Corniest, funniest and favorite pick up lines

[Beenthere123]

Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

 

[Darfus]

or the ever popular:

In a noisy bar:
tickle your cunt with a feather?

WHAT DID YOU SAY???

typical country WEATHER!!!!!

good one!!!

 

[RayFinkel]

How about a pizza and a FUCK?





*SLAPP*





What? You don't like pizza?

 

[Darren]

Nice legs. What time do they open?

 

[Darren]

You put my sex drive into overdrive.

 

[HOF]

Ask the bartender to:
1. make two comfortable screws against the wall and add one beer.
2. ask for some crushed ice.
3. bartender takes drinks over and you wander beside the lady, drop the ice, crush it under your shoe and say: NOW THAT THE ICE IS BROKEN, Let's enjoy a comfortable screw against the wall.


Hey cutie, wanna hook-up and piss off your parents. It's okay, I went to university with them too!


Go up to two ladies, chat up the one that is the least attractive, and you'll probably end up having a threesome! LMAO

One of my work colleagues had just become a father, so he was on the phone checkin' in with his wife and I walked by and said, "How's your wife and my kid." He replied, "Wife's fine, kids got down syndrome." Bastard!


Hey babe, once you had a short man, you never go back!

I'm built like a tripod

Cmon, we all the same when horizontal!

 

[tboy]

This isn't exactly a pickup line but I was in LavaLife Chat one night and sent a PM to this lady.

She replied:

Sorry, but I want a man with a full head of hair.

I replied:

Well, I'd like a woman without saggy boobs too but at our age, that ain't gonna happen!

LOL

To top it off, she replied: that was kind of harsh
I said: not any harsher than rejecting me because I'm bald!!!

 

[Raiden]

This isn't exactly a pickup line but I was in LavaLife Chat one night and sent a PM to this lady.

She replied:

Sorry, but I want a man with a full head of hair.

I replied:

Well, I'd like a woman without saggy boobs too but at our age, that ain't gonna happen!

LOL

To top it off, she replied: that was kind of harsh
I said: not any harsher than rejecting me because I'm bald!!!

That's a good one.

 

[ChrisD]

I replied:

Well, I'd like a woman without saggy boobs too but at our age, that ain't gonna happen!

LOL

Clever!!

 

[The Options Menu]

I've never had any luck with pickup lines. I write, speak, and think in paragraphs. Hmm, I'm missing a 3rd sentence.

 

[tboy]

I thought someone wrote this one already:

"wouldn't I be an excellant way to piss off your parents"????

 

[Hugojoe]

I thought someone wrote this one already:

"wouldn't I be an excellant way to piss off your parents"????

The funniest so far :he:

 

[Rahino]

New Smilies!!! nice!!

New Smilies!!! nice!!

:whip: :gasp: :beurk::go:

 

[tboy]

Clever!!

Yeah, for once in my life I came up with it ON TIME not 10 minutes later (which is what I usually do).....

Here's one I'm going to use when the time presents itself:

Hey, I'm new in town, what's THE thing to do on a first date?

So she'll go on to tell me which restaurant, what club, etc etc

Then I'll say:

Hey, that's great, thanks a lot, what time friday do I pick you up?

Don't know if I posted this before (and I actually used it once):

I was wandering through loblaws frozen food section one day and this really cute MILF was there looking over things, so I wrote something on my shopping list and went over to her:

Excuse me, I'm new to this store, could you tell me what aisle I can find this in (and point to the last thing on my list and it said GIRLFRIEND).

The time I tried it she laughed and said "that was cute" lol (no went no further grrrr lol)