Relationships off the clock

[oldguyzer]

So just ended this relationship with a lady. We'd been seeing each other at the agency since November and she had been my go-to anytime she was on schedule. One day during a visit, she gives me her personal number. I was pleasantly surprised and honoured. It wasn't soon after that that we were communicating on a daily basis and learning about each other. We went out a couple of times and had some fun. We kept the separation of business and personal time and we only saw each other for sex on the agency time.

Being a bit of a romantic, I started to care a bit more about this lady than I probably should have. I knew that this was probably not the same feeling that was being returned to me. I accepted this but it didn't stop me from trying to see if it could go further in some respect. It was shot down (nicely) and I accepted that too. Had to at least ask

Basically, the relationship ended because of a misunderstanding of the rules of engagement. It wasn't shared with me and it was assumed I knew but some of those lines had been crossed and I was not notified of turning over the apple cart.

I will miss her, but this is my fourth time around with this situation and it's never turned out well. Lessons learned maybe just for me, but I think a pay for play relationship should remain just that.

It is a very delicate line to tread, and I've often crossed it, sometimes fatally (for the relationship) and sometimes not. Every one of the ladies I've had an extra-professional relationship with wasn't in that relationship for the sex, but for the companionship. Sure, in most cases sex was there and readily available, but on their terms more than mine. That's the price paid for the cause. And I too lost a few over my desire to be more than casual friends...

 

[Chunky]

I think you boys are setting yourselves up for being let down. You want to have a relationship, pick a girl up the regular way.

Paying means they are not stayin!

 

[Wes]

If this gives you a boner then time to quit.

 

[oldguyzer]

I think you boys are setting yourselves up for being let down. You want to have a relationship, pick a girl up the regular way.

Paying means they are not stayin!

Beg to differ...been with the same lady quite regularly for years and she is in the business. As long as you don't confuse the work person and the not-in-work person, it's pretty easy to deal with.

 

[Reverse]

Beg to differ...been with the same lady quite regularly for years and she is in the business. As long as you don't confuse the work person and the not-in-work person, it's pretty easy to deal with.

You basically socialize for free but pay for sex. It's pretty simple if emotions are kept in check. The problem starts to happen with the guy usually starts to believe he has exclusivity which is hardly ever the case.

 

[oldguyzer]

You basically socialize for free but pay for sex. It's pretty simple if emotions are kept in check. The problem starts to happen with the guy usually starts to believe he has exclusivity which is hardly ever the case.

Yep. Or expects the professional fantasy on offer for $$$ to be on offer for nothing. News for most guys: a lot of the ladies don't like doing what they do for money, and won't do it outside the profession. Come to terms with that, accept it, and you'll be fine.

 

[thesun]

Sorry I pay for a good fuck not for a complicated one way street relationship.

 

[Senior]

So my lady friend and I had a heart to heart (not that it matters to some of you ). I missed her as a companion. We have a lot of things in common and got along well outside of the business. OG is right, there needs to be a separation, and my lady friend and I spoke about that too. I'm not fit to have any type of serious relationship and she isn't ready either. We enjoy each others company and the little messages we send each other throughout the day are charming and brings a smile to each of our faces.

We've committed to being companions and keeping the business part, business. If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, it doesn't make sense to me either. It works for me and that's what's important.

 

[Boing]

Doesn't make sense.

 

[Robintheboywonder]

So my lady friend and I had a heart to heart (not that it matters to some of you ). I missed her as a companion. We have a lot of things in common and got along well outside of the business. OG is right, there needs to be a separation, and my lady friend and I spoke about that too. I'm not fit to have any type of serious relationship and she isn't ready either. We enjoy each others company and the little messages we send each other throughout the day are charming and brings a smile to each of our faces.

We've committed to being companions and keeping the business part, business. If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, it doesn't make sense to me either. It works for me and that's what's important.

So basically your friends with benefits . Your benefit is companionship, somebody to break up the day with a little flirtatious chit chat, maybe a movie, maybe dinner and you can have sex anytime you want. Her benefit is a free dinner, a free movie, somebody to talk to who knows what she does and doesn't judge her and some extra cash whenever she puts out. Win win although she'd probably prefer a superhero with a cape and green tights but that's a discussion for another day..

 

[Senior]

I think you boys are setting yourselves up for being let down. You want to have a relationship, pick a girl up the regular way.

Paying means they are not stayin!

Truer words my friend. Relationship ended. Badly. Although I still hobbied, I had a twinges of guilt...not for long, but I did.

Some SP's, just can't adapt to regular life well. Promises were consistently becoming 2nd order. I totally understand they have their personal life, but please don't tell me you'll do something and then not.

We went away for a few days and it was really really great. It didn't feel like an arrangement. I will take full blame for crossing the line and expecting things I should not have. This will not happen again.

OG, you're a better man than I for controlling and maintaining these kinds of relationships. I cannot. Hence two visits and we're done. Raiden has tried to teach me this for years.

In the meantime, I've got a few reviews to post

Next....

 

[Valid]

In the meantime, I've got a few reviews to post

Next....

That's the attitude :-Cool/"

 

[Senior]

That's the attitude :-Cool/"

Indeed.

 

[oldguyzer]

Truer words my friend. Relationship ended. Badly. Although I still hobbied, I had a twinges of guilt...not for long, but I did.

Some SP's, just can't adapt to regular life well. Promises were consistently becoming 2nd order. I totally understand they have their personal life, but please don't tell me you'll do something and then not.

We went away for a few days and it was really really great. It didn't feel like an arrangement. I will take full blame for crossing the line and expecting things I should not have. This will not happen again.

OG, you're a better man than I for controlling and maintaining these kinds of relationships. I cannot. Hence two visits and we're done. Raiden has tried to teach me this for years.

In the meantime, I've got a few reviews to post

Next....

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, but if you don't try....


They don't all work out for me. But when they do, they are special.

 

[S C I]

 

[Prick]

[h=2]Are Friends With Benefits as Satisfied as Married Couples?[/h]
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...re-friends-benefits-satisfied-married-couples

 

[oldguyzer]

Are Friends With Benefits as Satisfied as Married Couples?


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...re-friends-benefits-satisfied-married-couples

Never trust a psychologist.... :biggrin2:

 

[Flash Bazbo]

I've told you guys everything you needed to know to be able to do this but a) you didn't read it, or b) you didn't understand it, or c) you didn't want to learn it or d) the mods removed it, or e) some combination of the above. Honestly, I don't care if YOU know how to do it. That doesn't benefit ME.