doing, and nothing seems to up set me.

 

[RAWD]

That's why I like to say bah humbug to such things.The people I work with routinely complain that I'm always so deadpan, no matter what I'm doing, and nothing seems to up set me.

But Dave, do you really not feel or do you simply not show it?

I get comments frequently from people about how they thought I was an emotionless hardass prick until they got to know me. I tend to be pretty serious and intense when I'm working. But, deep down inside, I'm just a giant fluffball. It can be scary, but just let it out. Ive lived long enough to learn that half the time, its not that the other person doesnt feel for you. Its simply that theyre afraid to show their hand. So you go first. Nothing wagered, nothing gained, right? And frankly, life is so much better if you don't worry about whether or how you feel, but simply allow yourself to feel and show it!

 

[-b]

I am very Social, so I have friends both male and female.....
Yes I get hit on by some of my guy friends but I usually make it
very clear I am not interested......So eventually it ends up where
the guy and I start talking which woman we would do....or how to
get their wife interested in sex or 3somes......I do make sure that if
it is a couple that I have as friends that I interact with both.....

I just like joking, being silly and listening to people....Sometimes it is
what people needs is some laughter or an ear to talk too......I have
for myself now trust a few women some more than others with my
thoughts and feelings.....as for guys there are a couple at the gym that
if I had any issues or problems they have already said they are there for me...

 

[Blank_Dave]

But Dave, do you really not feel or do you simply not show it?

A little from column A and a little from column B. For the most part I just don't care, and what little I do I just don't bother to show.

My parents were very much the believers in "what does getting X/(displaying emotion Y) prove?" As such my family is very emotionally dishonest, manipulative, and showing genuine emotion is either frowned on or used. The populat emotions in the family were shave and guilt. So I built my defenses on not feeling or showing.

It can be scary, but just let it out. Ive lived long enough to learn that half the time, its not that the other person doesnt feel for you. Its simply that theyre afraid to show their hand. So you go first. Nothing wagered, nothing gained, right? And frankly, life is so much better if you don't worry about whether or how you feel, but simply allow yourself to feel and show it!

Well what the other person feels is their problem really. For the most part, I'm not here to make people happy, sad, glad or mad, nor am I responsible for how they react to my actions. And for me, it's much safer and therefore comfortable not to let people "get hooks" in to me. It may sound selfish, but I'm tired of catering to others, I'm out for myself now.

 

[peace]

My initial answer was a big yes. Now I don't think so. When sex gets involved, the friendship often becomes complicated or blurry.

 

[RAWD]

Well what the other person feels is their problem really. For the most part, I'm not here to make people happy, sad, glad or mad, nor am I responsible for how they react to my actions. And for me, it's much safer and therefore comfortable not to let people "get hooks" in to me. It may sound selfish, but I'm tired of catering to others, I'm out for myself now.

Sounds like you've spent a few hours on a sofa my friend.

My advice was for you. My point is to not worry about what other people think. Just do your thing.

Getting "hooked" is a different issue. You can't fall in love unless you allow it to happen. If you are remain skeptical and question the motive of everyone, you'll never get hooked

 

[smash]

Nope

 

[RAWD]

It just occurred to me. How many married couples are the best of friends yet have no sexual attraction?

So....sure they can! Lol.