MADMAN'S POST BUMPER THREAD PART2

[Cardinal Fang]

Finally, did you bring the holy water with you?

It's at the back of the church.

Tie up the short blue guy and pour the water on his forehead while I eat breakfast. Oldguyzer can help you hold him down!

My days of BDSM are behind me Madman, but thanks for the offer.

Watch out for his accomplice Blissful. She bites but I hid her dentures so she's harmless.

You're a strange person aren't you?

 

[Madman]

It's at the back of the church.

Can you not call an altar boy to bring it!!!



My days of BDSM are behind me Madman, but thanks for the offer.

That's not what Peace tells us!




You're a strange person aren't you?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I DON'T GO AROUND cock punching people,
I DON'T harass the neighborhood pussies,
I DON'T get wood from Spam
I DON'T spend all day and night with ALTAR BOYS,

I'm normal,, expect for the fact I have a smurf on my ass trying to take my property and a toothless maid as his accomplice but other than that I'm normal.

PS.... thanks for the 20 bucks yesterday. See Papa, he will pay you back.....

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Madman you SUCK at discussion board posting format! :biggrin2:

 

[Madman]

Madman you SUCK at discussion board posting format! :biggrin2:

Hey, shhhh he'll hear us.

Listen, I've got a plan........ shhhh he's sleeping and in MY FUCKING BED!!



Bring some of those potions you've been using on the cat. All of it and we can try it on the smurf.

Shhhhh stop trying to cock punch me, if I scream he'll wake up!!

Hurry, let's get the job done and you could have a spam breakfast.

 

[papasmerf]

 

[papasmerf]

for some reason it did not post

will need to get a new scanner

 

[papasmerf]

The text editor here changes the signature to recognizable type.




27. KEYS AND ADDDENDUMS: RESIDENT acknowledges receipt of the following which shall be deemed part of this Agreement: (Please check)
_X__ Keys #of keys and purposes ____OPENS TRASH DOOR_____
_X__ House Rules _X__ Pet Agreement _X__ Other ANYTHING ELSE PAPASMERF SAID OR CLAIMS TO HAVE SAID_
28. ENTIRE AGREEMENT: This Agreement constitutes the entire Agreement between OWNER and RESIDENT. No oral agreements have been entered into, and all modifications or notices shall be in writing to be valid.
32. RECEIPT OF AGREEMENT: The undersigned RESIDENTS have read and understand this Agreement and hereby acknowledge receipt of a copy of this Rental Agreement.
RESIDENT'S Signature MADMAN Date _APRIL 20, 2013_
OWNER'S or Agent's Signature PAPASMERF ceo SMERF lpc Date__APRIL 20, 2013
(No representation is made as to the legal validity or the adequacy of any provision in this Agreement. If you desire legal advice, consult your attorney.)

 

[papasmerf]

CRATE RENTAL AGREEMENT ​

​

This Rental Agreement shall evidence the complete terms and conditions under which the parties whose signatures appear below have agreed. Landlord/Lessor/Agent, SMERF LPCshall be referred to as "OWNER" and Tenant(s)/Lessee, MADMAN, shall be referred to as "RESIDENT." As consideration for this agreement, OWNER agrees to rent/lease to RESIDENT and RESIDENT agrees to rent/lease from OWNER for use solely as a private residence, the premises located at NAKED POST COUNT BUMPER THREAD in the city of CEARF, (TORONTO) ONTARIO..
1. TERMS: RESIDENT agrees to pay in advance $75.00 per week on each Monday. This agreement shall commence on 04/20/2013 and continue for one year.
A. X Thereafter it shall become a month-to- month tenancy. If RESIDENT should move from the premises prior to the expiration of this time period, he shall be liable for all rent due until such time that the Residence is occupied by an OWNER approved paying RESIDENT and/or expiration of said time period, whichever is shorter.
B.__ until ____________, ______ on a month-to-month tenancy until either party shall terminate this agreement by giving a written notice of intention to terminate at least 30 days prior to the date of termination.
2. PAYMENTS: Rent and/or other charges are to be paid at such place or method designated by the owner as follows CASH US OR CANADIAN FUNDS ONLY. All payments are to be made by check or money order and cash shall be acceptable. OWNER acknowledges receipt of the First Week’s rent of $_75.000_________, and a Security Deposit of 1 PAIR LADIES RED BOOTS_________, and additional charges/fees for ___NO GOOD REASON___________________________, for a total payment of $_80.00_________. All payments are to be made payable to SMERF LPC__________________________________.
3. SECURITY DEPOSITS: The total of the above deposits shall secure compliance with the terms and conditions of this agreement and shall be refunded to RESIDENT within _9000____ days after the premises have been completely vacated less any amount necessary to pay OWNER; a) any unpaid rent, b) cleaning costs, c) key replacement costs, d) cost for repair of damages to premises and/or common areas above ordinary wear and tear, and e) any other amount legally allowable under the terms of this agreement. A written accounting of said charges shall be presented to RESIDENT within THREE_____ days of move-out. If deposits no not cover such costs and damages, the RESIDENT shall immediately pay said additional costs for damages to OWNER.

