Jailed for non alimony payment.

[tboy]

It is unfair but if you speak with many lawyers they defend the system and claim the public doesn't know the entire story. As for living together and I would love the opinion of a family lawyer but I am under the impression that real property is safe in common law and the home at least does not become a matrimonial home as it does in a marriage. Kids on the other hand are a different story, child support can be asked for. Imagine paying child support because one made the mistake of living together with a woman who had kids!

That would only apply if they were kids. If they were from another man they wouldn't be your responsibility unless you legally adopted them.

Alimony is a legal obligation like any other. If he'd not fulfilled the terms of his car payments, the loan company would have the same option.

I'm not sure a loan company could go after a spouse's wages in that situation. I don't know enough about marital law to say for sure. I know in some cases someone's property/investments are exempt from common or shared rights. If certain property or possessions are exempt then I'm sure certain debts are too.

But if you think about it, then sure, if the new wife is entitled to half of everything he has, earns or will earn, then she should also be entitled to all his debts as well....tit for tat.....as it were.....

 

[-b]

All I know is my case....My ex took all the assets....Everything....
I help him through University.....Given up jobs that I had, to benefit his Career.....
Given up friends, family to support him totally.....
I have moved all over God Country, sometimes every year........
I finally got some alimony, I can not work like I use too,
I am emotionally destroy by this....Because He was my Life....
He is now a Big Exc....and has a 28 yr old GF....
So why alimony.....every time I was in a position of Management he want me home...
He like me home because he want the emotional support that is needed at times...
So he gets everything and I get nothing....Sometimes they do not write the whole story in the papers..
Just enough to get people going.....
Now that I am sick am I to live off welfare...I am getting alimony.....and fighting him for division of assets,which is what is legal in Canada....I contributed to the marriage......

 

[Chunky]

You should be entitled to the alimony Blissful if you are able to prove what you have stated, I agree with you. If he did it on his own then I would say no or if he came into the relationship already established then I would say no but in your case the way you state it then I would say yes.

 

[-b]

You should be entitled to the alimony Blissful if you are able to prove what you have stated, I agree with you. If he did it on his own then I would say no or if he came into the relationship already established then I would say no but in your case the way you state it then I would say yes.

He had nothing, I had a degree and was working.....I helped him through University etc....With the money my father left me I used it to help him.....It not that easy to say what is right and wrong....I was feeling horrible about taking alimony but my counselor had to make me see that I am entitled....He said everything was his, I believed him....she had to make me realize what I did for him and how I gave....He came to me with nothing, nothing and I was better off then he was. Now he has everything and I am worse off, lucky I have family....and my friends....He told me that I was lucky because He could have put me on the streets...
The man I loved, the man I had a child with, the man I knew since he was 6, the man who I gave so much for......How do you get over something like this....I never will.....I can not trust any man yet....and I may never.....that is why I am only seeing women....the relationships I have with them were more positive....
My heart is broken but I am trying with everything else I am trying......

If I had too I would live my over again....he was wonderful person until he reach 40ty and then everything became my fault or maybe my eyes were opening to his ways...not sure....all I know is I loved him...I love the way he smelled, the way he walked, the way he would make me laughed, the sex....I did not care if he had money or not, I did not care if became Upper middle class, all I care was to make my ex and son happy...and I feel I failed and I failed myself because I gave my all and I am not sure it I have anything to save myself from this....but it ok....I keep hearing I'm a survivor ......at this moment in time that is not want I want.....I just do not know how people can divorce 3 or 4 times...I can not even survive 1..

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

^^^^ This poster has claimed to own her own business and have lots of money in the past on here.

Now we are hearing how she is in dire straights.

I for one am not buying into this one bit.

 

[IguanaBite]

^^^^ This poster has claimed to own her own business and have lots of money in the past on here.

Now we are hearing how she is in dire straights.

I for one am not buying into this one bit.

You and Tboy have nothing else to do but pick on a woman with issues?. Who gives a shit what she said before. Grow up man or get laid.

 

[-b]

I am not in dire anything.....I am getting alimony...yes I have my own business.....and it is slowly taking off
because I am not dropping everything and moving.......again... as he has done.....When one person has taken all the assets and you trust that person....well for a while I was having issues......I am just getting back on my feet.......Ask Amy, Sillygirl and the other women that I supported me emotionally through this.....If you want I can give you the names of the guys on here that know my issues.......I had lots of money and gave it all to him because he wanted it....I trusted him.....He left me with nothing.....nothing....so it has taken a few months to get something......and my family is not responsible for me nor are my friends.....but I have very good friends and family......That's life right, you learn and grow....It really does not matter what anybody think, this happened to me....this is what he did...you can think what you want too......

 

[Massimo]

^^^^ This poster has claimed to own her own business and have lots of money in the past on here.

Now we are hearing how she is in dire straights.

I for one am not buying into this one bit.

Jesus dude and I get asked why I don't hang around the lobby anymore.

 

[tboy]

Sorry Massimo and Iguana, but if any one of us spun a story full of contradictions you'd be all over us too.....

