Made with Love

JOKES / FUNNY STUFF THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Circus owner tells them, I'm not going to sugar coat it.
This is one ferocious lion.

He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history."
Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage.
The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.

As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!!

He says "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion out of there first.
 
cm_20150506_5158_001.gif


cm_20150506_5158_004.gif


cm_20150506_5158_011.gif


cm_20150506_5158_012.gif


cm_20150506_5158_015.gif
 
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't.

>> The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow.
>>
>> She stayed in the car making phone calls.
>>
>> About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty
>> bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
>>
>> What happened to you," asked Hillary?
>>
>>
>> "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful
>> twin daughters made passionate love to me."
>>
>> " What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
>>
>> The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've



































>> just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
 
"Give it to me!" She screamed.

"I'm so fucking wet!"

I ignored her and kept my umbrella.
 
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly

> remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He
> pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How
> much for one of those Barbies in the display
> window?' The salesperson

> answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out
> Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
> Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut
> Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and
> Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
>
> The amazed father asks: 'It's what? Why is the
> Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others
> only $19.95?'
>
> Annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced
> Barbie comes with: Ken's Truck, Ken's House,
> Ken's Fishing Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken’s
> Dog, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key
> chain made from Ken's balls
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom