I was banned from the 'red-T' board on May 30, but only from "The Lounge", not the other forums. I started a thread about "BBW"s, and in my penultimate Lounge post, I said this: 'There's certainly a market for large Escorts who are beautiful, but big and not beautiful? Maybe for the guys with double digit budgets. Any guy with one nose and all of his teeth ought to be able to get laid for free by hanging out in the ice cream aisle of a Sobey's between 8:15 and 8:30 on a Friday night, depending on how badly he wants to bust a slump'.
I just naturally assumed that people understood that bust a slump means "end a period of involuntary celibacy", and in my final post, I even provided a link to the definition of the word "slumpbuster" from urbandictionary.com For those who don't know what the word means, according to baseball tradition, if a batter has gone hitless for an extended period of time, he can regain his form by having sex with a very large and unattractive woman, to change his luck.
I could have expressed exactly the same sentiment this way: "Hey you, fat/ ugly/ short/ and or bald guy of modest means, rubbing one out to streaming porn on a Friday night, and living vicariously through the sex lies of men who shoot fish in barrels. You could get laid tonight, and every night, without spending a dime. All you have to do is chat up women that no one else wants to fuck.
The logic of my post was sound: A large and unattractive woman who is buying ice cream at 8:15 - 8:30 on a Friday night has written off the evening, but only recently. She's sat through Entertainment Tonight and Jeopardy!, waiting and hoping for the phone to ring, and now she's made her comfort food run, before watching a favorite Rom Com with the cats. If you were hunting ducks, you would set up your blind before dawn on the edge of a swampy marsh, plop a few decoys in the water, and wait. If you're trying to land a fugly, you linger near the frozen treats, and chances are, one of the larger ladies who shows up would rather fuck than eat the ice cream.
It's possible that one of the advertisers was initially offended by my suggestion that fugly tail ought to be obtainable for $99 or less, but I really think that she knows nothing about baseball, and just naturally assumed that "bust a slump" referred to some violent act perpetrated against large, unattractive women. I didn't expect all women to understand what "bust a slump" means, but I did expect a moderator on an escort review forum to know what it means. It's not a really polite remark, but it doesn't merit a permanent ban.
The initial post of that thread asked the question "What term would you use to describe a woman who is big, but not beautiful?", and that's a very valid point, in an Escort review forum. Guys buy sex in a lot of shapes, sizes, and price ranges, but there's one thing they can all agree on: No man, EVER, wants to pay for tail that he would decline, if it were offered to him for free.
Now, any red-blooded man with hair on his bag generally would want to have sex with a woman who has both a beautiful face and a beautiful body, and many will be willing to pay for that privilege. If a woman has a beautiful face, she's still beautiful if she's carrying extra pounds, and she only loses that distinction if she gains so much weight that it accumulates on her face, in quantity. Men respect the butterface, because she has made the most of what she could be, physically, in the same way that a man would respect a basketball player like Larry Bird or Tyler Hansbrough, guys who lack God given talent, but make up for it with hard work.
There are lots of guys who don't care at all about what their sexual partners look like, and guess what: They don't read escort review forums!. In the civilian world, it's perfectly acceptable to refer to ANY large woman as a BBW, ("Big Beautiful Woman"), but in the world of pay for play sex, it isn't. Not in an industry where "everyone lies" about their appearance. Not in an industry where many of the providers do not show their faces in their advertisements. Not in an industry where the photographs used in advertising may be modified, or non current. Not in an industry where an honest but timid reviewer may refer to the provider, directly or indirectly, as "beautiful", just to 'be kind'. Not in an industry where a less timid reviewer may be silenced for expressing unpopular truths.
A woman with a great bod and a so so face is a butterface. That's not an insult, it's a compliment, because ALL of her sex appeal has been earned. If she decides to gain 150 lbs, that only makes her beautiful in acronyms and 'feel good' slogans.
I'm not some elitist snob that thinks he's too good for the world. I'm heavier than I should be, but lighter than I was this time last year. I can take pounds off quickly if I have sufficient time and motivation. I have trouble keeping the pounds from returning, if/when I lose the motivation. I'm tall, and I have a full head of hair.
(This is funny, but true: In June, 2011, I shaved my ass cheeks a day before a booked session, and the hair never grew back, (not the ass crack hair, just the cheeks). I wonder how many other guys my age, (53), can truthfully say that they have full, thick hair on top of their head, but hair no longer grows on their ass!).