I wasn't going to say boo but really, it pisses me off when someone cries poor yet has the money to pay for $250 an hour escorts. Belongs to a xxxx health club etc.

Poor is having your parents feed you ketchup sandwiches for dinner because that's all there is.
Poor is watching your parents go through the sofa cushions trying to scrape up enough change to buy a loaf of bread (so they can make ketchup sandwiches).
Poor is watching your father buy only a 6 pack of beer every 6 or 7 months because that's all he can afford even though he'd love to sit down and have a beer after working his ass off all day.
Poor is wearing 3 pairs of socks and your brother's shoes because your parents can't afford to buy you winter boots.

 

[-b]

This is going to end up as let beat on blissful......
How I lived in different parts of my life, is well off, came to Canada, was poor, then well off because
I struggle to get where I am.......Yes....if Trump can do it why can I.......

I wrote what has happened to me.....if I was a guy well you would be saying take her for everything...but I am not.
So there is no point in me getting into any kind of discussion with those who want to just be negative.....
If you do not like a woman expressing herself on here well talk to the mods............It is good for other women to know my situation because just as guys, everybody should be inform.

Have a wonderful and amazing Friday.......I will be......

 

[oagre]

The law is that a support payor is NOT free to simply quit a job to spite his ex, work for a small fraction of his former salary so he can laugh at her and pay much reduced child support so his kids live a shitty life. He does that, the judge sends him to jail Always been that way, always will be.

If there were more women on this board, they'd tell you why the law works like that.

 

[JBelushi]

The law is that a support payor is NOT free to simply quit a job to spite his ex, work for a small fraction of his former salary so he can laugh at her and pay much reduced child support so his kids live a shitty life. He does that, the judge sends him to jail Always been that way, always will be.

If there were more women on this board, they'd tell you why the law works like that.

Correct, I know of two cases that both men would work around their accountants and employer to purposely reduce their salaries but to have their balances paid through relative's names. Trust me these men and others do it.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I wrote what has happened to me.....if I was a guy well you would be saying take her for everything...but I am not.
.

Your assuming something about me that is not true in this case.

 

[tboy]

The law is that a support payor is NOT free to simply quit a job to spite his ex, work for a small fraction of his former salary so he can laugh at her and pay much reduced child support so his kids live a shitty life. He does that, the judge sends him to jail Always been that way, always will be.

If there were more women on this board, they'd tell you why the law works like that.

No doubt there are some that do that...but what about the guy who gets laid off? His company goes tits up? Who has to leave his high pressure/high paying job due to stress related illness?

No doubt about it, there are those who abuse the system on both sides of the fence but just because some do it, don't lump everyone in the same basket.

Whether or not a guy has what some would determine to be a valid reason for changing jobs, if he earns less money, that means he should pay less. No ifs ands or buts about it.

I will have you explain this: if a guy stays married, and gets laid off, will or won't the wife's lifestyle be affected due to the reduced or negated income? I'll answer it for you: it will. The vacations to paris, the BMWs, the high end forest hill home, those would be gone.

So if they were still married and her lifestyle would be affected by his decision, why SHOULDN'T her lifestyle be affected when they are no longer together? Since when is it morally sound for a woman to profit by being divorced?

In addition: Bliss is making shit up again. I too would NOT say "take her for everything...."

 

[oagre]

It is unfair but if you speak with many lawyers they defend the system and claim the public doesn't know the entire story. As for living together and I would love the opinion of a family lawyer but I am under the impression that real property is safe in common law and the home at least does not become a matrimonial home as it does in a marriage. Kids on the other hand are a different story, child support can be asked for. Imagine paying child support because one made the mistake of living together with a woman who had kids!

It is true that the spouse's right to remain in the matrimonial home only clicks in when they are legally married. Note that this is a possessory right only and not an ownership right.

No one gets to own half the other person's house in Ontario, married or unmarried. If you are married, you get half the difference of the increase in your property over the course of the marriage and the increase in her property over the course of the marriage. Except the matrimonial home where you can include the before marriage increase in value too. Since the SCC decision in Kerr v Baranow a year ago, unmarried couples are getting much the same deal if it was a long term relationship and 1 person clearly got shafted.

 

[oagre]

No doubt there are some that do that...but what about the guy who gets laid off? His company goes tits up? Who has to leave his high pressure/high paying job due to stress related illness?

No doubt about it, there are those who abuse the system on both sides of the fence but just because some do it, don't lump everyone in the same basket.

Whether or not a guy has what some would determine to be a valid reason for changing jobs, if he earns less money, that means he should pay less. No ifs ands or buts about it.

I will have you explain this: if a guy stays married, and gets laid off, will or won't the wife's lifestyle be affected due to the reduced or negated income? I'll answer it for you: it will. The vacations to paris, the BMWs, the high end forest hill home, those would be gone.

So if they were still married and her lifestyle would be affected by his decision, why SHOULDN'T her lifestyle be affected when they are no longer together? Since when is it morally sound for a woman to profit by being divorced?

