crackerjack
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2009
- Messages
- 135
Have not been getting any hay on me fork lately. Been outta the dooger-dunkin circuit waaaaayyyy to long and the wife has gone AWOL for the past month. After filing a missing persons report,,,, cops advise me to prepare for the worse. Guess that means a return trip to the thrift shop to pick up her clothes (but I digress). Needless to say; my other significant other (aka Lil’Head) has been backing up worst than a sperm whale in the rut. Feeling a might concerned ‘bout the monkly existence of my lil one-eyed digit ,,, it was high time for some gently used pussy (new to the biz kinda gal); thus, my choice of NN’s newest ride. Popped a handful of Viagaras and hiked ‘er out the front porch lickety-split to see a woman about a vagina.
Stepped into the dimly lit sin bin to witness a vision appear from the shadows --- a femme fatale adorned in Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret. Exchanged the usual pleasantries and availed myself of their masterbatorium for a hearty polishing of the naughty bits. Whipped a scant towel about me loins,,,,,,, and hop-scotched back to the mattress to join my lofty-legged luv seductively draped across the bed. Licked my eyebrows once and dove in for the kill.
Paraded lip-to-lip through the alphabet with some LK chased with L FK, which found me deep in D FK trouble and a twisted mangle of arms and legs. After a vigorous lip-lock romp, it was time to unleash mischievous digits on her mildred. Elle rewarded my frolicking fingers by bathing the ‘girly unmentionables’ in a frothy mix of luv juices. Donned a snorkel from the emergency hobby kit and in fine form,,,,I dove into the (Y). Chug-a-lugged my way about her flooded love canal,,,,,,gurgling like a fat kid with a 7-11 Slurpie. Tongued her ‘bean’ willy-nilly till her hips shuddered and she abandoned herself in a Big-O.
Flipped her over for some ass worship. Schlongitudinally sprawled across her backside pressing the boy HHHARD into the crack of ‘er arse practically driving the frillies up her dirt chute. Was all over her like white on rice (ummm,,,,ok,,,,bad analogy). Shot a downward glance at the boy’s throbbing impatience. Given his vertical expression of a horizontal desire; madly slapped the cock wrap over lil goo-head before he prematurely soiled himself. Tugged her hips into d oggy and introduced the lad to her snapper. Eased the little creep SSSSLLLLLLOWWWWLY betwixt the blooms of her secret garden. An anger bang ensued,,,,becoming frantic,,,,,then insane until we were going at each other like two woolly apes in the grass.
With the clock ticking down,,,, and given the blistering pace,,,, damn near scorched me loins in this hurried hell. Felt my glutimus maximus pucker and let out a rather vocal “PHUCK ME!” when little Bullwinkle blew a bus load of DNA up his latex hoodie.
DAMN! THAT’ssss,,,,,,GONNA HURT IN THE MORNING.
Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:
Face: 8.5
A real cutie. Definitely a young youngin’ with a mega-watt smile, flawless charcoal complexion, wirey black hair to the shoulders and dark eyes.
Body: 9
THEY ACTUALLY BUILD WOMEN LIKE THIS???!!!
Man this girl is willowy tall! Like these types,,,the kind you can literally walk up to and plant your tongue on their g-spot without bending a knee. Guesstimating 20-23 yrs young and every inch of the advertised 5’8” with lllloooonnnng slender legs that stretch pass the divot in your upper lip. Following said gamms northward finds a splendid set of buns perched precariously on top. I’m talking an outrageously solid, cast-iron bubble-butt that deserves showcase space in the ROM for all to admire. A maximus buttus built for whacking, smacking and vigorous ball-slapping d oggy (and yes I am a butthead).
And to this boob connisseur’s delight; all original equipment upstairs too. No bolt-ons courtesy of iTIT Corp. Although a not so perky set of jell-oo-ee G-cup jugs capped off with itsy-bitsy nipples was duly noted. Odd for one of such tender years. Nevertheless; do not recall any tramp stamps, bric-brac or bling-bling stapled to her flesh. A completely blank canvass. A most refreshing change from the bulk of SP’s heinous body art.
Personality: 8
Cuddly, G FE in nature. Very pleasant young lady, accommodating, smiling and willing to please. Possesses an intelligence level well beyond most of us yard apes I dare venture. Could detect a hint of shyness in her soft spoken tones which I found alluring.
Session: 8.5
Not one to take charge but preferred this deviant to lead the way into the kingdom of Pervdom. Spidey senses suspect it’s shyness related and may dissipate with repeat sessions. Spent to much time heads down between her legs to fully explore the ‘menu’ so cannot comment what other unchaste treasures Elle may offer up.
Facilities: 7
Apartment in a convenient downtown high-rise location of our fair city. Bed/bath rooms are tiny, tired and claustrophobic. Barely enough room to lower your zipper. Cleanliness of the room and shower was acceptable but not exceptional. Adequate for a quickie 1/2 hour but perish the thought of entertaining royalty in such digs.
Losses:
$130.00hh. Imho,,,,fair market value for the elixir to cure what ails.
Repeat:
In two shakes of a lamb’s tail if not sooner.
