papasmerf, the unfounded accusations in your second private message to me of December 12, and your behavior in general, has ended our nominal friendship. After accepting a hand in friendship, that person does not, at a future date, become my enemy, and that is the case here, as well. I do, frequently, however, sever ties with such individuals.
On November 15, 2014, Sarah asked me a question in Ask bobistheowl!, (page 21, #411): . Seven minutes later, you responded to her.
On November 12, 2014, 11:03 AM, in Ask the Doctor, I posted a question for oldguyzer, and you answered it two minutes later. When informed of your faux pas, you said to me:
.
These are not isolated incidents. You do them time and time again, without remorse. Your post in Ask bobistheowl! was made 46 hours and 43 minutes after you extended your hand to me in friendship, in TV Trivia, and we all know how much of a friend you were in that thread, subsequently.
What you did in Ask the Doctor is of no pertinence to me, but you violated my person space by answering my question in Ask bobistheowl!. It's no coincidence that I have made no further posts in my home thread since.
I step out of the dining room for a moment, and I find the kid from next door has let himself into my house, and eaten my dinner. When I ask him why, he looks at me, and picks his nose. This is the mental picture I had, from the cover of MAD, issue #1:
papasmerf, I have previously stated that questions in Ask bobistheowl! are considered to be mail. As you know, it is a felony offense to open someone else' mail, and since the offense occurred within my jurisdiction, I find you guilty, and now pass sentence:
You are ordered to remove post #412 from Ask bobistheowl!, and it is your responsibility to have oldguyzer remove post #413, his reply to your reply that shouldn't have been there in the first place.
IN MY HOME!
Where my wife sleeps,
where my children play with their toys.
IN MY HOME!
When you have completed your assignment, you will be removed from my Ignore list. That's right, papasmerf, you're on Ignore, and you'll stay there, until you learn some manners and respect for other people.
I'll check Ask bobistheowl! at midnight, to see if you have complied. If you haven't, additional conditions will be added to your list of reparations, and for every day past Sunday, December 21, 2014, for which you have not performed your duties, you will remain on Ignore for one additional day. If you can't get it done today, tomorrow's burden will be to change your avatar to the picture above of the kid picking his nose, for one month.
If you complete your task on Monday, I'll check the thread at midnight, and restore you to recognition on Wednesday, after you have completed your penalty day. That would be a shame to you, papasmerf, as Tuesday is Festivus, and you would have no opportunity to have your rebuttal heard by me, after my post about you in The Airing of the Grievances.
If you remove your post, but oldguyzer refuses to remove his, TFB; that's your problem, not mine, and that will tell you something about the value he places on your friendship.
I don't think you can handle being on Ignore, papasmerf. I did that to a dog once, and ten minutes drove him nuts. The little attention whore within you won't be able to handle it. You'd better obey me now, not because you want to, but because the consequences are more dire.
papasmerf, the four word phrase man the fuck up ought to mean more to you than just the job title on your business card. You seem to think you have the right to do anything you want around here, but one right you don't have is to be recognized by me. That is a privilege, papasmerf, one not currently extended to you. You have to earn it back, on my terms.
Sticking your fingers in your ears isn't going to help this time, papasmerf. I can easily go the rest of my life without reading any more of your drivel. If I'm ignoring you, nothing prevents me from reading your posting history, quoting something I can use to make you look foolish, and never taking you off Ignore in the process. Those are rights that I have, that I have not yet exercised.
If you complete your assigned task(s), I will dictate the terms of your parole. If you fail, those terms are irrelevant.
You chose to play Big Balls poker, papasmerf, one of my favorite games, and this is how it's played. It's two card guts, I've got a pair of faces, and I'm all in. My cat's sitting in the center of the table. I'm not convinced you even have a pair, and if you do, not a very big one. It's time to buy a new pair of trousers, papasmerf, because the britches you're wearing now have become too tight.
If you have a mod in your back pocket, this would be the time to have him smite me. If you succeed at that, you will be feared by any who would oppose you in the future, and I would gladly leave, on those terms. I've been there, and done that.
Here's the difference between you and I, papasmerf. I've got a big pair of balls. You've got a .jpeg image of a big pair of balls, attached to another man's loins. The sooner you surrender, the less it will hurt. This is the time to think with your head, and swallow your pride. Either way, I win. I don't have to read your drivel everywhere, anymore.
I made this poem. I hope you don't like it:
One way,
Or another,
I will ride you,
Oh, wild, little pony.
Whether ye be saddled,
Or straddled,
And ridden bare back,
I will ride you,
Oh, wild little pony.
The carrot and the apples,
Too, shall follow,
Oh, My Little Pony,
When I am riding you,
One way,
Or the other.
So it is written. So shall it be done.
I have spoken.
