How to be a Better Partner to Sex Workers

[Art Mann]

Dispatch from a Dominatrix
BY GUEST BLOGGER ⋅ THE L STOP

For those of us in the ‘adult’ industry, dating can be a challenge. Many partners struggle with the type of work that we do, and encounter feelings of jealousy or mistrust. So, in an effort to help folks be more supportive to their lovers and partners, I’d like to share a few insights and suggestions from me and a few other ladies of the night.

For those of you not involved in the world of commodified pleasure, when I refer to sex workers, I am describing anyone who is engaged in the adult/sex industry. This includes dancers, dominatrices, escorts, webcam artists, erotic masseurs, phone sex operators and adult film actors. You’ll find that all of these folks are regular people with personal lives, families, friends and to-do lists full of the same mundane tasks that befall us all.

The difference for sex workers is that when we decide to date or seek a new partner, many of us find ourselves having to justify or defend our profession, which is not typical for folks engaged in other types of labor. We also frequently encounter interpersonal reflections of broader societal views regarding sex work and sex workers, which are not positive.

In our culture, sex work is seen as subversive and exploitative, certainly not as a legitimate exchange of a service for compensation. Sex workers are stigmatized and discriminated against, which results in many folks feeling isolated and shameful about their work. It can be difficult and even dangerous for sex workers to be honest with people about what they do. Despite all of this, many sex workers are thriving, organizing and even dating! So if you find yourself falling for a working girl, please consider the following recommendations.

First, an essential element in being a supportive lover or partner is to recognize that sex work is legitimate employment. Sex work is a job your partner does, it’s not an affair and it’s not infidelity. Please understand that engaging in sex work does not indicate anything about an individual’s feelings for you. It is also important to realize that the relationships individuals have with their clients are most likely very different from the relationships that they are seeking to have with a partner.

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[Wanker]

Art you always find the juice ones :biggrin2:

 

[RAWD]

I'd say that it either works or it doesn't. The SO gets it, or doesn't. It's not the kind of thing where you get your head around over time.

 

[Stubby]

Very good advice and I hope I never have to take it.

 

[Prick]

A like the light whipping once in a while.

 

[Boing]

A like the light whipping once in a while.

Bend down Prick :whip::whip::whip::whip:

 

[Pietro]

She is cute.

 

[dreamblade]

Great article! It's true that when dating a sex worker, shedding old biases and communication is key. I also think that erring on the side of optimism is, although challenging, is the way to go. Too many people practice suspicion as a normal element of a relationship, that will be even more devastating when you're in one with a sex worker.

 

[Blank_Dave]

I was almost curious enough to read it, then I thought "me date a sex worker...correction...anyone? Phht, right."