4. LATE CHARGE: A late fee of $_3.75 PER DAY____, said amount not to exceed 5% of the BASIC RENTAL AGREEMENT AND/OR LEASE ​

​

1. UTILITIES: RESIDENT agrees to pay all utilities and/or services based upon occupancy of the premises except ___________NO EXECPTIONS_________________________.
2. OCCUPANTS: Guest(s) staying over 15 days without the written consent of OWNER shall be considered a breach of this agreement. ONLY the following individuals and/or animals, AND NO OTHERS shall occupy the subject residence for more than 15 days unless the expressed written consent of OWNER obtained in advance ___MADMAN ONLY, NO OVERNIGHT GUESTS EVER_______.
3. PETS: IN AS MUCH AS MADMAN MAY WELL QUALIFY AS AN ANIMAL, NO OTHER ANIMALS SHALL BE ALLOWED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. No animal, fowl, fish, reptile, and/or pet of any kind shall be kept on or about the premises, for any amount of time, without obtaining the prior written consent and meeting the requirements of the OWNER. Such consent if granted, shall be revocable at OWNER'S option upon giving a 30 day written notice. In the event laws are passed or permission is granted to have a pet and/or animal of any kind, an additional deposit in the amount of $_________ shall be required along with additional monthly rent of $_______ along with the signing of OWNER'S Pet Agreement. RESIDENT also agrees to carry insurance deemed appropriate by OWNER to cover possible liability and damages that may be caused by such animals.
4. LIQUID FILLED FURNISHINGS: No liquid filled furniture, receptacle containing more than ten gallons of liquid is permitted without prior written consent and meeting the requirements of the OWNER. RESIDENT also agrees to carry insurance deemed appropriate by OWNER to cover possible losses that may be caused by such items.
5. PARKING: When and if RESIDENT is assigned a parking area/space on OWNER'S property, the parking area/space shall be used exclusively for parking of passenger automobiles and/or those approved vehicles listed on RESIDENT'S Application attached hereto. RESIDENT is hereby assigned or permitted to park only in the following area or space _SPACE NUMBERED_11759. The parking fee for this space (if applicable is $__ZERO DOLLARS__ monthly. Said space shall not be used for the washing, painting, or repair of vehicles. No other parking space shall be used by RESIDENT or RESIDENT'S guest(s). RESIDENT is responsible for oil leaks and other vehicle discharges for which RESIDENT shall be charged for cleaning if deemed necessary by OWNER.
6. NOISE: RESIDENT agrees not to cause or allow any noise or activity on the premises which might disturb the peace and quiet of another RESIDENT and/or neighbor. Said noise and/or activity shall be a breach of this agreement.
7. DESTRUCTION OF PREMISES: If the premises become totally or partially destroyed during the term of this Agreement so that RESIDENT'S use is seriously impaired, OWNER or RESIDENT may terminate this Agreement immediately upon three day written notice to the other.
8. CONDITION OF PREMISES: RESIDENT acknowledges that he has examined the premises and that said premises, all furnishings, fixtures, furniture, plumbing, heating, electrical facilities, all items listed on the attached property condition checklist, if any, and/or all other items provided by OWNER are all clean, and in good satisfactory condition except as may be indicated elsewhere in this Agreement. RESIDENT agrees to keep the premises and all items in good order and good condition and to immediately pay for costs to repair and/or replace any portion of the above damaged by RESIDENT, his guests and/or invitees, except as provided by law. At the termination of this Agreement, all of above items in this provision shall be returned to OWNER in clean and good condition except for reasonable wear and tear and the premises shall be free of all personal property and trash not belonging to OWNER. It is agreed that all dirt, holes, tears, burns, and stains of any size or amount in the carpets, drapes, walls, fixtures, and/or any other part of the premises, do not constitute reasonable wear and tear.
9. ALTERATIONS: RESIDENT shall not paint, wallpaper, alter or redecorate, change or install locks, install antenna or other equipment, screws, fastening devices, large nails, or adhesive materials, place signs, displays, or other exhibits, on or in any portion of the premises without the written consent of the OWNER except as may be provided by law.
10: PROPERTY MAINTENANCE: RESIDENT shall deposit all garbage and waste in a clean and sanitary manner into the proper receptacles and shall cooperate in keeping the garbage area neat and clean. RESIDENT shall be responsible for disposing of items of such size and nature as are not normally acceptable by the garbage hauler. RESIDENT shall be responsible for keeping the kitchen and bathroom drains free of things that may tend to cause clogging of the drains. RESIDENT shall pay for the cleaning out of any plumbing fixture that may need to be cleared of stoppage and for the expense or damage caused by stopping of waste pipes or overflow from bathtubs, wash basins, or sinks.
11. HOUSE RULES: MADMAN SHALL NOT BOTHER OTHER RESIDENTS AT ANYTIME, HIS CRATE IS LOCATED IN THE BASEMENT AND HE SHALL USE ON THE TRASH DOCK TO ENTER OR EXIT.
12. CHANGE OF TERMS: The terms and conditions of this agreement are subject to future change by OWNER after the expiration of the agreed lease period upon 30-day written notice setting forth such change and delivered to RESIDENT. Any changes are subject to laws in existence at the time of the Notice of Change Of Terms.