Closing Arguments:
Was a wee bit leery going into this venture as past experience with NN has been borderline mediocre. Fortunately this was not the case. I could speak volumes for this ‘diamond amongst gems’ but will spare you the agony of my ramblings. Regrettably, not a lot of ebony naughty hotties to shag in this sport(sigh!). Sooooooo; before visiting this long-legged filly; do pack a pair of velvet gloves in your emergency hobby kit. Elle deserves to be handled with the utmost T-L-C and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Would not want her to meet an untimely demise working for Fornication Inc.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
Stepped into the dimly lit sin bin to witness a vision appear from the shadows --- a femme fatale adorned in Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret. Exchanged the usual pleasantries and availed myself of their masterbatorium for a hearty polishing of the naughty bits. Whipped a scant towel about me loins,,,,,,, and hop-scotched back to the mattress to join my lofty-legged luv seductively draped across the bed. Licked my eyebrows once and dove in for the kill.
Paraded lip-to-lip through the alphabet with some LK chased with L FK, which found me deep in D FK trouble and a twisted mangle of arms and legs. After a vigorous lip-lock romp, it was time to unleash mischievous digits on her mildred. Elle rewarded my frolicking fingers by bathing the ‘girly unmentionables’ in a frothy mix of luv juices. Donned a snorkel from the emergency hobby kit and in fine form,,,,I dove into the (Y). Chug-a-lugged my way about her flooded love canal,,,,,,gurgling like a fat kid with a 7-11 Slurpie. Tongued her ‘bean’ willy-nilly till her hips shuddered and she abandoned herself in a Big-O.
Flipped her over for some ass worship. Schlongitudinally sprawled across her backside pressing the boy HHHARD into the crack of ‘er arse practically driving the frillies up her dirt chute. Was all over her like white on rice (ummm,,,,ok,,,,bad analogy). Shot a downward glance at the boy’s throbbing impatience. Given his vertical expression of a horizontal desire; madly slapped the cock wrap over lil goo-head before he prematurely soiled himself. Tugged her hips into d oggy and introduced the lad to her snapper. Eased the little creep SSSSLLLLLLOWWWWLY betwixt the blooms of her secret garden. An anger bang ensued,,,,becoming frantic,,,,,then insane until we were going at each other like two woolly apes in the grass.
With the clock ticking down,,,, and given the blistering pace,,,, damn near scorched me loins in this hurried hell. Felt my glutimus maximus pucker and let out a rather vocal “PHUCK ME!” when little Bullwinkle blew a bus load of DNA up his latex hoodie.
DAMN! THAT’ssss,,,,,,GONNA HURT IN THE MORNING.
Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:
Face: 8.5
A real cutie. Definitely a young youngin’ with a mega-watt smile, flawless charcoal complexion, wirey black hair to the shoulders and dark eyes.
Body: 9
THEY ACTUALLY BUILD WOMEN LIKE THIS???!!!
Man this girl is willowy tall! Like these types,,,the kind you can literally walk up to and plant your tongue on their g-spot without bending a knee. Guesstimating 20-23 yrs young and every inch of the advertised 5’8” with lllloooonnnng slender legs that stretch pass the divot in your upper lip. Following said gamms northward finds a splendid set of buns perched precariously on top. I’m talking an outrageously solid, cast-iron bubble-butt that deserves showcase space in the ROM for all to admire. A maximus buttus built for whacking, smacking and vigorous ball-slapping d oggy (and yes I am a butthead).
And to this boob connisseur’s delight; all original equipment upstairs too. No bolt-ons courtesy of iTIT Corp. Although a not so perky set of jell-oo-ee G-cup jugs capped off with itsy-bitsy nipples was duly noted. Odd for one of such tender years. Nevertheless; do not recall any tramp stamps, bric-brac or bling-bling stapled to her flesh. A completely blank canvass. A most refreshing change from the bulk of SP’s heinous body art.
Personality: 8
Cuddly, G FE in nature. Very pleasant young lady, accommodating, smiling and willing to please. Possesses an intelligence level well beyond most of us yard apes I dare venture. Could detect a hint of shyness in her soft spoken tones which I found alluring.
Session: 8.5
Not one to take charge but preferred this deviant to lead the way into the kingdom of Pervdom. Spidey senses suspect it’s shyness related and may dissipate with repeat sessions. Spent to much time heads down between her legs to fully explore the ‘menu’ so cannot comment what other unchaste treasures Elle may offer up.
Facilities: 7
Apartment in a convenient downtown high-rise location of our fair city. Bed/bath rooms are tiny, tired and claustrophobic. Barely enough room to lower your zipper. Cleanliness of the room and shower was acceptable but not exceptional. Adequate for a quickie 1/2 hour but perish the thought of entertaining royalty in such digs.
Losses:
$130.00hh. Imho,,,,fair market value for the elixir to cure what ails.
Repeat:
In two shakes of a lamb’s tail if not sooner.
Closing Arguments:
Was a wee bit leery going into this venture as past experience with NN has been borderline mediocre. Fortunately this was not the case. I could speak volumes for this ‘diamond amongst gems’ but will spare you the agony of my ramblings. Regrettably, not a lot of ebony naughty hotties to shag in this sport(sigh!). Sooooooo; before visiting this long-legged filly; do pack a pair of velvet gloves in your emergency hobby kit. Elle deserves to be handled with the utmost T-L-C and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Would not want her to meet an untimely demise working for Fornication Inc.
Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!
Good day and good farmin’
ancing:
raise-Bowing
