Lola Jones placed a huge Glad Kitchen Catchers bag over top of me before I was allowed to touch her. I must admit the draw strap was tighter than I expected but she assured me it would heighten the experience for her.
I had a related experience, but, unfortunately, it ended up having serious consequences. Like our wonderful providers, I live in abject fear of contracting an STD while pursuing this hobby. And whilst I found the idea of a recent nuru massage session to be immensely appealing, I was horrified at the thought of swimming in a veritable petri dish of bacteria infested gelatinous goo.
As you can see from the picture, I have come up with my own, and I must say unique, solution to this problem. Before I describe my session, I have to acknowledge those folk that helped to make this possible. First, the staff at Flirt who took the time to help me don my Saran Suit. I am neither sufficiently flexible nor ambidextrous to clad myself in this manner, and be certain that I am impervious to the petri dish contents. Although I would say that the extra $$$ that I was charged for their time was a little steep especially since Vince the manager got a little up close and personal with the world’s coldest hands. In fact, they were all pissing their pants laughing, so they should be paying me.
Angie.Owner@Flirt please note this staff issue. Secondly, thanks to the good folk at Union Carbide for inventing Saran Wrap. One minor complaint would be that it took two jumbo rolls to complete the task. That said, slimmer enthusiasts might lean (no pun intended) towards one roll.
The session had its moments. The MPA did her best to make things work, but I must say that some expected sensuality from the nuru body slide was sacrificed in the cause of safety. Also, the Saran impaired my vision and sense of touch, so I was not always sure what I was grabbing. It might explain a couple of loud shrieks and hard slaps (that I suffered not inflicted). Sadly, the Saran, perhaps like me, was too tightly wrapped (around my groin). This not only impeded an erection but, as I later discovered in the shower, it turned my testicles an exquisite shade of crimson. The combination of the nuru and Saran made for an unbelievably slippery and unfortunate experience. As our redoubtable MPA was sliding on top of me, in an effort to heighten the experience, I grabbed a couple of appendages with a view to accentuating the back and forth friction. To my horror the extreme Nuru+Saran slipperiness caused me to launch the poor girl on her stomach right across the room, coming to a resounding head first crash into the wall. Without regard to my pleasure or the time booked, she stumbled out into the corridor, stark gooey naked, in a state of concussed shock mumbling something like “I quit”. Needless to say, I did not tip her.
I do think that I am on to something here and will continue to experiment. Although apparently not at Flirt. In a fit of small mindedness, they have requested that I take my business elsewhere, although that was not quite the sentiment that they expressed.