13. TERMINATION: After expiration of the leasing period, this agreement is automatically renewed from month to month, but may be terminated by either party giving to the other a 30-day written notice of intention to terminate. Where laws require "just cause", such just cause shall be so stated on said notice. The premises shall be considered vacated only after all areas including storage areas are clear of all RESIDENT'S belongings, and keys and other property furnished for RESIDENT'S use are returned to OWNER. Should the RESIDENT hold over beyond the termination date or fail to vacate all possessions on or before the termination date, RESIDENT shall be liable for additional rent and damages which may include damages due to OWNER'S loss of prospective new renters.
14. POSSESSION: If OWNER is unable to deliver possession of the residence to RESIDENTS on the agreed date, because of the loss or destruction of the residence or because of the failure of the prior residents to vacate or for any other reason, the RESIDENT and/or OWNER may immediately cancel and terminate this agreement upon written notice to the other party at their last known address, whereupon neither party shall have liability to the other, and any sums paid under this Agreement shall be refunded in full. If neither party cancels, this Agreement shall be prorated and begin on the date of actual possession.
15. INSURANCE: RESIDENT acknowledges that OWNERS insurance does not cover personal property damage caused by fire, theft, rain, war, acts of God, acts of others, and/or any other causes, nor shall OWNER be held liable for such losses. RESIDENT is hereby advised to obtain his own insurance policy to cover any personal losses.
16. RIGHT OF ENTRY AND INSPECTION: OWNER may enter, inspect, and/or repair the premises at any time in case of emergency or suspected abandonment. OWNER shall give 24 hours advance notice and may enter for the purpose of showing the premises during normal business hours to prospective renters, buyers, lenders, for smoke alarm inspections, and/or for normal inspections and repairs. OWNER is permitted to make all alterations, repairs and maintenance that in OWNER'S judgment is necessary to perform.
17. ASSIGNMENT: RESIDENT agrees not to transfer, assign or sublet the premises or any part thereof.
18. PARTIAL INVALIDITY: Nothing contained in this Agreement shall be construed as waiving any of the OWNER'S or RESIDENT'S rights under the law. If any part of this Agreement shall be in conflict with the law, that part shall be void to the extent that it is in conflict, but shall not invalidate this Agreement nor shall it affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision of this Agreement.
19. NO WAIVER: OWNER'S acceptance of rent with knowledge of any default by RESIDENT or waiver by OWNER of any breach of any term of this Agreement shall not constitute a waiver of subsequent breaches. Failure to require compliance or to exercise any right shall not be constituted as a waiver by OWNER of said term, condition, and/or right, and shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any provision of this Agreement.
20. ATTORNEY FEES: If any legal action or proceedings be brought by either party of this Agreement, the prevailing party shall be reimbursed for all reasonable attorney's fees and costs in addition to other damages awarded.
21. JOINTLY AND SEVERALLY: The undersigned RESIDENTS are jointly and severally responsible and liable for all obligations under this agreement.
22. REPORT TO CREDIT/TENANT AGENCIES: You are hereby notified that a nonpayment, late payment or breach of any of the terms of this rental agreement may be submitted/reported to a credit and/or tenant reporting agency, and may create a negative credit record on your credit report.
23. LEAD NOTIFICATION REQUIREMENT: For rental dwellings built before 1978, RESIDENT acknowledges receipt of the following: (Please check)
_X__ Lead Based Paint Disclosure Form
_X__ EPA Pamphlet
24. ADDITIONS AND/OR EXCEPTIONS
MADMAN WILL BE ABLE TO HAVE MEAL SERVICE AT AN ADDITIONAL COST OF $12.37 PER DAY, PAYABLE IN ADVANCE EACH WEEK. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE OFFER OF THESE MEALS BE CONSIDERED AN OFFER TO MAKE A SPECIAL MENU FOR MADMAN. IF MADMAN DOES NOT LIKE WHAT IS BEING SERVED HE SIMPLY DOES NO HAVE TO EAT IT. HOWEVER NO CREDIT FOR MEALS WILL BE GIVEN.
25. NOTICES: All notices to RESIDENT shall be served at RESIDENT'S premises and all notices to OWNER shall be served at THE CRATE DOOR OR POSTED IN THE AFOREMENTIONED THREAD.
26. INVENTORY: The premises contains the following items, that the RESIDENT may use. CRATE WALLS AND FLOOR..
27. KEYS AND ADDDENDUMS: RESIDENT acknowledges receipt of the following which shall be deemed part of this Agreement: (Please check)
_X__ Keys #of keys and purposes ____OPENS TRASH DOOR_____
_X__ House Rules _X__ Pet Agreement _X__ Other ANYTHING ELSE PAPASMERF SAID OR CLAIMS TO HAVE SAID_
28. ENTIRE AGREEMENT: This Agreement constitutes the entire Agreement between OWNER and RESIDENT. No oral agreements have been entered into, and all modifications or notices shall be in writing to be valid.
32. RECEIPT OF AGREEMENT: The undersigned RESIDENTS have read and understand this Agreement and hereby acknowledge receipt of a copy of this Rental Agreement.
RESIDENT'S Signature MADMAN Date _APRIL 20, 2013_
OWNER'S or Agent's Signature PAPASMERF ceo SMERF lpc Date__APRIL 20, 2013
(No representation is made as to the legal validity or the adequacy of any provision in this Agreement. If you desire legal advice, consult your attorney.)

