Sex Stories

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[h=2]Heart-Stopping Sex[/h] "I'll never forget the time an ambulance brought in a young slacker guy and his girlfriend. They had decided to get it on in his grandmother's basement while she was out of the house. They'd grabbed a tube of what they thought was lubricant from her wellstocked medicine cabinet.

Unfortunately, it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. When Grandma came home, she found the couple lying on top of each other, unconscious and buck naked. They eventually came to after we gave them oxygen and fluids."

 

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[h=2]ye Love Dildos[/h]"I got Lasik eye surgery but because of my dry-eye syndrome, and my eyes were really sensitive. That didn't keep me from having sex, though, and my boyfriend and I were excited to try out a new sex toy he had been given as a gag gift, which was a very elaborate rotating dildo. He had barely used it on me, and as a joke went to run the thing, when it was fully turned on, against my cheek to be funny. It was so highly powered that as it was spinning it hit me in the eye and scratched my cornea. I started crying uncontrollably and we had to go to the hospital. When we got there we made some story up about how I ran into something, but eventually my boyfriend started joking with the nurse about what really happened - and five other people in the waiting room heard!"

 

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Wonder if she would do it if he was going to drink and drive....

[h=2]Keyed Up[/h]"A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have fallen out somewhere near her boyfriend's car."

 

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Oldguyzer was this you and Robin or Peace....

[h=2]Toy With Him[/h]"A guy came into our ER one night. When the doctor asked him to describe his problem, he reached into his bag, pulled out a sex-toy catalog, and pointed to a long, curved toy on one of the pages. 'I can show you what's in there,' he winked. 'Now let's see if you can get it out.' The doctor did, after leaving the room to stop laughing so hard."

 

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Casa wonder if that was you....

[h=2]Go Fish[/h]"A man explained that his girlfriend had tried to take his temperature rectally and 'lost' the thermometer. I could actually see the glass tip poking out of his rear end, so I got a padded clamp and gently began pulling. It was a thermometer all right, but one for a fish tank-more than a foot long!"

 

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[h=2]Play Ball[/h]"A young couple came in with this story: During sex, the woman had grabbed a medium-size rubber ball and inserted it into her man's back door. The ball became lodged so high in his rectum, they couldn't get it out... and neither could we! The attending MD paged a surgeon, but while we were waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the just arriving surgeon in the head."

 

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The French Connection. Parental walk-ins were a popular part of the sexual horror story pantheon, as were trips abroad, but only one, Violeta's, included an unexpected parent, transnationalism and .

A few years ago, my French bf-at-the-time took me to Paris to meet his family....His mother, a haughty Parisienne who believes that her only son is GOD, and that no girl could possibly be classy enough to deserve him. Their regard is mutual - he worships her as much as she worships him.
One evening after a champagne-soaked dinner, she left to go to the theater. Expecting that she'd be gone for several hours, we started having regular sex, and then anal sex, on a couch adjacent to the table at which we'd had dinner. Things kept getting hotter, and my b.f. started f*cking my ass with the slim end of a champagne bottle. This felt good at first... but then I realized that something felt off. I slowed him down in an attempt to understand what on Earth my body was doing, and I realized that my bowels were moving. And I kind of realized that it was too late to stop what was happening.
At this already Godforsaken moment, we hear a key in the door and his mother pops into the room. The bitch had forgotten her shawl or something. So there I am, naked, on her couch, while her son, also naked, is holding a champagne bottle that is obviously deeply embedded in my ass. We shriek, and he yanks out the bottle. And immediately out comes a LARGE, dark brown, smelly piece of poop. It just rolls out - this felt like it was happening in slow motion, and I kept trying to stop it but I couldn't - and lands on her couch.
The French boy and I broke up shortly thereafter. I dumped him - pun intended.
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[socialstrat]

These are great!

:YMAPPLAUSE:

 

[Stoner]

Good stuff :LMAO:

 

[Pullmyfinger]

:biggrin2:

 

[L._s.]

Great:YMAPPLAUSE:

One of my house mates in University (in medical school) told me that two guys were in the emergency room. One indicated that his friend accidentally sat on a tube of toothpaste and it got stuck in his bum. My poor friend had to remove the toothpaste (this was in the early 90s when people were still really paranoid about HIV).

I wonder if that was Robin and Peace.

 

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Me and my fiance' had just gotten a new puppy. She was about 6 weeks at the time. My fiance' decided he wanted to have sex so we started to get all hot and heavy. Well, he forgot to put the puppy on the floor. While we were doing the deed (he was on top) out of no where he makes a really funny face and starts screaming: get her off get her off! That's when I realized, she had come up behind him and bit his balls and started playing tug of war. After that he made sure to put her on the floor BEFORE we had sex.​

 

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I make a mistake in posting a story.....

Sorry....

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[Clint Ewood]

any videos?

 

[Clint Ewood]

i want to rub one or two out to that, pm me the video.

So me and my boyfriend have birthdays a week apart. On his birthday I spent the night at his house and we had birthday sex every thing went fine. Well on my birthday I had a little some thing at my house and I like with my mom and her boyfriend. I'm only turning 17, so we had cake and all the good stuff and I started to get really horny and every one was out side. I started kissing him and he got hard he pushed me off and said no he doesn't want to get caught I told him we won't and so we went up stairs. And we started to do it standing up against my door and as were both about to cum my mom is trying to keep pushing the door open and I told her hold on but she didn't stop so I fell on the floor and my mom walks in and yells what are u doing and at the same time my boyfriend came all over my moms feet. My face was beat red I couldn't stop laughing. My mom never let's me lives past it.​

 

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i want to rub one or two out to that, pm me the video.

There is no video....and I think I should not have pasted that one....
So I am deleting it...Sorry...the person is under age.....I was not
seeing the age but thought the story was funny.......

 

[Clint Ewood]

There is no video....and I think I should not have pasted that one....
So I am deleting it...Sorry...the person is under age.....I was not
seeing the age but thought the story was funny.......

{Thumbsdown/}