In addition: Bliss is making shit up again. I too would NOT say "take her for everything...."

If the guy has a genuine worthy reason for earning less, the judge lets him pay less. Health, being laid off, sometimes going back to school. Child support is worked out by a chart which corresponds with the guy's income level.

But it is naive to think that guys will not quit jobs and work under the table or simply quit jobs and stay home just to spite their exes. Every day, every Family court judge in this province sees multiple examples of guys who deserve a break and also OTOH guys who are lying, malingering and otherwise deadbeating their way through the court system.

Your theory is predicated on the false assumption that no guy will quit working for no reason just to spite his ex or work for cash under the table to blow it on his 19 year old girlfriend while his kids wear hand-me-downs and his wife takes TTC.

 

[tboy]

If the guy has a genuine worthy reason for earning less, the judge lets him pay less. Health, being laid off, sometimes going back to school. Child support is worked out by a chart which corresponds with the guy's income level.

But it is naive to think that guys will not quit jobs and work under the table or simply quit jobs and stay home just to spite their exes. Every day, every Family court judge in this province sees multiple examples of guys who deserve a break and also OTOH guys who are lying, malingering and otherwise deadbeating their way through the court system.

Your theory is predicated on the false assumption that no guy will quit working for no reason just to spite his ex or work for cash under the table to blow it on his 19 year old girlfriend while his kids wear hand-me-downs and his wife takes TTC.

No, it isn't a theory, it is morally "right". Insofar as it is wrong to suspect everyone from cheating their wife by purposely hiding their income. As I said "yes, some do it" but to automatically punish everyone for the acts of a few, is wrong.

No, the courts do NOT automatically reduce alimony if the ex-husband's income is reduced. There are examples of where this just isn't so. The one where the guy worked at spar is a perfect example. He's getting unemployment (and the ONLY way to get that is to get laid off) yet he's in the hole every month over $10,000.00. I seem to recall the courts are garnishing his unemployment benefits because he owes so much back alimony.....

There was a segment on the radio the other day about what a stay at home wife does, and what the equivolent paid job...pays.

For eg:
a maid, $15.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $31200.00 annually
Chauffer: $25.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $52000.00
Cook/Chef: $45.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $93600.00

Now the report/study they were talking about took into consideration that a housewife doesn't do all the various jobs full time, all day. The total they came up with was something like $100,000.00 per year. Therefore, that's what she deserves in alimony.

Ummm wait, since when do we all get "paid" to clean our own houses? Drive our own kids to school?

Not saying she doesn't deserve anything, but to apply that logic, without applying the same logic to what the typical husband does.

For eg:
Mowing the lawn/Landscaper: $25.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $52000.00
Mechanic: $35.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $72800.00
Carpenter: $45.00 per hour x 40 hrs a week = $93600.00

Did they take that into consideration when calculating what her alimony should be? (in other words, subtracting what he did around the house from what she did) Nope. Why on earth would they do THAT??????

 

[-b]

I think some people on here need to look up about the legal system.......for divorcing.
Just what I know...what he makes and what she makes....subtracted and the
what is lift over is divided in half.......Assets are divided into half.....the also a part for Child support....

They do not look at who does house work or the yard or fix the car etc.....

As for trusting my ex I did...with everything...what I made went into the house.....what he made....I never asked why, I loved him.......I want the women and men on here to realize even if you love somebody completely never do what I did....Do not let one person control all the finances....Have it in only their name...Do not use all your money on the house and children and the other person does not say what they use theirs pay for....

I am just putting it out there.....it your choice......Believe me or not.......

 

[peace]

Originally Posted by BlissfulI wrote what has happened to me.....if I was a guy well you would be saying take her for everything...but I am not.

Honestly Bliss, there are some good guys out there...including women. Sometimes we unfortunately run into people, both men and women, who are selfish, manipulative, deceiving, vindicative and cruel.

Regarding relationships, there are many horror stories out there. When a relationship mutually ends on a good term, just be grateful for it. WHen it doesn't, it's difficult but we need to move forward.

 

[tboy]

Originally Posted by BlissfulI wrote what has happened to me.....if I was a guy well you would be saying take her for everything...but I am not.

Honestly Bliss, there are some good guys out there...including women. Sometimes we unfortunately run into people, both men and women, who are selfish, manipulative, deceiving, vindicative and cruel.

Regarding relationships, there are many horror stories out there. When a relationship mutually ends on a good term, just be grateful for it. WHen it doesn't, it's difficult but we need to move forward.

I just want to add that because someone ends a relationship, for whatever reason, doesn't necessarily make them any or all of your adjectives. Relationships end, it sucks, but they do. Sometimes men treat their wives like princesses, giving them everything they could ever dream of, only to find out she's been fucking the pool boy. Sometimes women treat their husbands like princes, and then they start fucking the checkout girl at the local Loblaws. Shit happens.

For the record, I don't think a woman should be entitled to anything other than her clothes and personal items if she's caught cheating. I know Ontario/Canadian Law states that infidelity has any bearing on a divorce, but it should.