 

[papasmerf]

LUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[-b]

Papa and MM both of you have me laughing .....Damn where are my Depends again....

 

[-b]

And I have teeth ....and they are real.....
See...

Damn I need them in my mouth..........

 

[papasmerf]

BETWEEN SMERF LPC AND MADMAN aka ASSHAT MANMAD

APRIL 20, 2013

MadMan aka Asshat shall hold SMERF LPC, all OFFICERS, BOARDMEMBERS and or TENANTS of the holdings of SMERF LPC, harmless of any litigation. MADMAN agrees to step in as litigant and assume all legal costs or court decisions to SMERF LPC, as a result of his rental of a CRATE from SMERF LPC.


__Madman_____
MadMan


_Papasmerf ceo SMERF lpc____

 

[-b]

BETWEEN SMERF LPC AND MADMAN aka ASSHAT MANMAD

APRIL 20, 2013

MadMan aka Asshat shall hold SMERF LPC, all OFFICERS, BOARDMEMBERS and or TENANTS of the holdings of SMERF LPC, harmless of any litigation. MADMAN agrees to step in as litigant and assume all legal costs or court decisions to SMERF LPC, as a result of his rental of a CRATE from SMERF LPC.


__Madman_____
MadMan


_Papasmerf ceo SMERF lpc____

Papa why argue with him Kick him out..........the way has treated his employees....No respect ....
No pay......I can go on but I am sitting enjoying the Sun.......:biggrin2:

I love having you taking charge..........plus I saved money for just in case he
comes back......

I have some friends who will remove him.....

Meet some of my cousins ......they will help

 

[papasmerf]

Bliss

I am not a heartless sod.

MM deserves a decent place to live but we as a company still need to collect his rent.

I have the lawyers working on an eviction, if necessary but I suspect MM will come around.

BTW lock the fridge and pantry from now on.
I noticed some cans of SPAM missing today.

 

[-b]

BTW lock the fridge and pantry from now on.
I noticed some cans of SPAM missing today.

That Sneaky B**tard....Not the Spam......Robin's favorite food.....
Also Cardinal.......

I will use the large locks.....and chains

 

[papasmerf]

That Sneaky B**tard....Not the Spam......Robin's favorite food.....
Also Cardinal.......

I will use the large locks.....and chains

HOF brought most of the SPAM

For a long time every night he would bring it in by the car load

 

[papasmerf]

SUPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[-b]

SUPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That looks great....I am so hungry....

 

[papasmerf]

That looks great....I am so hungry....

you should have had more chicken for lunch

 

[-b]

you should have had more chicken for lunch

I love Ribs......