LickingGravity
Reviewer
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2010
- Messages
- 4,747
Let me state right off the bat so Papa doesn't get too excited (and get his red lederhosen in a bunch) this is not an alternative lifestyle story and I was not with Robin and peace. Sorry papa I know how much you live for that stuff.
Jean Claude is apparently a strain of marijuana currently being grown in Quebec. So how does a fine upstanding member of the community, who has been given a clean bill of health from the TSX and the Ontario Securities Commision, know such things?
Well I will tell you:
1) I'm not as innocent as you might think. While in university in the 70's I became the "go-to" joint roller on my dorm floor. Whenever anyone wanted to put on Pink Floyd they would come to me with their stash and some papers first. I pretty much left that all behind when I graduated and the only illegal thing I ever did was ignore the speed limit on occasion ;
2) Over the subsequent years the drug of choice became Aussie Shiraz, Napa Cabs or Spanish Rioja;
3) As the years progressed the metabolism slowed (age, quitting smoking etc) and the family curse reared its ugly head ( type 2 diabetes). I also now have metal bits in my heart and take pills for all of the above that I cleverly put in little containers marked by the days of the week. In short, when I wasn't looking, I have become my worst nightmare - my parents.
Okay so Type 2 is a progressive disease that narrows arteries ( little LG is worried, very worried) and must be taken care of with pills and eventually insulin. One of the things that slows its progression is weight loss and exercise. For a few years now I have been eating the square root of Fuck-All and that has helped some but not to the extent I would like. My problem is fairly obvious - I routinely drink a bottle, or more, of red nightly by myself with my 3 ounces of lean meat and 8 green beans. That's an extra 1200 calories right there.
What to do? I have very few other vices and being alone now I need to keep something just to pass the time at night. This wasn`t the long-term plan , but it is what it is now. The quintessential "wine , restless women and song" type of problem.
Being the deep thinker that I am I conclude that I should substitute dope for wine. Dope is calorie free after all. My concerns are twofold - will this tempt me to return to smoking cigarettes? and will I defeat the purpose by getting the munchies ? Only one way to find out. I happen to know this exquisite young lady in Montreal who knows someone that grows medical marijuana.On my next trip I buy an ounce from her. Back home I then skulk into the local convenience store and whisper to the clerk that I would like to buy some rolling papers. He of course almost screams out that I have 3 choices of papers and which one would I like. I pick one at random and off I go to recapture past skills and roll a nice big fat one.
Jesus Christ ! With the first toke I nearly hack out a lung. I force myself to take 2 more. My goodness this stuff is a lot stronger than 30 years ago. Totally stoned on 3 tokes. The next day my eyeballs hurt. So much for this experiment, but now I have $200 of worthless grass on hand. I happen to lament this when I am in the throes of one of Paige`s fine massages. She tells me about vaporizers which will cure the hacking problem because they are theoretically smokeless and you can inhale smaller quantities. I thank her and its off to The Hemp Company to purchase same. Expensive but works like a charm.
Fast forward 3 months. So I was back in Montreal this weekend and, while I am not finished with the first bit, I buy some more from her. I bring her a vaporizer as a thank-you and we have small taste test of Jean-Claude.
Aside from taking the edge off I have rediscovered how good music and sex is in a slightly mind altered state. It is now truly `weed, women and rock and roll`now. She smoked me, so to speak, and it nearly blew the back of my head off. Somehow it make you think you are all of a sudden a rival to Peter North :biggrin2::biggrin2:
PS. I didn`t get the munchies and am still on my 10th year of being cigarette free. The eyeball thing was also solved.
PPS. The other benefit of vaporizers is discretion- no smoke means very little smell.
PPPS. Despite all this do not expect to ever see me with a pony tail or at a Grateful Dead concert
Jean Claude is apparently a strain of marijuana currently being grown in Quebec. So how does a fine upstanding member of the community, who has been given a clean bill of health from the TSX and the Ontario Securities Commision, know such things?
Well I will tell you:
1) I'm not as innocent as you might think. While in university in the 70's I became the "go-to" joint roller on my dorm floor. Whenever anyone wanted to put on Pink Floyd they would come to me with their stash and some papers first. I pretty much left that all behind when I graduated and the only illegal thing I ever did was ignore the speed limit on occasion ;
2) Over the subsequent years the drug of choice became Aussie Shiraz, Napa Cabs or Spanish Rioja;
3) As the years progressed the metabolism slowed (age, quitting smoking etc) and the family curse reared its ugly head ( type 2 diabetes). I also now have metal bits in my heart and take pills for all of the above that I cleverly put in little containers marked by the days of the week. In short, when I wasn't looking, I have become my worst nightmare - my parents.
Okay so Type 2 is a progressive disease that narrows arteries ( little LG is worried, very worried) and must be taken care of with pills and eventually insulin. One of the things that slows its progression is weight loss and exercise. For a few years now I have been eating the square root of Fuck-All and that has helped some but not to the extent I would like. My problem is fairly obvious - I routinely drink a bottle, or more, of red nightly by myself with my 3 ounces of lean meat and 8 green beans. That's an extra 1200 calories right there.
What to do? I have very few other vices and being alone now I need to keep something just to pass the time at night. This wasn`t the long-term plan , but it is what it is now. The quintessential "wine , restless women and song" type of problem.
Being the deep thinker that I am I conclude that I should substitute dope for wine. Dope is calorie free after all. My concerns are twofold - will this tempt me to return to smoking cigarettes? and will I defeat the purpose by getting the munchies ? Only one way to find out. I happen to know this exquisite young lady in Montreal who knows someone that grows medical marijuana.On my next trip I buy an ounce from her. Back home I then skulk into the local convenience store and whisper to the clerk that I would like to buy some rolling papers. He of course almost screams out that I have 3 choices of papers and which one would I like. I pick one at random and off I go to recapture past skills and roll a nice big fat one.
Jesus Christ ! With the first toke I nearly hack out a lung. I force myself to take 2 more. My goodness this stuff is a lot stronger than 30 years ago. Totally stoned on 3 tokes. The next day my eyeballs hurt. So much for this experiment, but now I have $200 of worthless grass on hand. I happen to lament this when I am in the throes of one of Paige`s fine massages. She tells me about vaporizers which will cure the hacking problem because they are theoretically smokeless and you can inhale smaller quantities. I thank her and its off to The Hemp Company to purchase same. Expensive but works like a charm.
Fast forward 3 months. So I was back in Montreal this weekend and, while I am not finished with the first bit, I buy some more from her. I bring her a vaporizer as a thank-you and we have small taste test of Jean-Claude.
Aside from taking the edge off I have rediscovered how good music and sex is in a slightly mind altered state. It is now truly `weed, women and rock and roll`now. She smoked me, so to speak, and it nearly blew the back of my head off. Somehow it make you think you are all of a sudden a rival to Peter North :biggrin2::biggrin2:
PS. I didn`t get the munchies and am still on my 10th year of being cigarette free. The eyeball thing was also solved.
PPS. The other benefit of vaporizers is discretion- no smoke means very little smell.
PPPS. Despite all this do not expect to ever see me with a pony tail or at a Grateful Dead concert
