How to deal with body and confidence issues?

[Gooby]

I think looking back to when I first got sexually active in my late teen years I never really had any confidence issues with the way my body looked. I played a lot of sports and worked out a lot so I was always in decent shape. I was no Joe sixpack or an underwear model but I was not concerned about how a woman would view me.

So about a year ago I had an injury playing a game of pick up basketball with my friends (probably why you should leave the sports to the young guys). I could not exercise properly for months plus I had that fear of hurting myself again preventing me from being too active. I started to pack on the pounds and got some flab all over as a result. I wouldn't consider myself fat but I do have a fair sized belly now. I have been trying to lose the weight the past few months and it's not coming off as easily as it would when i was younger.

The last few times I have been to an MP I had a weird feeling that I didn't feel ever before. I was nervous and had a lot of anxiety about the way I looked in terms of my spare tire. The whole time I was in there I would try my best to suck my gut in in the hopes that she wouldn't notice. Of course the MPAs would never notice or act like it was a problem considering they see men of all shapes and sizes, yet I was just scared that I would not impress her in the same way some young guy with a 6 pack would. I don't know why I felt so nervous and insecure about the way I looked but the feelings held me back from having a good time. I probably felt releived when it was done and i got dressed again.

Part of me now feels like I need to take a break from this hobby until I get in shape but another part of me wants still keep going. I'm telling myself to not over think it but I can't help it. One of the reasons I started hobbying was because I always felt that I didn't need to impress SPs and MPAs the way I would if I were dating. I don't know why I even want to impress an MPA considering it is just a business transaction at the end of the day

sorry for the tl;dr post

 

[-b]

Most people feel like you.....
I think most of these Ladies are not looking at what you look like
but your personality...and a fun session. Nobody is perfect...

I too have issues with my body....I am now starting to feel like working
out again...When I was younger, my body was great, I was in sports etc
Now I am just trying to be healthy......

So if you feel uncomfortable about it change your eating and slowly start
working out......

You should not let your body define who you are....that comes from the heart...

 

[Madman]

Just manage your intake and throw in some exercise. You will start to feel much better about yourself as you get into a routine.

 

[Bridgette_xo]

It definitely can be difficult when you're body doesn't look how you want it to or how you know it can look. My advice would be to think about your fear of hurting yourself again versus how you feel when feeling self conscious. If the fear of injury is less bothersome to you than feeling self conscious I would suggest trying to get back into shape and do the things you enjoy while getting an awesome workout at the same time. You could work with a personal trainer to build muscle around the injury to help support it and limit the chance of anything happening.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I think the positive effects you get from seeing MPAs/SPs will help you (if you allow it) with your self-conscious issues in the long run. I know it helps and encourages me to attain my goals and I am simply in a much better frame of mind when getting consistent sexual gratification.

 

[Wanker]

Remember the old expression. You feel good if you look good. Even being 10-30 lb overweight you can still feel good. once you hit the 50 then you should watch what you eat.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

Keep in mind that most women do not judge men the same way men judge women. Most of us don't much care if you are a hard bodied stud or have a spare tire. Attitude and personality is way more important. Making us laugh is sexy, making us feel beautiful is very appealing. Eye candy is great to look at but once you get used to looking at them it can get boring. What is inside makes you desirable, not whether you have a six pack or a beer belly.

 

[-b]

Keep in mind that most women do not judge men the same way men judge women. Most of us don't much care if you are a hard bodied stud or have a spare tire. Attitude and personality is way more important. Making us laugh is sexy, making us feel beautiful is very appealing. Eye candy is great to look at but once you get used to looking at them it can get boring. What is inside makes you desirable, not whether you have a six pack or a beer belly.

:clapping2:

That is so true....in what you have written.....

 

[BEER]

I may have to start drinking light beer.

 

[L._s.]

Gooby - I have the same thoughts but not about weight - about other issues. I guess many people ,to some extent, are not comfortable with their bodies and really seem to be the toughest critics of their on physical faults which nobody else really seems to notice.

 

[oldguyzer]

The overriding attraction for many women is self-confidence in the man. You may not be Brad Pitt or have bulging muscles, but if you are confident in the way you are and present yourself, that carries over a lot of message to the ladies. It's all attitude (once you get by my Brad Pitt looks and one bulging muscle :biggrin2

 

[Prick]

If you can find her Gspot, you are all set.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

This is horrible news for me...not only am I overweight, I have a terrible personality!

Damn-Not too smart

Hmmmm, well, do you have an obscene amount of money? Some women find that very sexy

 

[Gooby]

Thanks everyone for the replies. It's great how sometimes a little positive advice can be uplifting. I guess next time I see a lady I will try to keep my confidence up. Though at times it is like a chicken and egg thing where the insecurity of my body also brings down my confidence and personality.

Thinking about it all feels weird. When I went through a bad break of my last long term relationship I blamed myself for not being good enough for my ex causing her to leave for another guy. I didn't have the confidence to start dating and looking for a new partner so I turned to SPs and MPAs to get my gratification. It was also something that made me feel good about myself again since I felt like I did not have to worry about impressing these women - they were always happy with me. But now this issue of impressing SPs and MPAs has popped up in my hobby because of the body image issue. It probably doesn't help that I see some girls on a regular basis and have become on friendly terms with them. I should probably branch out and not get attached.

I have been working out and eating healthy for about the past 3-4 months and I feel like I'm getting the muscle tone back on my arms, chest, and legs. It's just the gut that is stubborn and not changing. I recorded my meals for a few weeks and showed a friend who happens to be a nutritionist and he said that I was fine calorie wise (in fact he suggested I have a few more calories to help with the workouts and prevent my body from going into starving/fat saving mode).

 

[connoisseur]

I think the positive effects you get from seeing MPAs/SPs will help you (if you allow it) with your self-conscious issues in the long run. I know it helps and encourages me to attain my goals and I am simply in a much better frame of mind when getting consistent sexual gratification.

Very wise words! Especially "consistent sexual gratification." Music to my ears. )