Yahtzee: People often compliment your sweaters.
Clue: You know how British TV works. (Also you call it “Cluedo”.)
Settlers of Catan: You can identify multiple kinds of sake by taste.
Scattergories: You’ve successfully contested a parking ticket.
Risk: You have unresolved issues with your parents.
Battleship: You eat ice cream too fast and get brain freezes.
Candy Land: You believe that there are tiny people inside Mom’s iPod.
Great Train Robbery: You get the references in Quentin Tarantino movies.
Cranium: You tell people you’re a writer even though you’re an ad sales assistant, because you’ve had something published in McSweeney’s.
Balderdash: You have a wide assortment of coffee mugs, no two alike, all with stained tea rings near the top. You make fun of people who say “so many books, so little time”. Your book club is excitingly combative.
Carcassone: You put your shirts in the closet in a specific order.
Scrabble: You’ve had to lend a friend a few hundred bucks.
Dungeons and Dragons: You’ve had a writing credit on a TV show.
Monopoly: You love telling people about the time you voted Republican.
Your city’s version of Monopoly: You know about minor league baseball rivalries.
Mancala: You’ve used an apple to smoke pot.
Life: You watch Whitney because “at the end of the day I just want to turn my brain off.”
Sorry: You follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.
Bananagrams: Your purse is a tote bag from a bookstore.
Boggle: You take pictures of funny signs.
Chess: You’re evangelistic about not using Facebook.
Checkers: You know when and where it’s legal to hunt deer.
Chinese checkers: Your entire house is carpeted. You have a stocked pantry and exercise equipment in the basement. You used to own a Saturn.
Backgammon: You drink scotch.
Go: You call unwanted job offers “spam”.
Connect Four: You are on a bad first date at a coffeeshop and the other person will not finish their damn drink.
Othello/Reversi: You independently invented the premises of The Matrix and The Truman Show.
Parcheesi: You are so fucking bored.
Trouble: You look forward to the automated car wash.
Apples to Apples: You like to plan day trips.
Stratego: You made a sandwich for dinner.
Axis & Allies: You could afford to eat sushi every night, but you made a sandwich for dinner.
Diplomacy: You have never, to your knowledge, actually lost an argument.
Operation: You claim you can taste the differences between M&M colors.
Zombies!!!: You think you’re the first person to add bacon to a particular baked good. You buy clothes from ThinkGeek.
Jenga: You run a youth group.
Pandemic: You send your kids to a school without gym class.
Trivial Pursuit: You’re a “continuing education student” at a local college and you don’t see why the younger students don’t want to participate in class.
Pay Day: You can explain why house rules “break” Monopoly by dragging it on.
Snakes and Ladders: You read Highlights and you think Stone Soup is pretentious.
Pictionary: You remind people that hallucinogenics have fewer long-term effects than alcohol.
Taboo: You’ve been meaning to take some improv classes.
Mouse Trap: You think it’s OK to shove people in a crowd if you say “excuse me” a lot.
Twister: Very cute, Horny McGrabbyHands. We said pick a board game.
