Made with Love

First year of marriage is the hardest, survey shows.

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After my first week I knew I was doomed. You?.

THE joy of marriage barely lasts to the end of the honeymoon, with a survey showing the first year after a wedding is the hardest.

People married for less than a year are less satisfied with life than people in any other year of marriage, according to the health fund Australian Unity's latest Wellbeing Index .
The findings suggest the financial stresses of paying off a wedding and buying a home are to blame for the discontent.

People married for less than a year have an average Personal Wellbeing Index score of 73.9, at the bottom end of the normal range of between 73.8 and 76.7.
However, satisfaction with life bounces back in the second year of marriage and the happiest married people of the lot are those that have stuck together for more than 40 years or more (79.8).

By their second year of marriage, the Personal Wellbeing Index score for married people rises to 78.4 and stays at the top end or above the normal range every year after that.
People who have stuck together for more than 40 years or more are the happiest (79.8).

The lowest wellbeing is reported by separated people whose wellbeing score is just 69.2 but those who separate and remarry recover their sense of wellbeing.
The survey found the lower wellbeing in the first year of marriage was linked to lower levels of satisfaction with a standard of living.

Though recently married people would have newly acquired access to their partner's income, they also bear the costs of a wedding and potentially a new house, which could drain monetary resources, the survey says.

The average cost of a wedding in Australia ranges from $36,200, according to IBISWorld, to as high as $48,296 according to a survey Bride to Be magazine.
The report's lead author Deakin University's Dr Melissa Weinberg says de facto couples do not show the same low levels of life satisfaction in their first year together.

"So it boils down to what I call a wedding hangover, couples building up to the wedding day as the best day of their life, and then finding reality biting as they tote up their wedding bills and get back to work after the honeymoon," she said.

"The message for newly married couples is to persevere through that first frantic year, and reap the rewards later."
Rohan Mead, group managing director of Australian Unity, said the research showed the close link between a stable relationship and wellbeing.

Married people exhibit the highest wellbeing of any group, closely followed by those who are widowed or in de facto relationships.


 
Fifth year of marriage is the toughest


A study of 2,000 married people found the first year was described as a whirlwind of wedded bliss by most, while the third year of marriage was said to be the happiest of all as couples settle into a comfortable co-existence after ironing out any earlier issues.
However just two years later, couples reported the fifth as the most difficult to get through, due to factors such as tiredness and exhaustion amid increasing workloads.
Those surveyed voted seven years to be "the wall" which, if scaled successfully, paves the way for a long, happy and lasting relationship.
One in 10 admitted 'they didn't realise how hard" marriage would be and others confessed to suffering an emotional '"comedown" after the high of their wedding day, with one in five admitting there are days when they regret the decision to get hitched completely.

Unbalanced sex drives, different hobbies or social preferences were found to provide stumbling blocks after the first few years.

The study found half of those questioned said their wedding day was the happiest of their life.

But that warm glow appears to have quickly faded for many, with a third admitting the love in their marriage has reduced since the big day.

Amanda McAlister, family lawyer at Slater & Gordon, which carried out the research, said couples should not forget that a happy marriage takes effort.

She said: "It's not very often that we see clients in those first few years of marriage but by the five year mark or a couple of years after they have children we often have married couples asking us for advice.


"The buzz of the first few years where everything is new is hard to maintain and often people find that married life hasn't lived up to their expectations.

"We encourage anyone having doubts at this point in their marriage to really think about whether it's a crisis that can't be overcome.

"Often those clients will just be having a hard time and six months later their marriage will have completely turned a corner.

''Most things can be worked through with counselling but if there are more lows than highs that's the point when you might want to get legal advice."

Press Association

https://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/fifth-year-of-marriage-is-the-toughest-new-survey-29613485.html
 
Marriage is something that needs to be nurtured and worked on everyday. It's a give and take and you must keep in mind to give one another space when needed and comfort when in need. Nothing in life is easy and it's human nature to believe the grass is greener on the other side.
 
Marriage is something that needs to be nurtured and worked on everyday. It's a give and take and you must keep in mind to give one another space when needed and comfort when in need. Nothing in life is easy and it's human nature to believe the grass is greener on the other side.

When in fact the grass it always greener over the septic tank.
 
When in fact the grass it always greener over the septic tank.

True but who is to say the person looking does not also have a septic tank on his property. If there is one septic tank and drilled well in the neighborhood there are surly more don't you agree?
 
True but who is to say the person looking does not also have a septic tank on his property. If there is one septic tank and drilled well in the neighborhood there are surly more don't you agree?

Lawns are a cruel joke

you work your ass off the nurture it, you water and weed it.

Then when it is strong and healthy you fire up the lawn mower and cut it down to size.
 
Lawns are a cruel joke

you work your ass off the nurture it, you water and weed it.

Then when it is strong and healthy you fire up the lawn mower and cut it down to size.

I would call this a responsible home owner.
 
In your past marriage did your ex spouse think you were a bit of a control freak?
 
In your past marriage did your ex spouse think you were a bit of a control freak?

not me

I wanted to concrete the lawn
she like you wanted to encourage it only to strike it down when it grew.
 
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