If I was 30 years old, I guess my body shape would be letting himself go, but in my age group, I'm in mid range, not so much for my own diligence, but more because most of my peers do less physical exertion than I do, or they drink more alcohol, (for me, less than ten times per year). I have good legs, because I walk a lot, and if I wanted to drop five or more pounds a month, I could do that by walking three hours a day, every day.
I would probably rate my own face lower than other people would. When I walk down the sidewalk, attractive young women often smile at me when we pass, even when my fly is up. I think I look good in the mirror, (maybe a 6 - 6.5 overall, but much higher for my age group, because I'm often assumed to be about 35). My curse, or one of them, anyway, is that I'm extremely unphotogenic. I never take a good picture. I still carry around my health card from two cards ago, because it's the only good picture of me I have.
I'm primarily attracted to a woman from the neck up: face and brain. If she has an attractive body as well, all the better, but if I had the choice between two women with identical personalities, I'd rather go out with the pretty, heavy girl than the butterface. I like long conversations with lots of eye contact, and I like that feeling where it seems like you're in the Cone of Silence from Get Smart, when you're in a public place, and no one else matters. You get that when you're with a woman who is capable of commanding one's undivided attention. If you're with a butterface, it's a lot harder to maintain eye contact, and full concentration. You feel the urge to stare at her tits, when her head is turned. You scan the room, to see if there's someone else who pleases your eyes more. She may be able to provide all the things that you need, but not everything that you desire. A man desires what he wishes he deserved.
My other curse is that I'm a magnet to large and facially unattractive women. More than ten times in my life, larger sized civilian women have unabashedly propositioned me for on-the-spot sex, (well, not right on-the-spot every time, but immediately). I knew all of them, but didn't know any of them particularly well - no more than two hours spent with any of them socially, and that amount of time often accumulated over months or years. I had never asked any of them out, or even playfully flirted with any of them. I said yes to two, and no to the rest.
I have several female friends that I personally consider to be fugly, mostly friends of friends and spouses of friends initially. We get along fine, because I don't care what my friends look like; I wouldn't want to be involved physically with any of them. That's not why we're friends. In a few cases, I've acted as their 'anti wingman' at clubs, where I hang out with three of them, and they flirt intermittently, and otherwise just talk to me. My main purpose is to keep unwanted guys from inviting themselves over. Many women use a gay guy for this role, but guys will come over anyway, if they know, or can tell that the guy is gay. A tall guy who looks like he may be there with one of them and her two friends works much better, and it's a lot easier to get a straight guy to leave, if they don't need him anymore - the gay will want to stay, to eavesdrop.
I've also been out on civvie dates with six or seven women that I would rate 8.5 or higher on a tough grading scale, but usually in cases where I knew in advance that a second date would be unlikely. For civilians, if given the choice, I'd rather spend $500 on a one time date with a 9, (and I grew up in Montreal, so my grading scale is much more parabolic - more on that in another thread, soon), and only get a kiss, than get CIMSW from a 5. That doesn't make me shallow. I'm just being realistic. Some guys just want something, so they won't have nothing. I'd rather have nothing than have something I don't want.
In the pay for play sex world, you can temporarily acquire some of what you desire. Because the combination of beauty of face and body is the most desired and the most rare, it commands the highest price, often beyond the budget of guys here who read about sex more than they write about it.
The primary function of an escort review forum is to recognize and identify the Escorts whose service is more valuable than their cost, and those where the opposite is true. If a woman is a 'true BBW', (ie: a woman with a beautiful face, who has a larger sized body), I'm not going to be disappointed if I book an appointment with her. Unfortunately, it's unlikely that I'll ever book that appointment, unless I've seen photos of her face. If I like the 'neck down' photos of a hot bod type, I'm likely to read some reviews, to see how other guys rate her face. I don't cancel at the door if a butterface answers, but I don't bring my A game, either.
It's just unfortunate that the value of the 'true BBW' is discounted, because guys might assume she's a fugly to whom others are being charitable. Every woman has the right to offer her sexual pleasures for sale or rent at an agreed upon fee, but no woman has the right to have said pleasures purchased. All tail is not created equal. Some you'd pay to hunt. Some you'd pay to domesticate. Some you'd pay to ride. Some you'd eat for free. Some you'd pet. Some you'd look at, from behind a fence. Some you'd run away from, if they approach with intent.
I leave them both to you once my future wife has completed her task.
