Long Distance Relationships

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Make sure both people know each other's priorities in terms of caring for each other vs. everyone else they're with. It isn't easy....and it's kinda important for both people to be non-monogamous. Oh and for both to be not so selfish lol. That's mostly the gist of making it work

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

3 hour stamina is not required, just greatly appreciated. :heart:

Thank God for Pfizer and their #1 seller.

 

[SillyGirl]

Make sure both people know each other's priorities in terms of caring for each other vs. everyone else they're with. It isn't easy....and it's kinda important for both people to be non-monogamous. Oh and for both to be not so selfish lol. That's mostly the gist of making it work

Amy do you mean it's important for both people to actually be fucking other people, or that both people need to have the option?

Thank God for Pfizer and their #1 seller.

Better living through chemicals, I say. :smiling:

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Amy do you mean it's important for both people to actually be fucking other people, or that both people need to have the option?

Not necessarily fking....but more than just an option being present. Does that make sense?

 

[RAWD]

So here's what I'm wondering...how does one mix feelings with non-monogamy?

I'm good at monogamous, and I'm good at casual sex with people I barely know, but I've never tried Casual with Feelings. I'm not sure I would be good at it, but I don't know how to know that without trying it. :dontknow:

After a painful personal failure, I've learned that i can't. I'm all in with my heart or no heart at all. you can't control your feelings. They happen. You can only control whether you act on them. But if they're there and you have to reign them in, that blows.

You gotta see for yourself, but it might sting.

 

[SillyGirl]

Not necessarily fking....but more than just an option being present. Does that make sense?

um, no. What's in-between the option and the sex?

After a painful personal failure, I've learned that i can't. I'm all in with my heart or no heart at all. you can't control your feelings. They happen. You can only control whether you act on them. But if they're there and you have to reign them in, that blows.

You gotta see for yourself, but it might sting.

yea, that's what I'm afraid of. I've never thought I was really cut out for an open relationship, and I'm not sure I should risk ruining what could be a great friendship while I confirm that.

It hasn't even really started yet and it already seems complicated. sigh.

Thanks for the input, it's helpful.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

It's important for both people to cultivate other relationships. If only one person is having sex or intimate whatever with multiple people while the other person "has permission to if he/she wants" then it's just gonna blow up in your faces.

 

[SillyGirl]

It's important for both people to cultivate other relationships. If only one person is having sex or intimate whatever with multiple people while the other person "has permission to if he/she wants" then it's just gonna blow up in your faces.

I see what you mean...both people need to have the same level of outside involvement. That makes total sense, thanks Amy.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I see what you mean...both people need to have the same level of outside involvement. That makes total sense, thanks Amy.

Right lol thanks for understanding my jumbled up words...I really did get my brains fkd out last night

 

[RAWD]

yea, that's what I'm afraid of. I've never thought I was really cut out for an open relationship, and I'm not sure I should risk ruining what could be a great friendship while I confirm that.

.

Yup, that's what happened to me. I had a great friendship. The best, actually. Now we can't even have a normal conversation. Hurt grows to resentment grows to hate, even.

I regret the lost friendship. It was amazing, safe and comforting. I don't regret taking the relationship to the next level. I don't regret wanting more. Once you've gone beyond, you can't settle for less. That's going to be the challenge.

 

[Blank_Dave]

*Sigh* Looks like it's a good thing I don't even attempt the "relationship" thing, if the smart people hare having this kind of difficulty.

 

[Auggie]

SillyGirl, is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

 

[HOF]

um, no. What's in-between the option and the sex?



yea, that's what I'm afraid of. I've never thought I was really cut out for an open relationship, and I'm not sure I should risk ruining what could be a great friendship while I confirm that.

It hasn't even really started yet and it already seems complicated. sigh.

Thanks for the input, it's helpful.

The in-between option is ORAL SEX didn't you learn anything from Wild Bill Clinton's time in office!

It hasn't started and it's complicated! That's why SPs are wonderful!

 

[SillyGirl]

Yup, that's what happened to me. I had a great friendship. The best, actually. Now we can't even have a normal conversation. Hurt grows to resentment grows to hate, even.

I regret the lost friendship. It was amazing, safe and comforting. I don't regret taking the relationship to the next level. I don't regret wanting more. Once you've gone beyond, you can't settle for less. That's going to be the challenge.

This is why I don't fuck my platonic guyfriends, not even the ones I secretly think are sexy as all hell. I lost one once because we let things get too involved, and I miss him.

But this new situation isn't feeling platonic at all...I'm a little disconcerted by how intrigued I am. :???:

*Sigh* Looks like it's a good thing I don't even attempt the "relationship" thing, if the smart people hare having this kind of difficulty
​

I don't think it's always complicated, Dave...once in awhile, it's easy. I have a way of complicating things that don't need to be, so don't judge by me. :biggrin:

SillyGirl, is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Well if you came out of it with a great kid like I did, yes. Otherwise, I don't think so.

The in-between option is ORAL SEX didn't you learn anything from Wild Bill Clinton's time in office!

AHA!! Finally you agree, blowjobs don't count!

.I really did get my brains fkd out last night

You lucky, lucky girl...I had to do it myself. Three cheers for Bob! :clapping::clapping::clapping:

 

[train]

Time for you to pull the trigger on whoever you are thinking about and see how it works out. By and large there would be few people here who would be relationships experts. Good luck or happy hunting whichever is more appropriate.

 

[RAWD]

No such thing as platonic friendships between boys and girls. Only feelings that are suppressed and not acted upon.

 

[SillyGirl]

Time for you to pull the trigger on whoever you are thinking about and see how it works out. By and large there would be few people here who would be relationships experts. Good luck or happy hunting whichever is more appropriate.

Anyone who's had experience in relationships has their own particular expertise, and I like hearing lots of different viewpoints.

I think you're right, I should ride the ride.

No such thing as platonic friendships between boys and girls. Only feelings that are suppressed and not acted upon.
​

I couldn't disagree more. It is rare, but it does happen.

 

[RAWD]

Anyone who's had experience in relationships has their own particular expertise, and I like hearing lots of different viewpoints.

I think you're right, I should ride the ride.



I couldn't disagree more. It is rare, but it does happen.

We are all formed by our unique experiences. Only you can write your own story.

I used to think that platonic relationships could exist. Maybe they can and do if we maintain the necessary boundaries. Maybe my sex drive has increased with age. LOL.

 

[Blank_Dave]

No such thing as platonic friendships between boys and girls. Only feelings that are suppressed and not acted upon.

Gotta have feelings to suppress first.

 

[SillyGirl]

We are all formed by our unique experiences. Only you can write your own story.

I used to think that platonic relationships could exist. Maybe they can and do if we maintain the necessary boundaries. Maybe my sex drive has increased with age. LOL.

LOL...well, yea, that's very important. :tongue:

I also think it's easier for a real friendship to develop if the relationship starts without the possibility of romantic entanglement, like if one or both parties are in a committed relationship.